GET UP AND DO IT

GET UP AND DO IT

 Before you begin to work on your goal you need to do some groundwork.  It is crucial for you to understand the task ahead.  You need to be wiling to give yourself the best chance to achieve what you want.

WHY WE RESIST CHANGE

All human being find change difficult at some level.  The degree may vary but our reactions are similar.  There can be fear, resistance or anger or feelings of powerlessness and loss of control.  Life, however, is about change.  Birth and death are the big ones.  The 6 commandments of change are:

C      Commitment to change

H      Hard Work

A      Anchoring yourself

N      No negatives – but be realistic

G     Goals – be specific

E      Easy does it

Most goals require a degree of hard work and focus.  Some goals demand that you make changes, build new skills and take up challenges.

IDENTIFYING YOUR GOAL

This probably sounds very simple – and perhaps it is.  However, we want you to learn to be very specific and clear about your goal.

DEFINING PARAMETERS AND SETTING GOALPOSTS

What are the parameters so that he has a yardstick to monitor his progress.  This is such a key to maintaining motivation.  In the business world you often hear people using the expression being SMART.  SMART is an acronym for:

        SPECIFIC

        MEASURABLE

        AMBITIOUS

        REALISTIC

        TIMED

OWNING YOUR GOAL

Owning your goal is a key ingredient in “Getting up and doing it”.  If you don’t identify your goal clearly and concisely and say to yourself then you never have the ownership that can be incredibly motivating.  In a study at Harvard University Business School, graduates were asked the following question: “How many of you have clear, written goals and have made a plan to accomplish them when you leave Harvard?”

3% had written their goals down

13% had unwritten goals

84% had no goals at all

GETTING MOTIVATED

Motivation is a key ingredient in working on and achieving your goals.  Think of it as an energy and power source – without it you will run of steam and find that you just lack that vital spark to keep going.  As you work on improving and enhancing your energy sources, you must learn to be protective of them.

FIGHTING FEAR

Think how your thoughts drive your feelings.  This means that you must be aware of hurdles to positive thought at all times, a major one being fear, which can step in and push you off track.  You need to be protective of your motivation and you need to feed it, not deplete it. FEAR is an acronym for “FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL”.  To increase and generate motivation, it is also important for you to understand the decision-making process.

BEING AWARE OF SELF SABOTAGE

There are lots of different ways, you can sabotage yourself and the awful thing is that sometimes it won’t even feel as though you’re doing it.  You need to start noticing because it can come from anywhere, such as inside; you or sometimes from other people and it can be very well disguised.

HOW OTHER PEOPLE CAN SABOTAGE YOU

Remember that not everybody around you will want you to change as a result of your goal.  Other people can feel threatened when you start to make changes.  Perhaps you are doing something that they would love to do but they cannot or maybe they feel that you will change and become different towards them.

REMOVING NEGATIVE BLOCKS

One of the first things that you need to do, is gain a greater sense of awareness and a most effective way of doing this is for you to make a list of the ways you block yourself from doing different things.

THE WHOLE-PERSON CONCEPT

It is very easy to settle into a negative way of thinking, behaving and living.  It might affect and impact on other people, but they are likely to feel the benefits of you looking after yourself too.  Ask yourself, first of all, if you are making the most of yourself physically.  Your emotional health is all important to your wellbeing.  You should air for an ability to feel and express feelings and feel the highs and the lows but not be governed by them.  Your mental health is obviously very important but most people’s attitude to mental health are drastically different from their attitudes to physical health.  We are human and that means that we need to love and be loved.

MAKING A THOROUGH INVENTORY

Is your house in order?  Take your time to work on each section.  Think hard about each question, because you may well miss out on something that will be a key issue in terms of your success or failure with your goal. How is your home life in more practical terms?  Are there current pressures at home that are creating problems for you?  If you are working, how would you describe your skills?  How you would describe your grey areas?   Do you feel reasonably fulfilled?  Or are you frustrated and feeling a lack of achievement in your life? It is important to think about your principles.  Principles are your standards and rules in terms of personal conduct.   Yours needs are fundamental and therefore cannot be ignored or escaped.

NEGATIVE BLUEPRINTS

Perhaps you come from a family that gives some strong negative messages.  You may have been exposed to a blueprint that teaches you that something is not worth trying because it won’t happen.  Let us take you through some negative messages that people give themselves when they are contemplating a goal:

Ø    ‘I’ll never do it

Ø    ‘I always fail’

Ø    ‘People like me don’t achieve’

Ø    ‘I’m afraid of failing

Ø    ‘I slip back’

USE POSITIVE SELF-TALK AND ‘KEEP IT IN THE DAY’

Positive self-talk promotes ‘can do’ frame of mind.  Start saying things like,

Ø    ‘I can do it.’

Ø    I am going to do this

Ø    I am going to succeed

Ø    I deserve this

Ø    I am good enough

Ø    Nothing is going to stop me

WHAT DO WE MEAN BY AFFIRMING YOURSELF?

Self-affirmation is a statement that comes from you.  If you start to affirm yourself, the chances of success in your goal will be high.  For example, you could tell yourself that: you are going to achieve your goals.  Think back to the number of times you have told yourself: I can’t do that.  I wouldn’t be good enough to do that etc.  Affirmation is a commitment to you and you alone. You are telling yourself that you are going to succeed.  Self – affirmation is easy because it’s so private and personal.  Personal success and achieving personal goals is based upon how important you are to yourself.

STAYING FOCUSSED THROUGH BEING MOTIVATED

Using micro-goals can build motivation and keep it going.  As a result of being motivated, it is easier to stay focused and you are propelled towards finishing and achieving your goal.

DON’T BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP

If you are learning a new skill or building on an existing skill, think about getting some tuition to give you the best possible start.  If you are reluctant to seek the help of a teacher or trainer, ask yourself why.

BUILDING SELF-BELIEF

Remember in terms of focusing and finishing that you have to work hard on believing you are going to achieve your goal.  It might be a small goal, or it might be something much bigger and grander – you yourself have to believe that you can do it.

YOU DO HAVE THE TIME – DON’T LOSE FOCUS

If we wait until we have time, we probably will be retiring – and even then there might not be enough time.  Some of you really will find there is no time to add anything else to your life.  No one has said that a goal has to be achieved in the fastest time possible.  Remember that one of the SMART skills is about being realistic, so give yourself permission to take the time you need – if you can only steal small bits of time, so be it.  If you are determined, you will do it.

Creativity @ work

Creativity has the following ingredients:



Ø      Imagination-not literal, linear thought.

Ø      Exploration.

Ø      Openness.

Ø      Willingness to drop prejudice and conventional wisdom.

Ø      Broad goals in mind.

Ø      Heuristics.

Ø      Humour.



Why creativity?



Ø      The need for totally new, daring and as yet untried solution for the problems that face the world.

Ø      In an interconnected world, we must seek joint solutions that are inclusive.



Creativity in practice:



·        Breaking away from routine

·        Being experimental-nothing ventured, nothing gained.

·        Asking challenging questions-questioning the trodden path.

·        Force of serendipity-aimless looking.

·        Seeking hidden connections.

·        New ways of seeing.

·        Asking patently absurd questions.

·        Reverse brainstorming (counter-intuitive methods).

·        What/where/when is NOT the problem? (As opposed to situation analysis and problem definition).

·        Seeing the whole and the part.

·        Thinking in pictures-diagramming-mind mapping

·        Thinking around the subject, not just on it.

·        Thinking afresh and in depth.

·        Relationship diagrams

·        Logical diagrams

·        Force field diagrams

·        Soft systems method (stresses on learning about rather than solving problems; debating rather than ignoring conflicts in values and expectations; and participating in the process rather than simply accepting it).

·        Networks everywhere.



Action learning and a sense of discovery:



The essential spirit of creative eye is freshness of discovery as opposed to invention. One must approach anything with ‘willing suspension of disbelief’; shed all filters. Truth is not a concept. If we cling to our concepts, we lose reality. It is necessary to kill our concepts so that reality can present itself.



Dialogue: The art of thinking together.



A centre without sides: Dialogue is a flow of meaning; a conversation that has a centre but no sides. All revolutionary and peaceful change such as the fall of the Berlin Wall, the end of apartheid or the truce efforts in Ireland arose out of a deep and meaningful conversation that began with neither prejudice nor seeking winners and losers. Parties are not the focus but the issue is.



At the heart of good dialogue is a simple but profound instrument-the capacity to listen.



Listening holds the key:



Managing and living creatively is all about preparedness of the mind. The new can never flow from a disturbed mind. An absence or at least temporary abatement of acute sense of the ego is called for. Until we realize this connection between the state of mind and the challenge of thinking differently and seeing fresh, we shall merely be floundering in a sea of prescriptive tricks and techniques.



We need to bring attention to the surface, which alone makes discovery possible. This leads to a new kind of learning, with emergence of a fresh set of solutions or at least a new perspective on familiar organizational problems. Another good outcome of listening so completely is the improvement in inter-personal relationships with colleagues and neighbours.



Creative Living:



Speed kills!



The negative fall-out of speed such as major errors, health breakdowns and loss of self-esteem amongst those who cannot match the pace-all these represent a waste of most valuable asset, which is the human being, the person.



The very need for speed of thought has to be questioned. Making management decisions is not simply about speed. It takes months to make the truly important decisions, including rounds of hierarchy and committees.



The tendency to associate any question or challenge thrown at us with fast, quick-fire responses is very risky.



“The effective executive does not make too many decisions. He makes the important ones.”-Peter Drucker.



Thinking fresh on any subject requires a mind that is not cluttered or under pressure. Since speed is almost always spurred by competition, ambition and anxiety to succeed, it is extremely difficult to come upon the truly creative idea under pressure. On the other hand, the total cycle time of getting an important task done can be better distributed, as the Japanese are known to do, by spending a little more time living with the problem, absorbing the situation and making up for it in swift execution.







Scenario Building:



A manager must find a way to look at the future that is realistic yet visionary at the same time.



While one part of this approach is similar to brainstorming, the other is like story telling or writing a script for a film. We use our imagination as to what alternatives may unfold, given some key developments in the next 20 years. It is the way of considering possible alternative futures and not about a single point forecast.



The objective of the exercise is not about precision and accuracy, but about mental preparedness and creating the scope for a wide-ranging search for alternatives.



Roots of creativity:



Is there such a thing as a creative personality? Personality theories or models are metaphors to describe something that is intrinsically indescribable-the human personality. Personality tests are typically paper-and-pencil self-reports, which have been tested for validity and reliability. Testing is recommended to be only one of the instruments to be used for recruitment and assessment. As we always manage with and through people, understanding their individual differences helps us in all sorts of ways.



Creating the Energy: Pranayama and Yoga.



Time and energy are two things that all managers wish they had more of. Living and managing creatively demands that we be prepared to at least see things anew and try out a wider repertoire of responses. This implies afresh, energetic approach; from a healthy, free and fresh mind, and a new pair of eyes to see oneself and the outer world. Cultivating the body’s energies through the right kind of breathing is a boost to this process. Investment in time and efforts to practice the ‘life giving science’ of yoga ought to rightly be part of the corporate HR policy of company believing in the slogan ‘people are what make an organization’.



The Insightful and Meditative Walk:



For those interested in work as a facilitator of a group, either as a trainer or consultant, it may be worth trying to open the morning session with a meditative walk, after five minutes of meditative silence, if the location has a pleasant green surroundings. It works well when pondering over a major decision or issues. It can also be an excellent icebreaker to start a meeting.



Competition and Creativity in Practice:



Learn not to look for solutions outside the problem. In organizational matters, actors are part of the problem-and eventually of the solution! ‘Problem solvers’ are themselves part of the problem. Knowledge in the people field is limited.



Competition between organizations has to be redefined. Dog-eat-dog competition driven by organizational hubris and ego is detrimental to collective survival. Strategic alliances, competition, seamless organizations, virtual organizations and shared outsourced resources have become the new mantras.



Summation:



The object of this book is to edge you towards a more naturally authentic behaviour-not the socially sanctioned way. Being creative is to find one’s true nature and live in consonance with it-for, conflict within oneself divides the person artificially.



You are a part of the cosmic system; there is a scientific and rational basis to ‘go with the flow’ and let the wholeness operate through you. And yet, what prevents us from ‘letting go’ is fear. Fear, anxiety and prior assumptions act as a powerful screen against us seeing reality.



The search for certainties, the correct answer and precise formulae are the very antithesis of creative living.



Comments:



Creativity in action implies unconditional freedom; willingness to try new alternatives; not resisting. The higher we go in hierarchy, the expert self-image rebels against the very spirit of listening to juniors. As long as we are unwilling to suspend prior judgement, the door to creative living will remain shut against us.



The book has used the technique of mind map effectively, to stimulate associative and divergent thinking. The use of cartoons and charts also facilitate learning beyond the written and aimed at triggering the ‘Aha!’ reaction. We could use the lessons from this book to introspect and do soul-searching, be it individual or corporate. The book addressees issue of HR Department in particular and Management in general. As a Learning centre faculty, I derived immense pleasure as also utility in studying this book. I strongly recommend this book to be a part of our library.



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EVERYTHING I KNOW AT THE TOP I LEARNED AT THE BOTTOM

“A goal is a dream with a dead line”

Dexter Yager – a millionaire ‘many times over’ – is a frequent speaker on how to manage money to achieve financial success. His book “Everything I know at the top I learned at the bottom” is as much the whole story in a lime. Yager’s tips are on how to keep your momentum, importance of big league thinking and how you can prevent your dream from getting the best of you. You can learn valuable lessons for use in your career and your life.

The book has in all ten chapters apart from an introductory chapter named “You start at the bottom.” In this chapter the author writes that success isn’t a matter of getting lucky and he achieved success through hard work, risk taking and a dream that he had a long time ago and have cultivated through the years. He added that his success has been a life long process of learning, learning from others, learning from failures, learning by doing.  The author believes that there are no secrets to success. He simply shared his experience and included in this book tips and pieces of advice that might useful to all. They are not guaranteed formulae or recipes. They are just the basic ingredients. We have to put them in the bowl of our life and stir.

“An education is something a person gets for himself, not that which someone else gives or does to him”. Learning the principles of success depends on us and not on the author or on this book. We need to pursue the basic principles of success while we are at the bottom in order to know anything about the success at the top. The author wrote that success is something you dream of and them something you work for. He learnt a lesson when he was a kid and was in sixth grade, i.e. “If you have a dream, pursue it. Don’t let it go and don’t give it up without a fight.”

In the first chapter, “Decide what your Dream is”, the author stressed the need to have a dream to drive us to great heights of achievement in our life. Having a dream transports us out of the frustrations of the present into the possibilities of the future. Having a dream does three things. First, it gives us a future focus, second, it gives us energy and third, it keeps us from wasting our life – our talents, abilities and our creativity.

Many people don’t have great dreams and many people abandon their dreams early in life. They become ‘given ups’ instead of ‘grown ups’. When people don’t pursue a dream a little part of them dies inside. When people have dreams and nurture and develop them they become successful. It is that simple. So the author wrote, “You need a dream- a dream that will take your breath away. It is what can save you from meaninglessness. It is what can give you a happy, fulfilled life.

In chapter two, “Make a Plan”, the author shared his experience that most people are not comfortable with dreaming dreams. The problem is that for many people a dream seems impossible to achieve. According to him a dream should be larger than the life. It should seem impossible to achieve. It should be worth striving for. It should take your breath away. The author suggested a six step method of defining a goal.

1.   Write down your dreams

2.   Divide each dream into smaller, manageable, achievable units

3.   Create an action plan

4.   Identify the kind of man or woman you need to be to accomplish your goal

5.   Imagine yourself already having reached that goal

6.   Discover the goal behind the goal. What is your biggest goal right now? Picture it. Now imagine that this week you reached it. It’s done – you did it. Now that you have it, what is it doing for you? What result is it producing? When you identify that result, you will know the goal behind the goal.

In chapter three, “Overcome dream deflators”, the author wrote that there are all kinds of things in life that try to burst the bubble of our dreams. These are dream deflators and they are part of each one of us, behaviours that we have to fight to overcome. Otherwise these dream deflators will puncture our dreams every time. The author warned us about 7 serious dream deflators.

1.   The quick fix mentality - with this mentality our dream will never come true. This is the attitude that whispers, “Hurry up, you can’t wait, you can’t be patient, you don’t have time to work hard and pay your dues and you have to have everything right now.” If you want your dreams to work, the quick-fix mentality has got to go. If your goal is to become wealthy, don’t think it’s going to happen overnight. If you’re trying to become a great businessman, don’t aim to achieve success in a few months or a year. If you’re trying to become a great father and husband, don’t think that a few days of changed behaviour will turn around years of neglecting your wife and children. The quick fix mentality just won’t cut it.

2.   The trap of people pleasing – the author cautioned to avoid the trap of people pleasing. Some people don’t like your dreams. That’s ok; it’s your dream, not theirs.

3.   The manipulation of truth – first stop manipulating the truth with other people. You need the alliance of other people to help you reach your dreams and build your goals into success and reality. Second do not lie to yourself about the reality of your present situation.

4.   The firing of blame bullets – don’t blame others for your failures. First it takes energy away from your dreams. Secondly it alienates people you need to make your dream come true.

5.   Relationship poverty – many people fail to achieve their dreams because they have isolated themselves from other people. We need good relationships to help us grow, to enable us to see ourselves honestly and to give us encouragement.  So while you reach your dream, make sure that at least part of your dream involves your wife/husband, your children, your friends and also God. When you fail in relationships, you will fail in reaching your dream.

6.   Substance abuse – means dissipating or throwing away your energy on what doesn’t really matter. The author suggested to turn off TV, read great literature and religious books, fill life with other people, travel more, gain weight by following great causes and giving yourself to a tremendous purpose in your life.

7.   Tension intolerance – according to a study done on high achievers it was discovered that winners can tolerate tension in their lives while they are building their dream. That’s why tension intolerance is a dream deflator, because while you are building for the dream, you hurt – with impatience, frustration and rejection. Don’t let dream deflators let air out of your dream.

In the next chapter, “Build on the right foundation” the author mentioned five things that are very important in building our dream.

1.   You have to build belief in yourself – if you don’t think you are worth something, who else is going to think you are worth it? Gaze into the mirror, look yourself in the eye and say, “I believe in you” Make a list of things you see in successful people you admire and try to adopt and change. Fill your life with positive images and thoughts. Surround yourself with the right people. RSP – Reverse Success Pyramid – build your dream on the foundation of small successes. Stop listening to your failures, begin listening to your successes, and build a healthy belief in yourself.

2.   You have to make sure you have a clean dream – a clean dream is a dream that isn’t mixed with something God condemns. You want a dream that helps people, honors God and is morally sound.

3.   You need dream energy – great dreamers and great achievers take frustration and negative energy and turn them into positive energy.

4.   You need dream determination – you will reach your goal when your position and desire become so strong as to rise out of your body like a steam. The author quoted, “Some men succeed because they are destined to, but most men succeed because they are determined to”.

5.   You need to pay the price – the technique is: A-B-GO. That means right now you are at point A, and you want to get to point B. Decide how to get there and go. A-B-GO. Whenever you get stuck or lazy or frustrated, you are going to whisper to yourself: A (that’s going to remind you where you are) –B (that’s going to remind you where you’re going) – GO (that’s going to remind you what you have to do to get there). It’s simple but effective. Try it!

In the fifth chapter, “Keep your momentum”, the author wrote that success is the progressive realization of a worthwhile dream. Success always starts with a dream that seems impossible, but when that dream is pursued and worked at, over time it gradually comes true. Success takes time. It also takes effort and perseverance. Once you get your dream going, you have to maintain its momentum. You can’t afford to stop along the way. The author gave the following suggestions to maintain the dream.

1.   Learn from the best – identify those people around you who are experts in an area, and humble yourself enough to seek their advice.

2.   Strive for excellence, not perfection – perfectionism is a tempting parking place on the road to success.

3.   Touch your dream everyday – spend more time touching your dream so you won’t forget and so the inner fire never burns out

4.   Turn rejections into resources – don’t let negative comments sidetrack you from your dream. Turn rejections into resources

5.   Work harder than anyone else – Every person who has ever built anything significant has done so with labor – with the fuel and capital of hard work.

6.   Get your priorities straight – see that work and career don’t take priority over the place of God and family.

7.   Give God the credit – we should never forget the goodness of God – how he enables us to reach our dreams.

Don’t let yourself get sidetracked and parked somewhere on a road off the main highway to your dream.

In the sixth chapter, “Develop Big-League thinking”, the author wrote that too many people have big league dreams and little league ideas. He challenges everyone in pursuit of a dream to develop big-league thinking – the guts to set for oneself big-league goals and the gumption to achieve them, the kind of thing that one knows when one see it. It is a quality that’s hard to define but is nonetheless very real. The author suggested 4 steps to Big-league thinking.

1.   Change your ceiling image – it is your personal vision of how far you can go. The highest point you think you can achieve. See yourself as a greater individual than what you think you are. See yourself beyond the ceiling that has held you down so long. See yourself in the big leagues.

2.   Learn to communicate accurate information – this is an important part of the proper thought process that’s necessary for you to achieve your dream.

3.   Practice freedom speech – learn the difference between the can’t and won’t. Can’t is the language of weakness, won’t is the language of decision. With freedom speech you are speaking decisively.

4.   Develop a mindset of responsible action – poor attitude, fear of risk and inadequate preparation are three biggest reasons for personal failure. Take personal responsibility for failures, don’t be afraid to take calculated risks, prepare thoroughly and do your homework.

In the next chapter “Make yourself worthy”, the author wrote that truly successful people are those who are at ease with themselves, comfortable in their relationships and consistent in their personal values. He quoted H G Wells who said, “Success is to be measured not by wealth, power or fame, but by the ratio between what a man is and what he might be.”  The author suggested the following ways in which one can make oneself worthy of one’s dreams.

1.   Escape the temperament trap - this is when you identify yourself as having a certain personality that seems to be fixed in cement. If your personality is fixed in cement, so will be your progress, your journey toward your dream. Probably the clearest sign of failure in a person’s life is when he or she says, “I can’t help it. It’s the way I am. I was born this way.” Change the things in your personality that needs improvement.

2.   Learn to act contrary to your personality – not always but sometimes. It stretches your character.

3.   Make friends with your childhood – The author wrote that whatever be the past, we have to make friends with it. Otherwise they will haunt our dreams.

4.   Develop ‘stand-back-ability” – i.e. the ability to stand back and look at yourself objectively. See yourself achieving your dream.

5.   Develop the art of social intelligence – the ability to get along with people in a happy, healthy, productive way. It involves paying attention to the way somebody says something, never intentionally embarrass anyone; use good manners, learn the art of asking questions, watch your language; don’t win battles – solve problems and be positive with people.  That should be your approach with other people.

In the eighth chapter, “Prevent your dream from getting the best of you”, the author mentioned about the over inflated ego. He shared nine things that he had learned about preventing his dream from getting the best out of him. These are the ingredients of basic humility, the cure for an over inflated ego.

1.   Reject recognition resentment – Recognition resentment becomes a barrier to true success, and it’s an indication of an over inflated ego and a lack of self-confidence.

2.   Stifle the swagger – this is the body language of arrogance. You can tell by the way certain people walk and carry themselves.  It’s not the walk of confidence, it’s a swagger, the walk of an over inflated ego.

3.   Avoid the tendency of thinking you know everything there is to know – when you make a deliberate choice to shut off your learning, you are asking for trouble.

4.   Beware of the times when you can’t get enough of you – don’t talk too much about yourself. Don’t let your ability to learn get overwhelmed by your success. You have to develop a right attitude of humility to learn or you will never get to the top.

5.   Refrain from saying things about others privately that you wouldn’t tell them face to face

6.   Don’t tear down people publicly

7.   Avoid criticizing things you know nothing about.

8.   Reject reality resistance. Sometimes it’s just a matter of the work that you have invested that leads you to resist reality. When out work and dream seem to differ from the reality that confronts us, we tend to turn off the truth, and we embrace our dream blindly.

9.   Don’t treat the laws of God lightly. Often when people get a taste of success, they get so big-headed that they think they can get away with sin. You let your dream get the best of you; you begin to think you’re on top of the world. In fact you are not – God is.

In the last but one chapter, “Sometimes you have to fight”, the author says that most of the time we don’t need to be fighting other people and that instead we need to be concerned about what we are fighting for. The author suggested three things that are worth fighting for.

1.   You have to fight for the purity of your mind. The moral character of our nation starts with you and the things you allow into your mind. That’s why you have to guard what you allow yourself to watch and listen to and read. Fight for the purity of your mind.

2.   Fight for free enterprise in our country. A free enterprise system rewards creative thinking, initiative and hard work. Fight for the system that has made our country great and that makes it possible for you to reach your dream. (Though the author wrote about his country – USA, I think it is universally applicable to all countries).

3.   Fight for your dream – in order to protect your dream, you have to fight and you have to have a will to win.

In the last chapter, “Discover the special ingredient”, the author wrote that the special ingredient not a secret. It is available to everyone. It is personal relationship with God. He is the foundation of true success.

When a millionaire writes, you better read.  Dream Big!!!

HOW TO REMAIN EVER HAPPY

HOW TO REMAIN EVER HAPPY

What great souls say about happiness?

·       Happiness is a state of mind, it doesn’t reside in objects.

·       Money can give you everything except happiness.

·       Fountain of happiness is inside you. Don’t make futile attempts to search it outside.

·       Happiness is your valuable treasurer. Don’t allow it to be snatched by varying circumstances and petty matters of life.

·       Happiness is found in little things: a baby’s smile, a letter from a friend, the song of a bird, the sunlight through the window.

If I wait to be happy

I will wait forever

If I am happy now

I will be happy forever

What is happiness

Happiness and unhappiness are basically states of mind and are not necessarily dependent on outer circumstances and conditions. Therefore, to remain ever happy, what we have to do is just readjustment of our mental attitudes.

Concentration

As physical exercises strengthen the body, concentration increases the strength of mind. Concentration, in other words, means to learn to remain in the present moment, which is most desirable feature for success and happiness in life.

Detachment and ability to forget

We should also develop the ability to detach ourselves from any thing or task at a moment’s notice. Though it is sometimes useful to remember, but it is often wise to forget.

Planned thinking

Ensure at various intervals that your thinking is planned and systematic and not haphazard and random. Unplanned random thinking, day dreaming is a sign of weak mind and indicates that instead of controlling your subconscious mind, you are being controlled by it.

Positive thinking

We give the least importance to this most important aspect of our life i.e. how we think. It is the single largest factor in building up of our personality and character. Develop the habit of viewing everything positively, even the most miserable situation.

Reduce the emotional involvement, take things easy

The root cause of our suffering is our emotional involvement while dealing with various incidents, situations and circumstances of life. The cause of our emotional involvement with worldly things is that we take them too seriously which actually we should not. We should realize that no difficulties or problems are permanent. They all will pass. Such is the law. Everything is in a state of constant motion and change. Nothing is permanent and static here.

Welcome difficulties and problems of life, they are for our good

We can derive some benefit and learning from every problem or difficulty of life and exploit it to our advantage. This is a wonderful law of life. Remember that everything, which happens to us in life, is for our good only. In the apparently looking cruel and adverse circumstances is hidden the infinite mercy of God. You have been placed by god exactly where you deserve. Once you play your present role successfully, you will be automatically shifted to the next higher place.

There is reason for every thing, nothing happens by chance or accident

Universe has a certain order and everything is bound by a relationship of cause and effect. For every effect there is a cause. Consider all problems as projects and as means to grow and remain even minded in success/ failure, gain/ loss, praise/ insult so as to stop any fresh bondage of karma. It is not the incidents or events which are important, but, our mental attitude and reaction towards them.

Silence, solitude and self – introspection

Try to find some time daily when you are in solitude and in silence and devote this time solely for yourself. Try to do some self-introspection in this time as to in which areas you need improvements and strengthening, in which areas you are slipping.

Overcome fear

Fears are drain on our mental energy and are main stumbling blocks to our progress. By the law of attraction, whatever we fear or doubt, we actually attract those conditions. Also bear in mind this great truth that actual mis happening is never that fearful and painful as our thought or imagination of that happening

Don’t have inferiority complex, what others can do, you can also do

Please remember that ultimate potential of all of us is exactly the same. No one is any better or worse than us provided we can explore the potential of our mind through meditation and soul consciousness. Hence never compare with others and neither feels inferior nor feel superior to anybody.

Don’t waste time

Life is short and very precious. Time is running very fast. Every moment we are coming closer to death. It can fall at any moment without any notice. Hence don’t waste any time. We have to achieve maximum in this minimum time. Waste your money and you are only out of money, but waste your time and you have lost a part of your life.

Control over impulses, observe self – restraint and patience

In your daily life, just don’t follow your impulses and start doing or saying anything whichever comes to your mind. It is a sign of weak mind. Have some checks and controls on your mind and never become its slave. Power of controlled mind increases in the same fashion as the power of water increases when it is controlled and channeled by constructing a dam.

Don’t react immediately when provoked

Whenever you feel disturbed or restless due to some sudden problems or some irrelevant remarks or comments by somebody, avoid reacting immediately or coming under sudden provocation. Under provocation, the reasoning power of mind gets destroyed.

Brooding over past and worrying for future

Present is the most important moment of your life. What matters most to you and to the world right now is what you are at present and not what you were or what you will be. Past should be used only for learning some lessons from it so that these mistakes are not repeated. Besides this there is no importance of past. Just forget it like an old movie witnessed by you. There is no dearth of opportunities in our life to progress. If you have lost some opportunities in the past, you can still catch the train now. Opportunities of all sorts are always there before us.

You are the master of your destiny

You are hundred percent responsible for what you are in your life. You have made your destiny by your hands. Never curse your luck for misfortunes, but face the reality boldly. Accepting self-responsibility for your life and the realization that your thoughts, words and actions are the moulds for shaping your future can bring about a major change in your life.

Self-satisfaction before satisfaction of others

Many people live a life style, which is primarily aimed at impressing and satisfying others. They give more importance to what people think about them than what they think about themselves. This is one of the main reasons for our frustrations in life. Trying to pretend what you are not is one of the greatest sources of stress.

Accept and recognize your weaknesses

Once you have recognized your weaknesses, you have already taken the first step in removing them. There should be no hesitation in accepting your weaknesses before others and there should be no attempt to hide them because it is natural for all human beings to have some or the other weaknesses and to commit mistakes.

Don’t fill your subconscious mind with all sorts of garbage

Your subconscious mind is a big storehouse for your conscious mind. Whatever you see, hear, think, feel and experience are all stored here as permanent memory. But the problematic part is that, along with our thoughts and sense impressions, we are also throwing lot of emotional garbage and negativity (e.g. hatred, revenge, fear, anger, jealously etc.), which is playing a real havoc here. Now the law is, whatever you have fed into your subconscious mind, it gives back the same to you.

Avoid making remarks/ comments/ advice to others unless asked for

Only a person who has achieved perfection is fit to make a remark or comment upon others. Any preaching, which you want to give for the benefit of others, it is better to impart that from your behavior rather than from words. You can’t mend any person against his own will.

 Eliminate ego and doer ship feeling

In all the works or things you do, have the attitude that it is God’s work and you are doing it under His guidance as a sevak or servant. He is the actual doer. You are simply a medium or an instrument in His hands. As soon as ego dissolves, you come face to face with God.

Always remain optimistic

Not even the slightest effort ever made by you goes in vain. In your failure lies the secret of your success. Success/ failure, pleasure/pain, night/day etc. are the two faces of the same coin and one can’t be separated from the other. So where there is one, another is bound to be there as per the natural law.

Learn to say ‘No’

Have your independent personality, which should stand like a rock amidst even severe opposition if you are right. If you want to become great and unique, you will have to be different from the rest of the crowd.

Don’t linger things

Successful people are those who get up from their seat and take immediate action. The right time for starting or doing appropriate thing is just now and not tomorrow.

Always remain near to God

So long as you keep your hands in His hands, you are safe from all the miseries of the world. As soon as your hand slips, you are surrounded by all sorts of fear, worries, anxieties, uncertainties, pains, discomforts, failures, and disappointments.

There is nothing free of cost in this world

Those things which apparently appear to come to you free like property of your ancestors, lotteries or even the bribe money, you repay it in some form or the other, though you can’t directly see that

Enjoy the work, not the fruit

As fruits are not in your hands and only in the hands of Almighty, you should never depend upon the fruits for your pleasure.

Small things are as important as big one

Your successful completion of some big things is not necessarily a sign of greatness. Even fools can sometimes do heroic deeds, when other circumstances are favourable. Your greatness is judged by you perform each and every small thing in your life.

The more you give the more you get

Whatever you give to others comes back to you doubled or tripled whether it be knowledge or material things. Whatever you give to others, you actually save that and whatever you keep with you, you actually lose.

Avoid selfishness; expand your consciousness to include the whole world as your family

The best way to keep you happy is to ensure that others are happy. You should be able to look upon other’s problems as your own by placing your self mentally in their position. In the well being and happiness of others lies your own happiness. If your neighbour is crying, you can’t remain happy in spite of all luxuries.

Reduce unnecessary worldly involvement

World is like a big jungle. The more you enter into it, the more you are lost and confused.

Problems are integral part of life

They will never end. One problem will go, other will come. There is no problem in the world which is greater than the strength of your mind and which can’t be solved. We are never given to bear more than our capacity to bear.

Give to the world more than what you take from it

If you are constantly fed on from society like a parasite without giving proper output to society, you are simply a burden on this earth.

Regulate your diet for your mental well-being

Your diet has a considerable influence on your mind. One of the secrets for good health is to always remain slightly hungry. Take plenty of water, vegetables and fruits for keeping your mind pure.

Do regular exercise

Physical relaxation leads to mental relaxation because body and mind are closely interlinked.

Remain above diseases of the body

Body is under direct control of mind. We can remove pain sensitivity by dissociating our mind from the body.

Avoid fear of death

After death you are just the same as before death except that you don’t have a physical body and you reside in Astral world with an astral body, which is at different vibratory rate than the Physical world. One who doesn’t fear death, death fears him.

Take initiative in setting the things right

As an enlightened citizen, you must raise your voice against various disorders and injustice. It is your duty as well as right.

Change yourself to change the world

If we are keen to change the world, first thing is that you and I should start changing. Your change is definitely going to bring change in the world, howsoever small it may be in proportion.

Don’t take revenge for the ills done by others to you

Revenge is such a game in which players die, but the game never ends.

Avoid suspicious/ doubts, have faith

Don’t start with the bias in your mind that other person is a cheat and deceive you and loot you.

Be honest, truthful and righteous in your dealings

Truth can never fall and untruth can never stand. Results of our actions may be delayed, but are never lost. There is an inevitable reward for good deeds and inescapable punishment for bad ones.

Don’t be too anxious to know your future

It is sure that everything in future is not going  to happen, as you want. Some adverse things are inevitable in future not only for you, but also, with everybody because life is like that, a mixture of pleasure and pain.

Check your desires and craving for sensual enjoyment

Material desires and sensual enjoyments have no limit. The more you enjoy, the more you crave for it. The pleasure obtained by gratification of material desires and sensual enjoyments are short-lived and mixed with pain.

Live and work in this world with the sole aim of your constant development

Our central aim in life should be to constantly grow physically, mentally and spiritually. Self-development is the only thing, which is going to remain with us forever.

Anger is a sign of weakness

You can get the work done from the force of your personality rather than from anger. Your saying something seriously should be enough to get the man moving. Your words and thought itself have a great power.

Don’t advertise your problems/ difficulties to others

Except when you really need help from someone, don’t advertise your problems and difficulties to others. By the very nature of human psychology, nobody is interested in your problems. Everybody is interested only in his or her own problems.

Don’t fight over religions, all religions are good

At the highest level, all saints and Gurus become equal. There remains no difference. To become fanatic in a particular religion or faith is like putting a barrier over your mind, which can’t see beyond a particular limit.

Enjoy each moment of life

You should learn to enjoy amidst working and struggling also. Sitting idle with all material comforts around you is not enjoyment. Enjoyment is in the mind and not in the objects.

You can learn from everybody in the world

There is no body in the world that knows nothing and there is nobody who knows every thing. Everybody knows something, which you don’t know.

Don’t do or accept anything, which is less than the best

As a divine child of the God, you are entitled to have everything, which is best. Every day try to do your job a little better than you did the previous day.

We are all connected to each other

Each mind is connected with every other mind and all the minds, in turn, are connected with the cosmic mind (God). No human is an Iceland in himself. Everybody’s activity makes a ripple in the whole universe howsoever infinitesimal it may be. In fact, each mind is in communion with the whole world.

Be independent, take your own decisions

You should try at most of the times, to solve your problems by yourself and take your own decisions. People who have become great and successful are so because they have taken some risks and independent decisions in their life. It is said that, ‘ To become great you have to cross one ditch or the other in your life’.

Be humble as you rise more and more

Greatest man is one who is servant of all. Pride and arrogance lead to a definite downfall of the person. He is fit to rule that reluctantly wears the crown.

External circumstances, on their own can’t create stress

It is not the external situations, but your reactions towards them, which causes the stress. You may control your reactions such that you are never affected emotionally, no matter what happens in the outside world.

Don’t make catastrophe out of unpleasant events of life

Experience of thousands of enlightened men who themselves faced many storms of life shows that there is nothing in this life which can be called catastrophic or unbearable. Every thing can be accepted and handled with serenity.

Learn to give up and let go

Infect, the truth is that happiness consists not in accumulating things, but rather in giving up and letting go. The more you let go, the more relived and relaxed you are.

Don’t get upset over rejections and disapprovals

The person rejecting you may not be technically fit for evaluating you or he may be a biased and jealous person against you. So how can you take his evaluation to be correct?

Avoid strain of perfectionism and idealism

We human beings, by our very definition, are imperfect. No matter at what level we reach, we can’t avoid making mistakes. Accepting only perfectionism and idealism in every situation will constantly lead to stress.

Learn to adjust and compromise

You require much greater will power and strength in adjusting with a person rather than fighting. Getting into confrontation with another person needs no will power. Anybody can do that.

Avoid the strain of impressing others

We fail to recognize the tremendous strain we are putting on ourselves to live unto some kind of image in other’s eyes. Your joy shouldn’t wait for the time when somebody will come and appreciate your work. Your estimation in your own eyes is much important. Other people’s comments should be taken only objectively as an opportunity to reexamine you and take any corrective action, if required.

Live one day at a time; don’t rush

It is only by dividing your life into small units that you can put your whole mind into it without distraction of past and future and get enjoyment out of it. When your mind simultaneously moves into past and future, it can’t perform the present task well.

Does your conversation often end in irritation and heart burning?

Primary aim of any conversation is useful exchange of knowledge and not the establishment of one’s superiority over the other, we will probably save ourselves from much heart burning which is the end of many conversations.

Don’t waste your energies in pleasing and satisfying others

Trying always leads to tension. Happiness is a natural and effortless state of mind. Happiness can’t be given or transmitted to others by force. The greatest contribution you can make in making other people happy is that you first make yourself happy and cheerful so that vibrations emitted by you induce a similar state in others.