HOW TO WIN IN LIFE
GIVE OTHERS WHAT THEY WANT
AND THEY WILL GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT IN RETURN –The key word is ‘First’ – ‘If
you win then I win’ should be central theme. Courtesy, Praise, empathy, goodwill ,respect :
we have all these in unlimited quantity to give
but sometimes are miser to use them
MOTIVATION- ‘the central idea’ : According to Maslow, the famous heirarchy of human wants and needs consists of five basic
categories – Physiological needs, Safety needs,Social needs ,Ego needs and Self
actualisation needs.Maslow points out that satisfaction of these needs is not ,by itself . Motivation has long been
recognised as vital to fulfillment of human potential. Motivation is the
person’s inner drive and desire to obtain the next higher satisfaction..The ability to influence others and exercise personal power
effectively both contribute to individual self esteem .
Individuals must
first learn how to motivate themselves before they think
of to motivating others There is
approach to the motivation and achievement through successful human relations in
a unique and practical way .It is done with the knowledge that most people
function in mainly three areas of life :
·
Their home environment
·
Their social
environment
·
Their work environment
. Ann Rand commented in one of his book
“We are born unarmed. Our mind is our only weapon” We have unlimited
potential if we only find a way to unlock the power that lies dormant in each
one of us. Benjamin Franklin himself himself promoted this philosophy with his
claim – “There is no problem that can not be solved with a pad of paper , a pen and little
imagination.”
What most people do not realise
is that these innate and awesome mental powers are already in each one of us .By
having faith in our capabilities , we can come up with solutions to life’s
everyday problems by using our own ability to think
Ten principals of
motivation :
1.
Positive self image
2.
Positive mental
attitude
3.
A
Possibility thinking
4.
A
Positive perception of external events
5.
Positive assertive
behaviour
6.
Personal
commitment
7.
Effective one to one
encounter skills
8.
Unquestionable belief in
self
9.
Creative use of subconscious
mind
10.
Intense sincere desire to
succeed
The catalytic integration of these
powerful thoughts and feelings in the form of specific activities has been
called process plus
synergetic effect .
Conceptually the ability to succeed in life (S) is directly proportional to
one’s natural inborn potential for success (P) multiplied by one’s personal
motivation factor (M). In other words , the degree of
success one achieves in a particular pursuit primarily depends on the amount of
personal motivation one acquires . All high achievers have a high degree of
self motivation .All the ten ingredients are necessary in order to achieve true
success.
A successful organization is
one that gets extraordinary effort out of ordinary people .A high level
motivation in turn produces a high level performance .People are motivated to
act in their own self interest and growth.
POSITIVE & ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOUR The term positive and assertive are
complementary to each other. Positive implies affirmation and assertive implies
active declaration . Assertion is simply the action of
declaring yourself to others. You make things happen when you act rather than
simply react. Positive-assertive behaviour is evident in open
,direct and honest personal communication.
Your ego needs are your rewards
:Both people and organization can win ego
related rewards as a result of successful human relations .The way people
exercise personal power in their lives
is highly personal matter . Generally personality is the outside world’s
summary view of the way a particular person uses his personal power to think ,act, and achieve his goals in life. This leads to a
natural cause and effect relationship as follows :
When you change your
thinking
You change your beliefs
When you change your
beliefs
You change your
expectations
When you change
your
expectations
You
change your attitude
You change your behaviour
When You change your behaviour
You change your performance
When you change your performance
You change
your
life
Success and happiness are
dependent on your relationship with other people .Human relations is the art of
dealing with people in such a way that everyone wins .Your self image is an
integral part of your personality .The way you think about yourself is very much
dependent on your ability to exercise personal power successfully in your life
.Self image can unleash the strongest
force within you –the creative powers of your subconscious mind .Because your
behaviour is consistent with your self image , other people see you according to
your own perceptions of yourself .
Utilisation of Brain power :Albert Einstein ,who possessed one of the
greatest minds of all times estimated that man uses only about two-tenths of
one percent of his intellectual capacity .This should be no surprise when we
realize people spend 99.9% of their time thinking what they did
yesterday .The key
to stimulating creative thought is to learn allow the subconscious mind to
‘let go’ thus permitting creative ideas and concepts come up to conscious
level. Relaxation techniques such as imaging and meditation are necessary to
facilitate this incredible effect .
Appropriate behaviour , rational thinking and
proper use of your ‘personal computer’ (your brain) will help in reducing
stress in the life .There are some tips that can help in stimulating one’s original thinking :
o
Once decision is made, do not ever look back.
Worry about decisions only before you make
them
o
Concentrate on one problem
at a time in order of priority. Don’t jam up your
circuits.
o
Live for the moment and
concentrate on the problems in the present .
o
Be a good listener. Maintain
eye contact at all times to increase effectiveness. Be alert
and attentive to grasp the essence of what others say in terms of verbal
and body language
o
Don’t set up mental
roadblocks. Practise keeping an open mind without jumping to a biased
conclusion.
o
Everything takes its own
time. Don’t expect instant
results.
BE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF : Happiness results when one learns to
respond positively to everyday events
and circumstances in the life. Happiness is simply having pleasant thoughts. It is an acquired
attitude of the mind. If you think about it ,you will
realize that happiness is really a choice available with us all. Practiced as
a daily habit ,
it enables a person to rise above the petty problems of everyday life ,freeing
valuable time and energy for more important activities of
life.
GREATEST DEFEAT BE THE REASON
FOR THE GREATEST SUCCESS :The attitude of the person who loses determines how
long will it take to win again. Many people take several years to fully recover
from a major defeat without realizing that rational thought and clear thinking
could have greatly assisted in viewing the event in a different light .No
feeling or emotion , positive or negative can be
directly controlled by will power alone. There is hope for everyone ! If you don’t appear to be heading towards where
you want to go in life all is not lost. You need only program your subconscious
mind with artificial winning experiences as effectively as real life experiences
.Use your own resources, imagination, and knowledge in this assertive and
purposeful way and confer success on yourself instead of waiting for
circumstances and environment to take
care of you.
SUCCESSFUL GOAL SETTING One should
keep in mind the simple PROBE when formulating personal goals . Choose
goals that are
:
P –Practical
R- Reasonable
O- Obtainable
B –
Big
E –
Exciting
The commitment to an idea or
goal facilitates concentration of attention and effort .Goal formulation is
applicable to both your personal life and professional career
.
DO COMMON THINGS UNCOMMONLY WELL : If one knows to do the following common
things uncommonly well ,there is no limit to what one can accomplish in life
:
1.
Have faith that you have
within you the necessary personality traits , qualities ,and abilities that are
consistent with ‘winning needs’
2.
Perceive yourself and
external events in such a way that they make you a more effective
person.
3.
Learn and apply creative
imaging techniques to input appropriate artificial experiences in to your subconscious mind
4.
Exchange needs and rewards
in one to one
encounters fairly and evenly
.
5.
Learn to use your
subconscious mind in the present to cope with present problems
.
THE POWER OF YOUR
PERSONALITY
People who want to be effective in life need
to have effective personalities. The personality is the vehicle through which
you exercise your personal power display your individuality. There are certain
steps that are necessary for people to
change from what they are to what they want to be . A Chinese maxim says that a walk of
thousand miles begins with a single step. The first step in the personal
development is increased awareness accompanied by an open mind .The second step
is understanding . The third step is the commitment and
practice through repeated application . There are following attributes of a
total winner :
o
The first attribute of a total
winner is his willingness to accept full responsibility for his past , present
and his future .
o
The second attribute is
attitude of optimism and positive expectation .He expects the best in life sees
good even in bad .Optimists are simply people who have learned how to discipline their
attitudes .It is an acquired mental skill .
o
The third attribute is the
intense , stimulating ,positive motivation and an ability to motivate others Motivation
is literally motive-in- action ; it is an emotion directed towards self
fulfillment .
o
Positive – assertive
behaviour is the next attribute .Positive implies constructive affirmation and
assertive implies active declaration .A winner is more a creator of his
circumstances than a victim of them .Such behaviour is evident in personal
communication that is open , direct and honest .
o
A
total winner is also a good
communicator .He accepts
one hundred percent of his responsibility for both sending and receiving messages .He
realizes that if his ego needs are to be satisfied , he first has to satisfy the
other person’s need in the process.
o
A
total winner has abundant faith – in oneself, in others, in his organization , in his country ,and in God .Faith is the force
of life .Abraham Lincoln
o
A
total winner can make a creative use of the subconscious mind
. A total winner has developed the ability to imagine his future .Of all
the creatures on earth , only human beings can imagine
their future and believe it can happen . A winner’s only competition is himself
and his own sense of excellence
.
o
Total commitment and
preseverence in seeking his goal is another attribute of a total winner .A
winner formulates a game plan for his life and sticks to it
.
o
A
total winner has the ability to change and adapt to new situations and challenges . He concentrates on rewards and desire of success
rather than fear of failures.
o
The final attribute of a
total winner is
his effective use of all
the above personality traits that when combined produce a synergetic effect
.
All of yesterday’s impossibilities are only
today’s realities, and any present impossibility is only the tip towards the progress.
A winner cultivates the fertile field of his mind and sows the seeds of success .He
spreads his net wide open and deep in the abundant seas and catches his
bountiful rewards. A winner accepts his life as an experience that needs to be
lived to the fullest. We can think the history and recall people who have changed the world and made it
a better place to live in .This is the challenge we all
face
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