HOW TO MANAGE YOURSELF
Managing yourself is often more difficult than it seems. Other people, events and
things seem to take control, exert influence or interfere with our lives. This book tells
how to deal inside ourselves with the daily conflicts of every day life, handle criticism
and thought developing body language.
1. Motivating Yourself :
If you can understand how to get motivated, you can use those good feelings to help
live your life as you wish :
◾ Try to keep assessing situations, to make sure your behaviour is appropriate
◾ Try to be reasonable and realistic
◾ Try to talk to people in their own terms
◾ Be aware that other people's motivations are not always the same as your own.
2. Praising & Criticising
Most of us like to be praised and hate to be criticised.
◾ Give criticism and compliments promptly - both are reduced in their impact if they
take place too long after the event.
◾ Criticise properly bad criticism leads to arguments and emotional responses
◾ Do not personalise either when giving or when receiving criticism
◾ Be gracious about giving and receiving compliments.
◾ Choose your reaction to criticism - do not get caught up in reacting instantly, think
and choose how you want to react.
3. Handling thoughts and feelings
◾ Separate how you feel from what you think. Events do not cause feelings, they
can be thought which in turn cause feelings.
◾ Don't practice negative feelings - it can make you ill and cause more problem than
expressing them.
◾ Practice negative feelings assertion to tell people how you feel by using your words
and not your behaviour.
◾ Avoid dwelling on what happened.
4. Understanding behaviour and assertiveness
This book is about what you can do to make things happen. What you can not do is
change other people.
◾ Understand what assertiveness is and do not confuse it with aggression.
◾ Respect both your own rights and those of others
◾ Practice assertive behaviour, which may impact on your emotions, making you
feel more assertive as a result.
◾ Respond, do not react. Do not be afraid of time. You are entitled to time to think
about things before responding.
5. Handling aggression
◾ Aggression is not a pleasant behaviour
◾ It is any behaviour with a view point of `I am better than' or 'You are less than'
◾ Be aware that aggression may make you feel good in the short term but is never
good for you in the long term.
6. Dealing with passivity
◾ Remember that passive person feels `less than' others. Encourage them to
develop confidence.
§ Be aware that passivity only brings a temporary relief from an unpleasant
situation. The long term effects are still unpleasant.
◾ Always be assertive and do not be tempted to get aggressive or frustrated with
passive people.
7. Speaking without words
◾ Learn to identify the body language signs of aggressive and passive behaviour.
◾ Try to remember that these signs tend to make us react. They are the manner
rather than content.
◾ Try to choose your responses based on the contents of the message but allowing
for the manner.
8. Listening
◾ Listen actively
◾ Avoid things that prevent you listening properly and try to improve your listening
◾ Ask questions properly to ensure you have understood.
9. Negotiating and Handling Change
§ Check your own stand before negotiating. You will communicate
better if you know what you are trying to achieve.
§ Look for areas of common ground to build on. This makes reaching an
agreement much more likely.
§ Try to reach an agreement that is mutually acceptable.
10. Staying Confident
Confidence is a feeling of being capable to cope.
◾ Choose when to deal with an issue.
◾ When dealing with a problem, remember it is always your problem. You can not
change others. So you need to look at yourself and see how you can cope with
others.
If you think about the principles, techniques and information detailed above, you
should be well on the way to being able to manage your own emotions, reactions and
behaviour.
Managing yourself is often more difficult than it seems. Other people, events and
things seem to take control, exert influence or interfere with our lives. This book tells
how to deal inside ourselves with the daily conflicts of every day life, handle criticism
and thought developing body language.
1. Motivating Yourself :
If you can understand how to get motivated, you can use those good feelings to help
live your life as you wish :
◾ Try to keep assessing situations, to make sure your behaviour is appropriate
◾ Try to be reasonable and realistic
◾ Try to talk to people in their own terms
◾ Be aware that other people's motivations are not always the same as your own.
2. Praising & Criticising
Most of us like to be praised and hate to be criticised.
◾ Give criticism and compliments promptly - both are reduced in their impact if they
take place too long after the event.
◾ Criticise properly bad criticism leads to arguments and emotional responses
◾ Do not personalise either when giving or when receiving criticism
◾ Be gracious about giving and receiving compliments.
◾ Choose your reaction to criticism - do not get caught up in reacting instantly, think
and choose how you want to react.
3. Handling thoughts and feelings
◾ Separate how you feel from what you think. Events do not cause feelings, they
can be thought which in turn cause feelings.
◾ Don't practice negative feelings - it can make you ill and cause more problem than
expressing them.
◾ Practice negative feelings assertion to tell people how you feel by using your words
and not your behaviour.
◾ Avoid dwelling on what happened.
4. Understanding behaviour and assertiveness
This book is about what you can do to make things happen. What you can not do is
change other people.
◾ Understand what assertiveness is and do not confuse it with aggression.
◾ Respect both your own rights and those of others
◾ Practice assertive behaviour, which may impact on your emotions, making you
feel more assertive as a result.
◾ Respond, do not react. Do not be afraid of time. You are entitled to time to think
about things before responding.
5. Handling aggression
◾ Aggression is not a pleasant behaviour
◾ It is any behaviour with a view point of `I am better than' or 'You are less than'
◾ Be aware that aggression may make you feel good in the short term but is never
good for you in the long term.
6. Dealing with passivity
◾ Remember that passive person feels `less than' others. Encourage them to
develop confidence.
§ Be aware that passivity only brings a temporary relief from an unpleasant
situation. The long term effects are still unpleasant.
◾ Always be assertive and do not be tempted to get aggressive or frustrated with
passive people.
7. Speaking without words
◾ Learn to identify the body language signs of aggressive and passive behaviour.
◾ Try to remember that these signs tend to make us react. They are the manner
rather than content.
◾ Try to choose your responses based on the contents of the message but allowing
for the manner.
8. Listening
◾ Listen actively
◾ Avoid things that prevent you listening properly and try to improve your listening
◾ Ask questions properly to ensure you have understood.
9. Negotiating and Handling Change
§ Check your own stand before negotiating. You will communicate
better if you know what you are trying to achieve.
§ Look for areas of common ground to build on. This makes reaching an
agreement much more likely.
§ Try to reach an agreement that is mutually acceptable.
10. Staying Confident
Confidence is a feeling of being capable to cope.
◾ Choose when to deal with an issue.
◾ When dealing with a problem, remember it is always your problem. You can not
change others. So you need to look at yourself and see how you can cope with
others.
If you think about the principles, techniques and information detailed above, you
should be well on the way to being able to manage your own emotions, reactions and
behaviour.
Excellent,keep it up. Thanks
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