Sunday, 3 May 2020

Born to win


 Born to win


`Born to win’ is a valuable work of Shri Parmod Batra author of the international
bestseller “Management Thoughts”. The book is meant for all ages, in all walks of life. It
reminds that you are master of your destiny. The book makes one realise that the
reservoir one have for joy, success, love and
happiness is limitless. All one need to do is think positively. And this will bring
enthusiasm, cheerfulness, sincerity and honesty. The author calls that apply the simple
rules and start winning immediately.
Watch your thoughts, they become your words. Watch your words, they become your
actions. Watch your actions, they become your habits. Watch your habits, they become your character. Once you are aware of this, you will be able to ensure, whatever
is good for you. Human mind is a sort of natural computer. In computers the principle
is “GIGO” means “Garbage In Garbage out”. Likewise drawing an analogy between a
computer and human mind, GIGO means “Good Ideas In Good Ideas Out” and reverse
of it is also true, which is called “BIBO” means – Bad Ideas In Bad Ideas Out. Our life is
what our thoughts make it. Our minds are out thought factories and can manufacture
either positive thoughts or negative thoughts, but it is we, only we, can decide which
thoughts to manufacture. Those who want to be happy, train their mind to create happy
thoughts and if we think happy thoughts, we will be happy. If we think miserable
thoughts, we will be miserable. If we think fearful thoughts, we will be fearful.
Man is a strange animal ! No other animal laughs in this Universe. No computer laugh,
no ant laughs, no bee laughs; it is only man who can laugh. Laughter is nature’s greatest
tonic. A good laugh immediately makes us feel better in every way. Laughter brings
strength. Now even science says that laughter is one of the most effective medicines
nature has provided to man.
Now, problems causes us stress. Let us examine why do we have problems ? Well,
roughly speaking one third of our problems are there because we are alive and kicking;
another one-third of our problems are self-created and the remaining one-third of our
problems exist because of our greed and ego. We can solve most of our problems
through our attitude. For every problem, there could be several solutions and solutions
point towards opportunities. Columbus saw his silver lining in discovering the new world,
when he was actually trying to discover a better trade route to India. Author suggest
“MISER” concept :-
M Stands for Merging problems
I Stands for Improving solutions
S Stands for Simplifying ways
E Stands for Eliminating stressful ways
R Stands for Reducing Stress
Thoughtout our life, we keep on trying changing others. But about change it is said.
You can’t change anyone
You can’t change your father,
your mother, your wife, your brother,
your sister, your son, your daughter –
not even your boss !
Change yourself first.
And changing oneself is perhaps the easiest and only problem is we wait so long to begin
it. And when we change ourself, we have the potential to change the world around us !If you are looking for genuine pleasure in life, compare yourself not with others but with
yourself. Most of our stresses come when we compare ourselves with others.
Comparing how we are doing with how others are doing is dangerous. Comparisons
breed insecurity, yet we habitually make them between our children, with the children of
our friends, colleagues and relatives. The result is that we feel on the top of the world
one minute, and the next minute, inferiority complex sets in.
So to be a winner, stop comparing and if you have to compare, compare with your own
potential.
There is a famous saying – ‘Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no
happiness without action’, So, do what you think is right, what you think is proper.
Remember, you can always rectify your wrong decisions the moment you find them to be
wrong. One the other hand, if you do not take any decisions at all, how will you ever be
able to improve your future decision – making ?
Each one of us wants to be great, each one of us wants to be first and each one of us
wants to make history ! Well, everyone knows that this is just not possible. Result –
frustration and failure, stress and strain. Then how to rationalise it. Each one of us
cannot be great and do great things. We can do small things greatly and this way, I
create my own pleasures.
Managing things is simple when you learn to say “NO” and also develop the habit of
accepting “NO”even when others say it. People have limited capacities. If we are to
reduce our pressures, we must keep this fact in mind while accepting assignments or
giving assignments to others. Think before you give commitments. It just require
common sense. “No”is the least used word and is the root cause of a majority of
problems everywhere in the world. Very often, a clear and distinct. “No”can save a
hundred heartaches ! Some times it is hard to say “NO” . You have to decide whether
you want to be a nice guy, or less stressful and, therefore, nicer.
Normally, most of us are too miserly in using the words “thank you” and ‘sorry’in any
language. And when you convey your thanks, what you express in words is 10 percent;
what your eyes convey is 20 percent; what you say from your head is 30 percent and
what you say from your heart is 40 percent.
Forgiveness is happiness. Forgive and forget. Simple If you don’t forgive friends, a
day will come when you will not have any friends. If you are a business man, you will
not have customers. There are people who refuse to let go of the wrongs which have
been done to them. Some do not even forgive and forget their parents. And some
parents don’t forgive and forget their own children. A desire for revenge will harm us
more quickly than the habit of forgiving and forgetting. Martin Luther king said, :
Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a permanent attitude.Ïf we want happiness, we need to manage our anger creatively. Anger is one of the
emotions experienced by each one of us. Controlling anger is an ongoing effort. It
require quick self-audit at the end of the day and this can reduce anger to a great extent.
Greed is the heart’s greatest enemy, not hard work or a hectic schedule, says, Dr.
Naresh Trehan famous cardiologist. Then how to control it ? The moot point is to
frequently ask yourself the questions: “ Is it necessary “? “ Do I really need it “? And
through this small exercise a day will come when you will be at peace with yourself.
Manage your time as you manage your money. And mismanagement of time causes so
many stresses. The basic reason of mis-managing time, is, we spend more time on
things which we like and not on those things which have to be done. In managing time,
we should know our time-stealers and time-savers. God has given 24 hours to
everyone…….. to you, to me and to everyone else. Then how is it that you find some
always in hurry, some always having plenty of time. Nothing but sheer time
management.
Prioritising is another virtue, through it you are able to fix and refix goals and reduce your
mental clutter and stress. In our daily routine, we forget to apply the 80/20 principle –
namely, that 20 percent of what we do will yield 80 percent of the result and vice-versa.
So, to be effective……..do the right things and then try to become efficient by doing these
the right way. Very often, we spend considerable energy working the otherway round –
doing the wrong or unnecessary things with great gusto.
Sometime, some people develop the fear of unknown. To overcome the fear of meeting
new people, new places, new situations, remember that you do not need to know as
much as you think. Ask open ended questions that require more than a “yes” or “no”
answer. This way you will encourage other to talk. You will be better informed and your
fear “what if……..” decreases and your confidence goes up. Always remember, Dialogue
must begin, first of all, within ourself. If we cannot make peace within, how can we hope
to bring about peace in the world.
And finally, treat everybody with politeness, even those who are rude to you. Remember
that you show courtesy to others not because they are gentlemen but because you are
one.
******************

MANAGERIAL LEADERSHIP


 MANAGERIAL LEADERSHIP

It can be argued that senior executives need to manage also, certainly at or below the
general manager level it is imperative that organizations have people who are capable as
both managers and leaders. The focus of this book is on the leadership side of
managerial leadership. Without diminishing the importance of good management, the
critical need today is to enhance managers’ leadership behaviours. It is difficult to
unlearn bad habits, it takes a huge amount of emotional energy to change leadership
behaviors. Virtually all of today’s leadership gurus agree that what distinguishes
successful managers and executives from the masses are their leadership capabilities.
LOOKING OUT, BEFORE LOOKING IN:As you begin analysing your leadership effectiveness, start by looking at your
environment before you examine your internal leadership style. Only by reviewing the
situation you are in-incorporating the work environment, followers, and industry
challenges-can you best determine the leadership behaviors that would make you the
most effective.
Understanding Your Followers:
A critical part of your external analysis is to consider the dynamics of the people you will
be leading. After all, there is no leadership without followers. Their capabilities,
aspirations, personalities, and interactions with each other have direct bearing on how
they need to be led. In trying to better understand your followers, consider the following
characteristics of the individuals and the group as a whole:
• Experience in the industry.
• Experience in the organization.
• The way they were managed in the past.
• The impact of the “demographic” diversity in the group (e.g. age, gender, race and
ethnicity).
• The influence of the “psychographic” diversity in the group (e.g., lifestyles,
personality traits and family dynamics).
• Major recent life experiences.
The time invested in understanding the influence of these factors among your associates
will be well worth it as you consider your leadership options. In determining what
practices and behaviors were common among those effective managerial leaders,
Kouzes and Posner zeroed in on five competencies:
• Challenging the process.
• Inspiring a shared vision.
• Enabling others to act.
• Modeling the way.
• Encouraging the heart.
THE FORCES OF CHANGE:
I cannot think of a period in business when “change” hasn’t been an important concern.
So why is it such a hot topic in boardrooms, executive suites and management
development programmes today? Most managers describe the pace and scope of
change as the key reasons. Change today is constant. There is no stopping it and there
is no standing still. In this way, change is a relentlessly powerful force pounding on
organizations. For change, first, you had to “unfreeze” from the current status quo, move
through a short-term (orchestrated) transition period, and “refreeze” once you reached
the desired state, where you would lock in the new status quo. An analysis of the major
forces of change that are driving business today will provide a richer understanding of
how and why they impact your organization. The four principal forces include:
Ø Intense competition
Ø Demanding customers
Ø Technology
Ø Demanding shareholdersORGANIZATIONS THAT THRIVE IN CHAOS:
Most companies are struggling to cope with the barrage of constant change. Just when
the situation seems to be settling down a bit, the next wave hits and the organization
must react and make a new series of adjustments. While it seems to the associates that
their company is uniquely facing these challenges, the reality is that virtually all
organizations are caught up in this constantly reactive state.
“The question that faces the strategic decision-maker is not ’what his organization
should do tomorrow.’ It is, ‘what do we have to do today to be ready for an
uncertain tomorrow’?”
- Peter Drucker
Only those companies can thrive amidst the chaos of “change management”, who are:
v Flexible.
v Fast.
v Empowered.
v Open in its communications.
v Innovative
v Learning-oriented.
v Development-focused.
v Lean.
v Energized.
v Team-oriented.
v Performance-based.
v Value-driven.
OVERCOMING RESISTANCE:
When is the last time you experienced a major change in your personal life? Think about
what you went through emotionally during that period. Personal experience is analogous
to what happens to many people in their work environments. It is important to
understand both why people resist change and what is the likely range of behavioral
consequences of that resistance. Here is the list of reasons why resistance to change is
so prevalent in the workplace:
ü Fear of the unknown.
ü Fear of failure.
ü Not understanding the need for change.
ü Disagreement with the need for change.
ü Losing something of value.
ü Inertia.
BEING IN THE MIDDLE:
One of the most critical challenges for a managerial leader is to learn how to be a change
agent in the midst of an organization that does not truly want to change. You didn’t
create the mess that the company is in, nor are you the one determining where to go
from here. However, you are held accountable for following the new plans, whether or not you agree with them. Just like a middle child in a family of three kids, you wind up
developing skills that neither the one above you nor the one below you have to develop.
You should start with flexibility. Can you look for ways to build in flexibility as you make
business decisions? It is certainly possible to do so regarding staffing decisions. Look
for ways that you can influence the speed at which your unit responds to its customers
and market opportunities. One level of analysis would be to review your decision-making
processes. Another level of analysis worth considering is to review your assumptions
about speed to market.
Speed and flexibility can’t happen without an empowered work force. One way to
increase the power of your colleagues is to publicly recognize them for their
accomplishments. It is critically important that you create an atmosphere of open
communications throughout your unit. Nothing breeds dissension and distrust more than
communication blockades. If your associates believe you are keeping information from
them, they will assume the information is bad news. If you make it difficult for
subordinates to bring you bad news, then you lose the opportunity to solve problems
since you won’t know they exist.
LEADERSHIP COMPETENCIES:
Enabling your associates to work at their very best is at the core of managerial
leadership. Note that selection of the word enabling is purposeful – “making able;
making it possible for” – as leadership today is so much more about creating
environments where people can succeed than it is about making decisions or getting
things done individually. The critical ingredients to consider are:
q Creating an environment where associates are encouraged to learn and grow.
q Identifying the most important competencies that associates must develop.
q Providing the mechanisms for associates to develop those competencies.
q Generating individual development plans for associates based on their unique
sets of skills and deficiencies.
q Integrating development into the day-to-day activities as much as possible.
COACHING:
Executive and managerial coaching has become a big business. A number of leading
companies, have made extensive use of outside coaches for their managers. The use of
outside coaches has some distinct advantages for companies, particularly if their internal
capacity for coaching is underdeveloped. But outside coaching should not be viewed as
a substitute for the coaching role that managers must play for their direct reports. When
thinking about coaching, the image that most naturally comes to mind is an athletic
coach. Consider a set of responsibilities for the coach of a basketball team, for
example. They include:
· Analyze the competition and determine strategies to defeat them.
· Recruit, retain, and develop talent.
· Build teamwork to create synergy and optimize performance.
· Help each team member to understand his or her role(s) to contribute to team
success.
· Make sure the team and the individual players, continually improves its
performance.This formula for coaching certainly works in the business context. One significant
difference between athletic coaching and managerial coaching is the level of attention
paid to it. In the business world, the importance of the coaching role of managers is a
relatively new phenomenon. It has always been needed, but only recently have
companies begun to understand its importance. Of course, other responsibilities have
not been taken away in order to make time for coaching. Therefore, an important
challenge you face as a manager is to find the time to be an effective coach. Your job is
to achieve business results by enabling your associates to perform to their fullest
potential both as individuals and as a unit. Intuitively, we know there is a strong
connection between employee motivation and performance. Much of the research in this
area has focused more on the relationship between satisfaction and motivation – the
hypothesis being that the more satisfied the employee, the higher his or her motivation.
TEACHING:
According to the dictionary, teaching means, “to impart knowledge or skill.” It is
interesting to contrast that definition with the one for training“to make proficient by
instruction and practice.” From the perspective of outcomes, training implies learning
a specific task or set of activities, while teaching suggests broadening one’s
understanding or expanding one’s skill set. The qualities and behaviors that outstanding
teachers were reported to demonstrate include:
v Strong content knowledge – they know their subject well.
v Passion for teaching.
v Challenged students to do their best – demanding.
v Built students’ confidence that they could learn difficult material.
v Cared for each student.
v Had the ability to teach individual students in the way that best enabled the
students to learn – did not use a one-size-fits-all teaching style.
v Demonstrated a love for learning and helping others to learn.
MENTORING:
Mentoring has become common as a term applied to an organizational context. Over the
past decade, many companies have developed formal mentoring programs to help junior
level managers learn from wise and experienced senior-level executives. One of the
major elements that impacts the mentor-protégé relationship is the degree of objectivity
the mentor brings to the interactions. By not being involved in the individual’s day-to-day
activities and lacking direct supervisory responsibilities, the mentor is unencumbered by
some key potential conflicts that would interfere with the ability to offer sound advice. An
effective mentor keeps the relationship focused solely on the needs of the protégé, not
on any of his or her own personal agendas. It is not easy to maintain a high level of
objectivity in discussing career development and organizational politics with a
subordinate. It is also difficult for the associate to feel secure in talking openly and
honestly with her manager, as she might with a mentor who was outside the work unit. A
less potentially contentious aspect of mentoring your staff members, as a managerial
leader, is to help them better understand the organization’s political landscape and how
to best navigate it. Remember, the point of mentoring is to provide advice and guidance
on career and other long-term development issues. Here are some ways in which you
can integrate mentoring into your activities:Ø Meet with your associates once or twice a year to discuss their career progress
and aspirations.
Ø Get to know your associates’ family situations and principal hobbies or community
activities.
Ø If one of your associates is struggling with a career or professional decision, let
the associate know you would be willing to offer your advice.
Ø Demonstrate empathy for the situations your associates are facing.
Ø Use storytelling from your past to describe how you learned to manage your own
career.
Ø Encourage your associates to continue to grow and develop meaningful careers
for themselves.
DEVELOPING SELF AND DEVELOPING OTHERS:
Unlearning is harder than learning, especially for adults. The behaviors people exhibit
are typically built from the experiences they have had over many years. It is quite a
challenge, first, to understand what we need to change in ourselves and, second, to do
something about it that makes a difference. Before you begin to work on helping your
associates change their leadership practices, you need to work on your own behaviors.
There is no substitute for “walking the talk” as a source of modeling and inspiration.
The important concept to recognize is that you cannot separate developing others from
developing yourself. Good coaches know they get better as a result of coaching their
players. Good teachers realize they learn as much from their students as their students
learn from them. By putting your attention into coaching, teaching and mentoring others,
you will also be developing yourself. If you find a unit that is performing well, with
motivated employees who work well together, the probability is high that a primary
reason for their success is that the unit’s manager is an effective leader.
GIVING AND RECEIVING FEEDBACK:
It is critically important that you provide the employees with open and candid feedback if
you are sincerely interested in helping them to become more successful. Most managers
have a very hard time giving constructive criticism. The problem seems to be more with
the constructive part than with the criticism. If you want to help someone develop, you
need to point out their shortcomings while providing them with a mechanism for
improvement. It is important to the entire organization that you overcome the discomfort
and provide candid feedback to your associates. The communication skills required for
doing so may seem basic but are really quite refined. In providing constructive feedback
you are truly helping associates have the opportunity to perform at a high level. It is good
for their development. It is good for the organization’s performance. It is also good for
your development and leadership effectiveness.
Here are some of the principal elements for giving comprehensive feedback to an
associate, especially if the feedback is in the form of constructive criticism.
§ Find a location to meet that is nonthreatening and conducive to an informal
discussion.
§ State the purpose of the meeting.
§ Begin by stressing the positive.
§ When you are getting into the areas of poor performance, be sure to separate the
person from the problem.§ Ask the associate to provide his or her perspective on the situation.
§ Be sure to listen well. You may learn something about the situation you did not
know.
§ Summarize what you have heard and then offer your perspective on the matter.
§ Specially address the behavior or competency area that you want to see
improved.
§ Set tangible milestones or accomplishments.
§ Create a mutually agreed-upon action plan.
§ End the conversation on a positive, not punitive, note. If you are serious in your
desire to see improvement, you need to show confidence that the individual can,
in fact, make that improvement.
How feedback is received is as important as how it is given. There is another set of skills
associated with effectively receiving feedback. Industrial psychologists and
organizational development specialists will all tell you that “RECEIVING FEEDBACK IS
A GIFT, YOU SHOULD CHERISH IT.” Sometimes it sure doesn’t feel like much of a gift,
and since you don’t get a receipt, it’s hard to take it back to the store and exchange it for
something else. But you do need to find out how others perceive your behaviors or if you
are doing anything incorrectly without realizing it. In an ideal communications world, this
would not be an issue, as individuals within the organization would be giving and
receiving feedback constantly. However, there is no ideal communication world of which
I am aware. Most corporate cultures reflect a lack of candor and openness in
interpersonal interactions. Poor internal communications is among the most common
problems identified in employee surveys addressing morale and job satisfaction. As with
giving feedback, there are ways to enhance your ability to receive feedback effectively as
well. Remind yourself to:
ü Avoid getting defensive.
ü Listen carefully.
ü Ask questions for clarification, if needed, but avoid asking questions that would
attack the credibility of the source.
ü Thank the sender for giving you the feedback, even if you don’t like what was
said.
The way in which you receive feedback today will have a significant influence over the
frequency and type of feedback you get tomorrow. This is especially true for
subordinates. They will learn quickly how open you are to constructive criticism. If you
want to hear their opinions and perceptions, then you need to create an atmosphere in
the office that is conducive to their giving you feed-back.
MANAGING UP AND ACROSS:
Managerial leadership is inherently multidimensional. As a manager in the middle of an
organization, in addition to the obvious leadership challenges associated with managing
others, there are also challenges of interacting with the executives above and peers
across the company. Expressing the importance of establishing a positive working
relationship with your manager is not overstating the obvious. Here are some of the tips I
have learned from others as well as from my own experiences:
v Gain congruence over what you are to accomplish.
v Communicate, communicate, and communicate.
v Tailor your communication to suit your manager’s style.
v Learn how your manager is being managed.v Solicit informal feedback.
v Be sure to bring bad news to the boss.
v Bring a solution.
v Do not speak ill of your colleagues.
v Be positive.
v Be careful.
v Maintain your perspective.
Of all the managerial directions, the horizontal (or perhaps diagonal) linkages are the
ones that are most often ignored. You have to attend to managing your people (down),
and at some point you learn that you should try to manage the relationship with your boss
(up). So, with everything you must attend to, why should you worry about your
relationships across the enterprise at the peer or colleague level?
Answer: Because, increasingly, you have to build your internal network in order to be
effective in performing your responsibilities. And it is in the best interest of your
organization that these relationships and informal communication pathways get
developed.
MANAGING ACROSS BORDERS AND CULTURES:
It is not unusual for a manager who is southern, working with a company headquartered
in the northeast. If we have this level of difficulty domestically with regard to cross-cultural
interactions, imagine what challenges are present for companies that operate across
borders and continents. There are many ways to look at cultural differences in an
organizational context. The individual’s orientation to the world is an important
component in determining how that person will view other cultures. In my work with
transnational organizations, I have found other factors that are worth considering in
analyzing cultural differences. These include:
· People’s relationship with nature.
· Assumptions of humans being inherently good or evil.
· Temporal orientation: past, present and future.
· Personal and family relationships
· Spatial orientation: physical closeness and the need for privacy.
Cross-cultural sensitivity is a critical quality for managerial leadership today. There are
seven “mental disciplines” that are important in the development of geocentric
managers – those individuals who can work effectively across cultures in a global
context. These disciplines apply equally as well to managing diversity in domestic
settings:
Ø Observe without judgment.
Ø Tolerate ambiguity.
Ø Practice style shifting.
Ø Flip your perception.
Ø Reprogram your questions.
Ø Work interdependently.
Ø Keep mental stability and growth.
PUTTING YOUR PLAN INTO ACTION:My congratulations to you, as you must be somewhat motivated to make some
behavioral changes in order to enhance your leadership effectiveness. You undoubtedly
realize that no matter how skilled you are currently, your leadership practices can always
be improved and refined. Perhaps you began, as many others do, by asking yourself
these three questions:
q Can you do it?
q Will you do it?
q Is it worth it?
The critical question to ask is “how” to affect a positive change in your leadership
practices. Most of us need some structure in taking on a challenge as important as this
one. It is simpler to work from a good model than to create our own. The 10-step
approach described below is the most common framework I use in working with
managers on their leadership development plans. It is offered as a way for you to get
started. Adapt it to fit your needs and your style.
1. The first, and most important, step is to make the commitment to move forward in
developing your leadership effectiveness.
2. Remember to carefully consider your current situational context.
3. Collect some data on how others perceive your leadership effectiveness, and be
sure to include tools that provide the opportunity for self-assessment.
4. Draw upon the resources available to you within your organization.
5. Identify your leadership strengths.
6. Determine the areas in which there are major differences in opinion about your
leadership practices.
7. Create your development action plan by identifying two to three areas for
improvement initially.
8. In identifying these developmental areas, visualize the new behaviors you will
exhibit when you are successful.
9. Go public with your action plan.
10.Keep your action plan alive.
Remember that this is a journey – one that will last a lifetime.

BEAUTIFUL MIND


BEAUTIFUL MIND


How to have a beautiful mind comprises of topics such as:
· How To Agree
· How To Disagree
· How To Differ
· How To Be Interesting
· How To Respond
· How To Listen
· Questions
· Parallel Thinking
· Concepts
· Alternatives
· Emotions And Feelings
· Values
· Diversions And Off-Course
· Information And Knowledge
· Opinion
· Interruption
· Attitude
· Starting and Topics
· ConclusionWhat is beauty? Beauty is something that can be appreciated by others. The
beautiful mind described in this book is a mind that can be appreciated by others.
It is not the mind of a person who sits in a corner and solves very complex
puzzles. It is a mind that can be appreciated by others, usually through
conversation.
The beauty of your mind shows in our conversation. Just as people can look at
our physical beauty they can listen to the beauty of our mind. If we want to make
our mind more beautiful we can. It is only by how we use our mind.
How To Agree
Agree or not agree are one of the most important aspects of any discussion. One
should genuinely seek to find points of agreement in what the other person is
saying. There is no contribution if you simply agree with everything.
There are times when we disagree at every point, which is irritating and boring.
One should remove the ego from discussion and should focus on subject matter.
We should take a genuine delight in discovering point of agreement-even when
there is small disagreement. By changing the perception to look at things in a
different way is an important step in reaching possible agreement.
How to Disagree
There are different ways to disagree, one should not disagree for the sake of
disagreeing. We should not disagree just to show how clever we are or to boost our
ego. When we disagree, we should do so politely and gently rather than rudely and
aggressively.
One may need to point out errors of logic or to show that a conclusion does not
necessarily follow from what went before. Where emotions, prejudices and
stereotypes appear to be used, one should indicate these also.
It is important to challenge ‘certainty’ and to suggest ‘possibility’ instead.
Distinguishing between having a different opinion and disagreeing with an opinion
is very important.
How to Differ
There are times when only one of a different set of opinions can be right. This is
where ‘truth’ can be checked out. More often different opinions can all have their
own validity. Difference may arise from personal preference, taste or choice.
Difference may arise from different set of values, views and perspective.
Difference may arise from different perception even if from same point of view.
Difference may arise from different personal experience or differing knowledge. We
should seek to lay out as clearly as possible the nature of the difference and lay one
opinion alongside the different one.We should seek to explore and explain the reasons for the difference, and should
reconcile the differences and then agree to differ on what cannot be reconciled.
How to be Interesting
It is always important to get to the truth, but being interesting is more important than
winning an argument. You owe it to yourself and to others to be interesting. Interest
can also arise from how you conduct a conversation.
Looking out for possibilities and alternatives enriches the conversation.
By using a formal tool ‘Now that is interesting’. Be ready to apply this to anything
we hear. When someone else opens up an interesting line of thought, go along with
it and help to develop the interest further.
How To Respond
The overall objective in any conversation might be to agree, to disagree, to agree on
the difference- and to have an enjoyable and interesting discussion.
If we are in any doubt about what has been said, it is important to ask for
clarification. Misunderstanding and arguing at cross-purposes are a waste of time
and energy.
One may want to modify an idea to make it more acceptable to himself, stronger or
more practical. Once an idea has emerged it is no longer a matter of ‘your idea’ or
‘my idea’ but an idea to be improved and assessed. Instead of the usual ‘battle’ of
argument there should be joint effort to explore the subject.
How to Listen
The ability to listen and the enjoyment of listening is a key part of developing a
beautiful mind. A good listener pays attention and seeks to get the maximum value
from what is being said. There may be new insights and realizations that are
triggered by the speaker.
We may realize other alternative perceptions and learn the reasoning’s behind a
point of view.
One should use questions to check on facts and to ask for more details around point
of interest.
Questions
Questions are a key means of interaction in any conversation or discussion. A
listener should seek to mask questions. A question is a way of ‘direct attention’ to
some matter. A question is a polite way of demanding something.
Parallel ThinkingIn traditional argument each side prepares a case and then seeks to defend that case
and to attack the other case. Actual exploration of the subject is limited. Parallel
thinking replaces the battle of argument with a joint exploration of the subject as all
parties think in parallel at any moment.
Concepts
Concepts are a very important part of thinking and a key component of a beautiful
mind. Concepts are important in generating ideas and designing ways forward.
Where there is no routine available, concepts are essential.
Alternatives
Looking for alternatives is a very important activity of a beautiful mind. Without
alternatives we have rigidity and complacency. There can be alternative perceptions
or ways of looking at something. These can lead to different judgments or actions.
Thee can be alternative set of values determined by experience, culture and
personality.
Emotion and Feeling
Emotions and feelings are a very important part of thinking. Ultimately, choices and
decisions are based on emotions and feelings. In a very serious discussion you may
want to listen first, and ask questions, before showing your feeling. In a controversy
one should show his true position: one side or the other, or above it all.
Values
Values determine what we like or do not like, value determine our choices and
decisions. Fundamental (core) values are not changed by the circumstances. The
priority of other values is determined by the circumstances. There are different types
of values such as Ecology value, quality value, innovation value, negative values
etc.
Diversions and Off-Course
Humor is a very important ingredient and a key feature of the beautiful the mind.
Humor allows speculation and enables things to be put forward as half serious and
half humorous. Humor permits exaggeration and absurdity to make a serious point.
Conversation and discussion should be as enjoyable for the mind as sport is for the
body.
Information and KnowledgeWe do not need full and complete information about a subject in order to discuss
that subject. If the other person has more information than you do, listen
intelligently and ask questions. One can also pick out some point of interest and
have a two-way conversation around that particular point.
Opinion
An opinion arises from information, values, feelings and experiences put together in
a local culture. Opinions are based on a point of view, which is the set of
circumstances in which one is placed. An opinion may be changed by new
information. A beautiful mind is always ready to change opinions. This is a
characteristic of a beautiful mind.
Interruption
Interruptions are generally rude and break the flow of what is being said. So there
needs to be a very good reason for the interruption. One can interrupt to express
doubt. Interruptions are often ‘ego-driven’. Someone wants to be noticed or feel
important. Someone wants to show he or she is smarter than the speaker.
Attitude
Attitude is very much related to self- image. There is the ‘clever’ person who has to
be right and more clever than anyone else. There is the battle attitude of win-lose.
There is the ego power game where domination is the intention. The fun attitude
sees conversation as entertainment.
Starting and Topics
Greetings, the exchanges of personal news and social chitchat in general have a very
important role in themselves. When this has been done there is a need to move on
with a conversation. There may be current local topics known to everyone in the
community. A really skilled conversationalist can create interest from any topic
whatsoever.
Conclusion
Beautiful mind is one of the qualities that make us successful in every sphere of life.
A beautiful body and a beautiful face without a beautiful mind can be boring. A
beautiful mind without a beautiful body or a beautiful face can still be attractive.
Hence we should try to develop skills and sincerely work to make our mind
beautiful. As sports are enjoyable we should also enjoy each discussion and
conversation, and that is possible only through a Beautiful Mind.