“WHO WILL CRY WHEN YOU DIE” WRITTEN BY ROBIN S. SHARMA

BOOK CONDENSATION

Of

“WHO WILL CRY WHEN YOU DIE”

WRITTEN

BY

ROBIN S. SHARMA

Book condensation done by Pankaj Shah, Manager (Trg), SBLC Dehradun

About the author Mr Robin S Sharma- The author is an authority on life and

leadership and personal mastery. Widely recognized as one of the world’s most

electrifying and thoughts provoking professional speakers, he is celebrated author of

5 major national bestsellers including The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari and

Leadership Wisdom From The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari. He is a recognized

media personality, having been featured in hundereds of leading publications

ranging from USA today and SUCCESS Magazine to The National Post and The

Globe and Mail, and on NBC, CBC and CTV.

He is the founder of Sharma Leadership International, a respected training firm that

specializes in developing the leadership and performance potential of individuals

and organization amidst rapid change. Clients include FORTUNE 500 corporations,

major associations and large health care institutions.

About the Book “Who will cry when you die”- This book is a wisdom-rich

manual which offers 101 simple solutions to life’s most complex problems, ranging

from a little known method for beating stress and worry to a powerful way to enjoy

the journey while you create a legacy that lasts. This book contains 101 small

chapters each containing an idea to lead your life happily and consciously. The

Book starts with a quote” The tragedy of life is not death, but what we let die

inside of us while we live” by Norman Cousins and ends with an

acknowledgement by the author.

(IF YOU HAVE THE TIME, READ THE WHOLE CONDENSATION BUT IF

YOU ARE SHORT OF TIME YOU MUST READ AT LEAST THE ITALICS

AND UNDERLINED LINES=-THEY WILL KINDLE YOUR THOUGHTS)

CHAPTER-1

DISCOVER YOUR CALLING

The author quotes a saying from his father “Son, when you were born, you cried

while the world rejoiced. Live your life in such a way that when you die the world

cries while you rejoice”. We live in an age where we have forgotten what life is all

about. We can easily put a person on the Moon, but we have trouble walking across the street to meet a new neighbor. We can fire a missile across the world with

pinpoint accuracy, but we have trouble keeping a date with our children to go to the

library .We have lost touch with our humanity. We have lost touch with our

purpose. We have lost sight of the things that matter the most. Here the writer

respectfully asks all readers of the Book that “WHO WILL CRY AFTER YOU

DIE”

How many lives will you touch while you have the privilege to walk this planet?

What legacy will you leave behind after you have taken your last breath? He says

that one of the lessons he has learned in his own life is that if you don’t act on your

life, life has a habit of acting on you. The days slip into months and months into

year and suddenly you are left with nothing more than a heart filled with regret over

a life half lived. He again quotes George Bernard Shaw as saying on his death bed

when asked, what would you do if you could have your life over again? George says

with a deep sigh that “ I’d like to be the person I could have been but never was”.

Here the author says that he has written this book for you so that it never

happens to you.

The author says that as a professional speaker he more than often come across with

same questions these days that- How can I find greater meaning in my life? How

can I make a lasting contribution through my work? And How can I simplify so that

I can enjoy the journey of life before it is too late? He answers to all these questions

by stating that- Find your calling. We all are here for some unique purpose, some

noble objective that will allow us to manifest our human potential while we, at the

same time, add value to the lives around us. Finding your calling simply means

you need to bring more of yourself into your work and focus on the things you

do best. HE ALSO SAYS THAT STOP WAITING FOR OTHER PEOPLE TO

MAKE THE CHANGES YOU DESIRE and as Mahatma Gandhi noted “Be the

change that you wish to see most in your world, and once you do that, your life will

change.”

CHAPTER-2

EVERYDAY, BE KIND TO A STRANGER

Aldous Huxley on his deathbed, reflected on his entire life’s learning in seven

simple words: ”Let us be kinder to one another”. A meaningful life is made up of a

series of daily acts of decency and kindness, which ironically, add up to something

truly great, over the course of lifetime. Why not start being more of the person you

truly are during your days and doing what you can to enrich the world around you?

If you make even one person smile during your day or brighten the mood of even

one stranger, your day has been a worthwhile one. Kindness, quite simply, is the

rent we must pay for the space we occupy on this planet.

Become more creative in the ways you show compassion to strangers. Paying the

toll for the person in the car behind you, offering your seat on the subway to

someone in need and being the first to say hello are great places to start with.CHAPTER-3

MAINTAIN YOUR PERSPECTIVE

One day, according to an old story, a man with a serious illness was wheeled into a

hospital room where another patient was resting on a bed next to the window. As the

two became friends, the one next to the window would look out of it and then spend

the next few hours delighting his bed ridden companion with vivid step by step

description of the beauty of trees, laughing children and the whole world outside.

However, as time went on, the bedridden man grew frustated at his inability to

observe the wonders his friend described. Eventually he grew to dislike him and

then to hate him intensely.

One night, during a particularly bad coughing fit, the patient next to the window

stopped breathing. Rather than pressing the button for help, the other man choose to

do nothing. The next morning the patient who had given his friend so much

happiness by recounting the sights outside the window was pronounced dead. The

other man quickly asked that his bed be placed next to the window, a request that

was complied with. But as he looked out the window, he discovered something that

made him shake: the window faced a stark brick wall. His former roommate had

conjured up the incredible sights that he described in his imagination as a loving

gesture to make the world of his friend little bit better. He had acted out of selfless

love.

The author says that this story never fails to create a shift in his own perspective

when he thinks about it. To live happier, more fulfilling lives, when we encounter a

difficult circumstances, we must keep shifting our perspective and continually ask

ourselves,” Is there a wiser, more enlightened way of looking at this seemingly

negative situation?” We walk this planet for such a short time. In the overall

scheme of things, our lives are mere blips on the canvas of eternity. So have the

wisdom to enjoy the journey and savor the process.

CHAPTER-4

PRACTISE TOUGH LOVE

The golden thread of a highly successful and meaningful life is self- discipline.

Discipline allows you to do all those things you know in your heart you should do,

but never feel like doing. Author calls this habit of self- discipline “Tough love”

because getting tough with yourself is actually a very loving gesture. The tougher

you are on yourself, the easier life will be on you. The quality of life ultimately is

shaped by the quality of your choices and decisions, ones that range from the career

you choose to pursue to the books you read, the time that you wake up every

morning and thoughts you think during the hours of your days. Effective, fulfilled

people do not spend their time doing what is most convenient and comfortable, They

have the courage to listen to their hearts and to do the wise things. This habit is what makes them great. “The successful person has the habit of doing the things

failures don’t like to do,” remarked essayist and thinker E.M.Gray. “ They don’t like

doing them either, necessarily. But their disliking is subordinated to their strength of

purpose.” English writer Thomas Henry Huxley arrived at a similar conclusion,

noting: “Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make

yourself do the thing you have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it

or not.”

CHAPTER-5

KEEP A JOURNAL

Maintaining a daily journal is one of the best personal growth initiatives you will

ever take. Writing down your daily experiences along with the lessons you have

drawn from them will make you wiser with each passing day. You will develop self

awareness and make fewer mistakes. And keeping a journal will help clarify your

intentions so that you remain focussed on the things that really count. Writing in a

journal offers you the opportunity to have regular one-to-one conversations with

yourself. It will also make you a clearer thinker and help you live in a more

intentional and enlightened way. In addition, it provides a central place where you

can record your insights on important issues, note key success strategies that have

worked for you and commit to all those things you know are important to achieve

for a high- quality professional, personal and spiritual life. And your personal

journal gives you a private place to flex your imagination and define your dreams.

Keeping a journal encourages you to consider what you do, why you do it and what

you have learned from all you have done. Medical researchers have even found that

writing in a private journal for as little as 15 minutes a day can improve health,

functioning of your immune system and your overall attitude. Remember, if your

life is worth thinking about, it is worth writing about.

CHAPTER-6

DEVELOP AN HONESTY PHILOSOPHY

We live in a world of broken promises. We live in a time when people treat their

words lightly. We tell a friend we will call her next week for lunch knowing fully

well, we do not have time to do so. We promise ourselves this will be the year we

will get back into shape, simplify our lives and have more fun without any real

intention of making the deep life changes necessary to achieve these goals. The real

problem is that when you don’t keep your words, you loose creditibilty. When you

lose creditibility, you break the bonds of trust. And breaking the bonds of trust

ultimately leads to a string of broken relationship. Here the author suggests to go on

what he calls a “truth fast” for the next seven days and vow to be completely honest

in all your dealings with others- and with yourself. Every time you fail to do the

right things, you fuel the habit of doing the wrong things. Every time you do not tell

the truth, you feed the habit of being untruthful. Be a person of your word rather than being” all talk and no action”. As Mother Teresa said,” there should be less

talk, a preaching point is not a meeting point.

CHAPTER-7

HONOUR YOUR PAST

Every second you dwell on the past, you steal from your future. Every minute you

spend focusing on your problems you take away from finding your solutions. And

thinking about all those things that you wish never happened to you is actually

blocking all the things you want to happen from entering into your life. Given the

timeless truth that holds that you become what you think about day long, it makes

no sense to worry about past events unless you want to experiment them for a

second time. Life’s greatest setbacks reveal life’s biggest opportunities. As the

ancient thinker Euripides noted,” There is in the worst of fortune the best chances

for a happy change.” Remember, happy people have often experienced as much

adversity as those who are unhappy. What sets them apart is that they have the good

sense to mange their memories in a way that enriches their lives. AND

UNDERSTAND THAT IF YOU HAVE FAILED MORETHAN OTHERS, THERE

IS A VERY GOOD CHANCE YOU ARE LIVING, MORE COMPLETELY

THAN OTHERS. As Herodotus noted so sagely,” It is better by noble boldness to

run the risk of being subject to half of the evils we anticipate than to remain in

cowardly listlessness for fear of what may happen.” Or as Booker T. Washington

said,” I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that

one has reached in life as by the obstacles he has overcome while trying to

succeed.”

CHAPTER-8

START YOUR DAY WELL

The way you begin the day determines the way you will live your day. The first

thirty minutes after you wake up are the “Platinum 30”, since they are truly the most

valuable moments of your day. If you have the wisdom and self-discipline to ensure

that, during this key period, you think only the purest of thoughts and take only the

finest of actions, you will notice that your days will consistently unfold in the most

marvelous ways. The author here cites about the movie EVEREST and says that in

order for the mountain climbers to scale the summit, it was essential for them to

have a good base camp. The camp gives them rest, renewal and replenishment. In

the same way every one of us, in order to reach our personal summit and master the

daily challenges of our own lives, need to revisit our base camps during “The

Platinum 30”.

CHAPTER- 9

LEARN TO SAY NO GRACEFULLY

It is easy to say yes to every request on your time when the priorities of your life are

unclear. If your priorities don’t get scheduled into your planner other people’s priorities will get put into your planner. The solution is to be clear about your life’s

highest objectives and then to learn to say NO with grace. The most effective people

concentrate on their “areas of excellence” that is, on the things they do best and on

those high impact activities that will advance their life work. In being consumed by

the important things, they find it easy to say NO to the less-than-worthy distractions.

Michael Jordan, the best basketball player in the game’s history, did not negotiate

his contracts, design his uniforms and prepare his travel schedules. He focussed his

time and energies on what he did best: playing basketball, and delegated everything

else to his handlers. Learning to say NO to the non-essentials will give you more

time to devote to the things that you have the power to truly improve the way you

live and help you leave the legacy you know in your heart you are destined to leave.

CHAPTER- 10

TAKE A WEEKLY SABBATICAL

In ancient days, the seventh day of the week was known as the Sabbath. Reserved

for some of life’s most important, yet commonly neglected pursuits, including

spending time with one’s family and hours of deep reflection and self-renewal, it

provided a chance for hard working people to renew their batteries and spend a day

living life more fully. However, as the life quickened this wonderful tradition was

lost along- with the tremendous benefits that flowed from it.

Stress itself is not a bad thing. It can often help us perform at our best, expand

beyond our limits and achieve things that would otherwise astonish us. The real

problem lies in the fact that in this age of global anxiety we do not get enough relief

from stress. So to vitalize yourself and nourish the deepest part of you, plan for a

weekly period of peace- a weekly sabbatical- to get back to the simpler pleasures of

life. Bringing this simple ritual into your weeks will help you reduce your stress,

connect with your more creative side and feel far happier in every role of your life.

CHAPTER-11

TALK TO YOURSELF

The author talks of a book AS A MAN THINKETH by James Allen that discussed

the enormous power of the human mind to shape our reality and attract great

happiness and prosperity into our lives. The book also mentions the profound

influence of the words and language we use on a daily basis to create a more

enlightened pathway of thought. This knowledge caused me to become aware of the

personal dialogue that each of us has going on within us every minute of every hour

of every day and to vow to improve the content of what I was saying to myself. To

achieve this I applied a strategy developed by the ancient saints. The technique is a

simple one and involves nothing mare than selecting a phrase that you will train

your mind to focus on at different times throughout the day until it begins to

dominate your awareness and reshape the person you are. If you need material

prosperity, your saying might be,” I am so grateful that money and opportunity is

flowing into my life.” Try to say your personal phrase at least two hundred times a day for at least 4 weeks. The result will be profound as you take one giant step to

find the peace, prosperity and purpose your life requires. As Hazrat Inayat Khan

said” The words that enlighten the soul are more precious than jewels”

CHAPTER –12

SCHEDULE WORRY BREAKS

People had grown so busy that they spent most of their free time worrying about

things that should have been left at the office. They had lost the ability to laugh,

love and share joy with their families because challenges at work were consuming

them. Too many people are spending the best years of their lives stuck in a state of

constant worry. They worry about their jobs, the bills, the environment and their

kids. And yet we all know deep in our hearts that most of the things we worry about

never happen. It’s like the great saying of Mark Twain’s, “ I’ve had a lot of trouble

in my life, some of which actually happened." I know how dramatically the worry

habit can reduce one's quality of life from personal experience. One of the simplest

strategy I learned to conquer the worry habit was to schedule specific times of

worry-what I now call “worry breaks.” If we are facing a difficulty, it is easy to

spend all our waking hours focussing on it. Instead, I recommend that you schedule

fixed times to worry, say, 30 minutes every evening. And after the period ends, you

must train yourself to leave your troubles behind. If during other times of the day

you feel the need to worry, jot down what you want to worry about in a notebook

which you can then bring to your next worry break. This technique will gradually

reduce the amount of time spend worrying and eventually serve to eliminate this

habit forever.

CHAPTER- 13

MODEL A CHILD

Once I took my 4 year-old-son Colby to an Italian restaurant for lunch and ordered

pasta for our main course and then started to enjoy the freshly baked bread our

waiter had brought. Rather than eating the whole bread Colby took a different

approach. He began to scoop out the warm, soft part of the bread and left the crust

intact. In fact he had the wisdom to focus on the best part of the bread, and leave the

rest. “Children come to us more highly evolved than adults to teach us the lessons

we need to learn.” And on that fine day my little boy reminded me that, we spend

too much time focussing on the “crust of life” rather than on all the good things that

flow in and out of our days. What we focus on will determine our destiny and so we

must start focusing on the good stuff.

In the weeks ahead, make the time to connect to your more playful side, the child

within you. Study the positive qualities of children and model their ability to stay

energized, imaginative and completely in the moment no matter what might be

going on around them. And as you do, remember the powerful words of Leo Rosten,

who observed-You can understand and relate to most people better if you look at them-no

matter how impressive they may be- as if they are children. For most of us we

never really grow up or mature all that much- we simply grow taller. Oh, to

be sure, we laugh less and play less and wear uncomfortable disguises like

adults, but beneath the costume is the child we always are, whose needs are

simple, whose daily life is still best described by fairy tales.

CHAPTER-14

REMBEMBER, GENIUS IS 99 PERCENT INSPIRATION

The celebrated inventor Thomas Edison is well known for his statement:” Genius is

1 percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration.” Though hard work is essential,

yet deep sense of inspiration and commitment is an even more important attribute.

When you study life of great geniuses, you will discover that their desire become

almost an obsession for most of them. Edison was inspired to manifest the visions

he saw on the picture screen of his imagination into reality. As Woodrow Wilson

said,“ You are not here to merely make a living. You are here in order to enable the

world to live amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement.

You are here to enrich the world and you impoverish yourself if you forget the

errand.” How inspired are you in your own life? Do you jump out of bed on Monday

mornings? If your level of inspiration is lower, read a good self-help book or listen

to a motivating audio cassette program. Start spending time with people who are

passionate about what they are doing in their lives. With a healthy dose of

inspiration, you will quickly raise your life to a whole new plane of living.

CHAPTER- 15

CARE FOR THE TEMPLE

Many people regularly go to a Church or Temple to stay grounded and centered. I’m

a little different. I go to the gym- that’s my temple. I close my office at 5.30 P.M. no

matter how busy I am, and make the “daily pilgrimage” Romans say,” men’s sana in

corpore sano,” which is latin for ‘in a sound body rests a sound mind.” Our bodies

need to be treated like temples and considered sacred if we hope to live life fully and

completely. Regular exercise will not only improve your health, it will help you think

more clearly, boost creativity and manage the relentless stress. Exercise will not

only add life to your years, it could add years to your life. Few investments will

yield a better return than time spent on physical fitness. And remember:” Those who

don’t make time for exercise must eventually make time for illness.” The act of

caring ones physical temple reminds that life’s greatest pleasures are often life’s

simplest ones.

CHAPTER- 16

LEARN TO BE SILENTWilliam Wordsworth sagely observed,” When from our better selves we have too

long been parted by the hurrying world, sick of its business, of its pleasures tired,

how gracious, how benign is solitude.” All of the great wisdom traditions of the

world have arrived at the same conclusion: to reconnect with who you really are as a

person and to come to know the glory that rests within you, you must find the time

to be silent on a regular basis. Sure, you are busy. But as Thoreau said,” It is not

enough to be busy, so are the ants. The question is what are you busy about?”

Experiencing solitude, for even a few minutes a day, will keep you centered on your

highest life priorities and help you avoid the neglect that pervades the lives of so

many of us. And saying that you don’t have enough time to be silent on a regular

basis is a lot like saying you are too busy driving to stop for gas- eventually it will

catch up with you.

CHAPTER-17

THINK ABOUT YOUR IDEAL NEIGHBORHOOD

One of the things I have done along my quest for self-knowledge is to make a list of

all the people I wished lived next door to me. The very act of listening your “ideal

neighbors” will connect you to many of the values and traits you respect the most in

people and, in doing so, help you to discover more about yourself as a person. Take

a moment right now to jot down some of the people whom you wished lived on your

street. Then think about the qualities that make these men and women so admirable

and how you might foster such qualities in your own life. The first step to realizing

your life vision is defining it. And the first step to becoming the person you want to

be is identifying the traits of the person you want to be.

CHAPTER-18

GET UP EARLY

Getting up early is a gift you give to yourself. Few disciplines have the power to

transform your life, as does the habit of early rising. Time seems to slow down and a

deep sense of peace fills the air. Joining the “Five o’clock club” will allow you to

start controlling your day rather than letting your day control you. Winning the

“Battle of Bed” and putting mind over mattress, by rising early will provide you

with at least 1 quiet hour for yourself during the most crucial part of the day: the

beginning. I can even safely say that this is one success principle that is really worth

integrating into your life.

To cultivate the habit of getting up earlier, the first thing to remember is that it is the

quality rather than the quantity of sleep that matters most. Here are 4 tips to help

you sleep more deeply:

· Don’t rehearse the activities of your day while you are lying in your bed.· Don’t eat after 8 P.M.( if you have to eat something have soup)

· Don’t watch the news before you go to sleep.

· Don’t read in bed.

Give yourself a few weeks for this new habit to take hold. Life change takes time,

effort and patience. But the results you will receive make the initial stress you

experience more than worth it.

CHAPTER- 19

SEE YOUR TROUBLES AS BLESSINGS

I often wonder why we, as human beings, spend so much of our lives focusing on

the negative aspects of our most difficult experiences rather than seeing them for

what they truly are: our greatest teachers. You would not have the wisdom and

knowledge you now possess were it not for the setbacks you have faced, the

mistakes you have made and the suffering you have endured. Once and for all, come

to realize that pain is a teacher and failure is the highway to success. Begin to see

your troubles as blessings, resolve to transform your stumbling blocks into stepping

stones and vow to turn your wounds into wisdom. Like most people, I have

encountered my own share of pain as I have advanced along the path of life. But I

always try to remind myself that our character is shaped, not through life’s easiest

experiences, but during life’s toughest ones. If you are currently experiencing

challenges of your own, I respectfully offer the following words of Rainer Marie

Rilke, which have helped me greatly when life throws one of its curves my way:

… have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to

love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign

language. Do not look for the answers. They could not be given to you because you

could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present, you need

to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find

yourself experiencing the answers, some distant day.

CHAPTER- 20

LAUGH MORE

According to one study, the average four–year–old laughs three hundred times a day

while average adult laughs about fifteen times a day. With all the obligations,

stresses and activities that fill our days, we have forgotten how to laugh. Daily

laughter has been shown to elevate our moods, promote creativity and give us more

energy. Comedian Steve Martin reportedly laughs for five minutes in front of the

mirror every morning to get his creative juices flowing and to start his day on a high

note (try it- it works). As William James, the father of modern psychology,

observed,” We don’t laugh because we are happy. We are happy because we laugh.”

A friend of mine made it his new year’s resolution one year, to laugh more. Every

week, he would go to local video store and rent a Stooges movie or buy a new book

of humor, which he would then dip into when he had a few free moments during the

course of the day. Because of all the humor he surrounded himself with the new awareness it created in his life, he also began to see the lighter side of things and no

longer experienced the level of stress he had felt in his professional pursuits. Why

not follow my friend’s lead and head down to your local video store to stock up on

the latest funny movies. Reconnect to your playful side and enjoy the wonders of a

deep belly laugh.

CHAPTER- 21

SPEND A DAY WITHOUT A WATCH

Last fall, I did something I have not done for many years: I left my watch at home

and spent an entire day without looking at the time. Rather than living by the clock

and planning everything I was going to do that day, I simply lived for the moment

and did whatever I felt like doing. I became a true human being rather than merely a

human doing.

CHAPTER –22

TAKE MORE RISKS

I’ll make you this promise: on your deathbed, in the twilight of your life, it will not

be all the risks you took that you will regret the most. Rather, what will fill your

heart with the greatest amount of regret and sadness will be all those risks that you

did not take, all those opportunities you did not seize and all those fears you did not

face. Remember that on the other side of fear lies freedom. And stay focussed on the

timeless success principle that says:” life is nothing more than a game of numbers

the more risks you take, the more rewards you will receive.” Or in the words of

Sophocles,” Fortune is not on the side of the faint hearted.”

Get good at being uncomfortable and stop walking the path of least resistance.

Sure, there is a greater chance you will stub your toes when you walk the road less

traveled, but that is the only way you can get anywhere. Andre Gide observed,” One

does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very

long time.” Failure is nothing more than learning how to win. Life is all about

choices. Deeply fulfilled and highly actualized people simply make wiser choices

than others. You can choose to spend the rest of your days sitting on the shore of life

in complete safety or you can choose to take some chances, dive deep into the water

and discover the pearls that lie waiting for the person of true courage. Theodore

Roosevelt has rightly said- It is not the critic who counts, nor the man who points

out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done

better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is

marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes

short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and

spends himself in a worthy cause, who at best knows in the end the triumphs of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails at least fails while daring greatly so

that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither

victory nor defeat.

CHAPTER- 23

LIVE A LIFE

On being asked about the ups and downs of his career, movie star Kevin Costner

responded with these words,” I am living a life”. I found this reply to be profound.

We all travel different roads to our ultimate destinations. For some of us, the path is

rockier than for others. But no one reaches the end without facing some form of

adversity. So rather than fight it, why not accept it as the way of life? Why not

detach yourself from the outcomes and simply experience every circumstance that

enters your life to the fullest? Remember, there are no real failures in life, only

results. There are no true tragedies, only lessons. And there are no problems only

opportunities waiting to be recognized as solutions by the person of wisdom.

CHAPTER-24

LEARN FROM A GOOD MOVIE

I love going to movies whenever I can. We always walk out with smiles on our

faces along with a whole host of new characters we can pretend to be in our daily

play sessions. I find films not only relax me but they serve to transport me to a

different world and inspire me to keep thinking about the endless possibilities life

holds. A good movie can restore your perspective, reconnect you to the things you

value most and keep you enthusiastic about all the things in your life. And as Ralph

Waldo Emerson said,” Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.”

CHAPTER-25

BLESS YOUR MONEY

A few years back, I found a book entitled BRING OUT THE MAGIC IN YOUR

MIND. It was written almost thirty years ago, by a man named Al Koran, who was

then known as “the finest mental magician in the world.” In a chapter entitled “The

secrets of Wealth” he writes the following “ When you send your money out,

remember always to bless it. Ask it to bless everybody that it touches, and command

it to go out and feed the hungry and clothe the naked, and command it to come back

to you a million fold. Don’t pass over this lightly. I am serious.” Over the next few

days, why not follow Al Koran’s advice and see what happens? When you pay for

your groceries, silently bless all those who have helped bring this food to you: the

farmers who have grown it, the delivery people who have carried it and the store

clerks who have stocked it. As that timeless truth says,” The hand that gives is the

hand that gathers.”

CHAPTER-26FOCUS ON THE WORTHY

A while ago a package arrived at my office. I quickly opened it and began to read

the letter within. It was from the CEO of a major corporation. He said he was a life

long student of leadership and was intrigued by the title of my Book Leadership

wisdom from the monk who sold his ferrari , which had brought a smile to his face.

In his letter he wrote: As I read your story about this man whose life had become too

complex and out of control, I began to connect with a part of myself that I had not

connected with for many, many years. I began to think about my wife who had been

begging me to take a vacation for the past 5 years. And I thought about my three

children who had watched their father spend their finest years of their youth

climbing the imaginary ladder of success. I knew that I had to make some serious

changes in the way that I was leading and in the way I was living. I promised to

myself that I would commit myself to eliminating the multitude of distractions in

my life and concentrate on only the fundamentals. I cannot tell you how much better

my life has become since I began to live by the simple philosophy ”the person who

tries to do everything ultimately achieves nothing”. Thank you.

Time is your most precious commodity and yet most of us live our lives as if we

have all the time in the world. The real secret to getting things done is knowing what

things need to be undone. The sage Confucius put it this way,” The person who

chases two rabbits catches neither,” while the Roman philosopher Marcus

AURELIUS said,” Let thine occupations be few if thou wouldst lead a tranquil life.”

Management guru Peter Drucker made the point of wisdom in yet another way when

he wrote,” There is nothing so useless as

doing efficiently that which should not be done at all”.

CHAPTER 27

Write Thank-You Notes

The things that are easy to do are also the things that are easy not to do. The more

the pace of our lives speeds up the greater the impact the simple gestures of life will

have on those most deserving of them. And near the very top of my list of simple

gestures that have profound consequences is the lost art of writing thank-you notes.

Everyone loves getting mail-it’s a fact of human nature. We all have a deep

seated need to feel important. I truly love receiving letters from people who have

read my books and used the lessons within them to make positive changes in their

lives. Few things excite me as much as receiving a bag full of mail from men and

women who have attended one of my seminars and seen their careers take off and

their personal lives improve. And knowing how much joy I feel when I receive mail

from others. I try my best to respond to every letter that comes across my desk with

a thank-you note of my own. Even in the case of the people I deal with on a daily basis – executives calling

to book me for a speaking engagement, people who attend my personal coaching

programs, members of the media requesting an interview and business people

calling me with new opportunities – I try to follow up on every encounter with a

sincerely written thank-you note. Sure, It takes time. Sure, there might be pressing

things on my agenda. But few acts have the power to build and cement relationships

like a heart-felt letter of thanks. It shows you care and that you are considerate

human. So this week, go out and buy a package of the blank thank-you cards that

are now available in bulk at your local office supply warehouse and start writing.

You – and all the people that you deal with – will be glad you did.

CHAPTER 28

Always Carry a Book with You

According to U.S. News & World Report, over the course of your life time you will

spend eight months opening junk mail, two years unsuccessfully returning phone

calls and five years standing in line. Given this startling fact, one of the simplest yet

smartest time management strategies you can follow is to never go anywhere with

out a book under your arm. While others waiting in line are complaining, you will

be growing and feeding your mind a rich diet of ideas found in great books.

“So long as you live, Keep learning how to live,” noted the Roman philosopher

Seneca. Yet most people never read more than a handful of books after they

complete their formal schooling. In these times of rapid change, ideas are the

commodity of success. All it takes is one idea from the right book to reshape your

character or to transform your relationships or to revolutionize your life. A good

book can change the way you live as the philosopher Henry David Thoreau

observed in Walden,” There are probably words addressed to our condition exactly,

which, if we could really hear and understand, would be more salutary than the

morning or the spring to our lives, and possibly put a new aspect on the face of

things for us. How many a man has dated a new era of his life from the reading of a

book. The book exists for us perchance which will explain our miracles and reveal

new ones.”

How high you will rise in your life will be determined not by how hard you

work but by how well you think. As I say in my leadership speeches. “The greatest

leaders in this new economy will be the greatest thinkers.” And the person you will

be five years from now will come down to two primary influences: the people you associate with and the books you read. I often joke with my seminar audiences that I

play : Cinderella Tennis”: I play tennis with someone better than I am, something

almost magical happens to my game. I make shots that I have never made before,

gracefully floating through the air with an ease that would make even the best player

blush. Reading good books creates much the same phenomenon. When you expose

your mind to the thoughts of the greatest people who have walked this planet before

you, your game improves, the depth of your thinking expands and you rise to whole

new level of wisdom.

Deep reading allows you to connect with the world’s most creative, intelligent

and inspiring people, twenty-four hours a day. Aristotle, Emerson, Seneca, Gandhi,

Thoreau, Dorothea Brande, and many of the wisest women and men who grace our

planet today are just waiting to share their knowledge with you through their books.

Why wouldn’t you seize such an opportunity as often as you could? If you have not

read today, you have not really lived today. And knowing how to read but failing to

do so puts you in exactly the same position as the person who cannot read but wants

to.

CHAPTER 29

Create a Love Account

Mother Teresa once said, “ There are no great acts. There are only small acts done

with great love.” What small acts can you do today to deepen the bonds between

you and the people you value the most? What random acts of kindness and senseless

acts of beauty can you offer to someone in an effort to make his or her day just a

little better? The irony of being more compassionate is that the very act of giving to

others makes you feel better as well.

To practice being more loving, create a love reserve by doing something small

to add joy to the life of someone around you. Buying your partner fresh cut flowers

for no reason at all, sending your best friend a copy of your favorite book or taking

the time to tell your children in no uncertain terms how you feel about them are all

good places to start.

If there is one thing that I have learned in life, it is that the little things are the

big things. Those tiny, daily deposits into the love account will give you far more

happiness than any amount of money in your bank account. As Emerson said so

eloquently. “ Without the rich heart, wealth is an ugly beggar.” Or as Tolstoy wrote,, “The means to gain happiness is to throw out for oneself like a spider in all

directions an adhesive web of love, and to catch in all that comes.”

CHAPTER 30

Get Behind people’s Eyeballs

One of the deepest of all the human hungers is the need to be understood,

cherished and honored. Yet, in the fast-paced days we live in, too many people

believe that listening involves nothing more than waiting for the other person to stop

talking. And to make matters worse while that person is speaking, we are all too

often using that time to formulate our own response, rather than empathizing with

the point being made.

Taking the time to truly understand another’s point of view shows that you

value what he has to say and care about him as a person. When you start “getting

behind the eyeballs” of the person who is speaking and try to see the world from his

perspective, you will connect with him deeply and build high-trust relationships that

last.

We have two ears and one mouth for a reason: to listen twice as much as we

speak. And having the courtesy to be a better listener has another advantage: since

you are not doing all the talking, you are doing all the learning, gaining access to

information you would have missed had you been engaged in the usual monologue.

Here are a few practical tips to become better at the art of listening:

· If you are speaking and the person you are having a conversation with has not

said something within the past sixty seconds, there is a good chance you have

lost her and it’s time to stop talking so much.

· Resist the temptation to interrupt. Catch yourself just before you do so and

pay more attention to the content of what the other person is saying to you.

· If appropriate (i.e., in a business setting), take notes. Few things more readily

show the other person in a conversation that you genuinely wish to learn from

what she has to say than pulling out a notepad and making notes while she

speaks.

· After the other person makes her points, rather than immediately responding

with your opinion, reflect on what you have just heard. Saying something

such as, “Just to make sure I understand you, are you saying ...?” and doing so

with complete sincerity will bring you much closer to the people you interact

with every day of your life.CHAPTER 31

List Your Problems

“A problem well stated is a problem half solved,” said Charles Kettering.

There is something very special that happens when you take out a piece of paper

and list every single one of your problems on it. It is very much like the peaceful

feeling you get after telling your best friend about something that has been

troubling you for weeks. A weight somehow falls from your shoulders. You feel

lighter, calmer and freer.

I have discovered that while our minds can be our best friends, they can also

be our worst enemies. If you keep thinking about your problems, pretty soon you

will find you think about little else. The mind is a strange creature in this

regard: the things you want it to remember it forgets, but all those things you

want it to forget it remembers. I have people coming to my seminars who tell me

they are still mad about what someone did to them fifteen years ago or still

annoyed at what a rude salesclerk said to them last month.

To let go of the mental clutter that your problems tend to generate, list all

your worries on a piece of paper. If you do so, they will no longer be able to

fester in your mind and drain your valuable energy. This simple exercise will

also permit you to put your problems into perspective and tackle them in an

orderly, well-planned sequence. Among the many successful people who have

used this technique are martial arts master Bruce Lee and Winston Churchill,

who once said, “It helps to write down half a dozen things which are worrying

me. Two of them, say, disappear; about two, nothing can be done, so it’s no use

worrying; and two perhaps can be settled.”

CHAPTER 32

Practice the Action Habit

“Wisdom is knowing what to do next, skill is knowing how to do it, and virtue is

doing it,” observed David Starr Jordan. Most of us know what we need to do in

order to live happier, healthier and more fulfilling lives. The real problem is that

we don’t do what we know. I have heard many motivational speakers say,

“Knowledge is power.” I disagree. Knowledge is not power. Knowledge is only

potential power. It transforms itself into actual power the moment you decisively

act on it. The mark of a strong character lies not in doing what is fun to do or what is

easy to do. The sign of deep moral authority appears in the individual who

consistently does what he ought to be doing rather than what he feels like doing.

A person of true character spends his days doing that which is the right thing to

do. Rather than watching television for three hours after an exhausting day at

work, he has the courage to get up off the couch and read to his kids. Instead of

sleeping in on those cold wintry mornings this individual exercises his natural

reserves of self-discipline and gets out of bed for a run. And since action is a

habit, the more positive actions you take, the more you will feel like taking.

All too often, we spend our days waiting for the ideal path to appear in front

of us. We forget that paths are made by walking, not waiting. Dreaming is great.

But thinking big thoughts alone will not build a business, pay your bills or make

you into the person you know in your heart you can be. In the words of Thomas

Carlyle, “The end of man is an action and not a thought, though it were the

noblest.” The smallest of actions is always better than the boldest of intentions.

CHAPTER 33

See Your Children as Gifts

On Father’s Day, my son Colby brought home a hand made card from school. On

the front of it was his small handprint and inside the card, above a little photograph

of my child, were these words:

Sometimes you get discouraged because I am so small And always leave my

fingerprints on furniture and walls. But every day I’m growing-I’ll be grown up

someday And all those tiny handprints will surely fade away.

So here’s final handprint, just so you can recall

Exactly how my fingers looked, when I was very small.

Love, Colby

Children grow so very quickly. It seems like just yesterday that I stood in the

delivery room waiting for the birth of my son, and them two years later, for the birth

of my daughter, Bianca. It is easy to promise yourself you will spend more time

with your kids “when things slow down at work” or “ when i get that big

promotion” or “next year when I get a little more time. “But if you don’t act on life,

life has a habit of acting on you. the weeks slip into months, the months slip into

years and before you know it, that little child is now an adult with a family of her

own. The greatest gift you can give to your children is the gift of your time. And one of the greatest gifts you will ever give yourself is that of enjoying your kids and

seeing them for what they truly are: the small miracles of life.

In the Prophet, Kahlil gibran makes the point far more eloquently than I ever

could when he writes, “Your children are not your children. they are the sons and

daughters of Life’s longing for itself.”

CHAPTER 34

Enjoy the Path, Not Just the Reward

In my work, I am often asked to teach people how to set and achieve goals. When I

ask my audiences, “Why is it so important that you realize your goals ?” they often

answer.” Because getting the things I want will make me happy.” While there is an

element of truth in this answer-getting the things we want often does bring a

measure of joy into our lives-it somehow misses the mark. The real value of setting

and achieving goals lies not in the rewards you receive but in the person you

become as a result of reaching your goals. This simple distinction has helped me to

enjoy the path of life while, at the same time, staying focused on meeting my

personal and professional objectives.

As one of my favorite philosophers, Ralph Waldo Emerson, observed,” The

reward for a thing well done, is to have done it.” When you achieve a goal, whether

that goal was to be a wiser leader or to become a better parent, you will have grown

as a person in the process. Often, you will not be able to detect this growth, but the

growth will have occurred. So rather than savoring only the rewards that have

flowed from the achievement of that goal, celebrate the fact that the process of

reaching your destination has improved the person you are. You have build self

discipline, discovered new things about your abilities and manifested more of your

human potential. These are reward in and of themselves.

CHAPTER 35

Remember that Awareness Precedes Change

You will never be able to eliminate a weakness you don’t even know about. The

first step to eliminating a negative habit is to become aware of it. Once you develop

an awareness about the behavior you are trying to change you will be well on your

way to replacing it with one that is more helpful.

As an author, I am frequently invited to appear on radio and television talk

shows. When I first started doing these programs, I thought I was a natural. I

enjoyed meeting the hosts, sharing my insights and discussing the ideas in my books with callers. It was only when I began to tape myself and study those tapes that I

realized something I had been unaware of: I spoke far too quickly. As a matter of

fact, I sometimes spoke so fast that many of the key points I was trying to make got

lost in the avalanche of words I heaped on the audience that had tuned in. Becoming

aware of my weakness was the first step to eliminating it.

I then went to my favorite bookstore and bought five books on effective

communication. In addition I ordered a series of audiocassettes that contained the

speeches of some of the world’s top speakers. I also joined the National Speakers

Association. Finally, I picked up the phone and called a number of media

personalities whom I felt I could learn from and invited them out for a quick lunch.

Not one refused. Over a matter of weeks, I educated myself on how to improve my

delivery on TV and radio so that I could share my message more effectively.

I have found as well that becoming aware of a weakness, that is, paying

attention to it, also attracts more solutions into one’s life. For example, as soon as I

realized that I needed to slow down to communicate in a better way, I started to

notice seminars on the subject advertised in the paper. I also noticed that the right

books appeared on the shelves of the bookstores where I was browsing and found

people who could coach me. So, over the coming weeks, reflect on your weaknesses

and vow to transform them into strengths that will add richness and energy to the

way you live.

CHAPTER 36

Read Tuesdays with Morrie

While I was on the Denver stop of the American book tour for The Monk who Sold

His Ferrari, I dropped into the airport bookstore before boarding the flight home. As

I looked through the latest bestsellers, a small book with a simple cover caught my

attention. Its title read Tuesdays with Morrie: An Old Man. A Young Man and Life’s

Greatest Lesson. This was the book that at least a dozen booksellers on the tour had

suggested I buy since it was, in many ways, similar to the one I had just written.

And so I picked it up.

After takeoff, I thought I would browse through the book for a few minutes

before taking a much-needed nap. A few minutes slipped into a few hours and by

the time we landed, I had just finished the last page with tears in my eyes. The book

is about a man who, after leaving university and building a career, rediscovers his

favorite professor, Morrie, in the final months of the older man’s life. Every Tuesday, the former student then visits the dying teacher to learn another lesson

about life from this man who has lived so richly and completely.

A real-life account. the lessons Morrie offers during these moving Tuesday

sessions include: how to avoid a life of regret, the value of family, the importance of

forgiveness and the meaning of death, where he makes the powerful remark, “Once

you learn how to die, you learn how to live.” this beautiful little book will remind

you of the importance of counting your blessings daily and having the wisdom to

honor lie’s simplest pleasures no matter how busy your life becomes. One of the

legacies I will leave to my two children will be a library of books that have inspired

and touched me. And Tuesdays with Morrie will be one that will sit out in front.

CHAPTER 37

Master your Time

I have always found it ironic that so many people say they would do anything for a

little more time every day and yet they squander the time they already have. Time is

life’s great leveler. We all have the same allotment of twenty-four hours in a day.

What separates the people who create great lives from the also-rans is how they use

these hours.

Most of us live as if we have an infinite amount of time to do all the things we

know we must do to live a full and rewarding life. And so we procrastinate and put

the achievement of our dreams on hold while we tend to those daily emergencies

that fill up our days. This is a certain recipe for a life of regret. As novelist Paul

Bowles once wrote:

... because we don’t know [when we will die], we get to think of life as an

inexhaustible well. Yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a

very small number, really. How many more times will you remember a certain

afternoon of your childhood, some afternoon that’s so deeply a part of your being

that you can’t even conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four or five times

more. Perhaps not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon

rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems limitless.

Commit yourself to managing your time more effectively. Develop a keen sense of

awareness about how important your time really is. Don’t let people waste this most

precious of commodities and invest it only in those activities that truly count.

CHAPTER 38

Keep Your Cool“Anyone can become angry – that ‘s easy. But to be ANGRY with the right person,

to the right DEGREE, at the right TIME , for right purpose and in the right way –

that is not easy”, taught Aristotle. With all the stress and pressure in our lives, it is

easy to lose our cool at the slightest irritation. While we are rushing home from

work at the end of another exhausting day, we scream at the slow driver in front of

us who apparently has all the time in the world. While we shop at the grocery store,

we get annoyed with the stock clerk who sends us to the wrong aisle when we are in

search of the ingredients for tonight’s lasagna. And while we are eating our dinner,

we yell at the telemarketer who has the nerve to interrupt us in an attempt to sell us

their latest wares.

The problem with losing your temper on a daily basis is that it becomes a

habit. And like most habits, a time arrives when it becomes second nature. Personal

relationships starts unraveling, business partnerships begin to fall apart and your

credibility decreases as you become known as “a loose cannon.” Effective people

are consistent and in, in many ways, predictable. Tough times call for cool people

and they are always cool and calm when the pressure is on. Keeping your cool in a

moment of crisis can save you years of pain and anguish. Hurtful words unleashed

in a single minute of anger have led to many a broken friendship. Words are like

arrows: once released, they are impossible to retrieve. So choose yours with care.

An excellent way to control your temper is simply to count to 100 before you

respond to someone who has irritated you. Another strategy to use is what I call the

“Three Gate Test.” The ancient sages would only speak if the words they were about

to utter passed three gates. At the first gate, they asked themselves, are these words

truthful? If so, the words could then pass on to the second gate. At the second gate,

the sages asked, Are these words necessary? If so, they would then pass on to the

third gate, where they would ask, Are these words kind? If so, then only would they

leave their lips and be sent out into the world. “Treat people as if they were what

ought to be and help them become what they are capable being,” said the German

poet Johann Wolfgang von Goethe. These are wise words to live by.

CHAPTER 39

Recruit a Board of Directors

To succeed in these times of breakneck change, companies will often recruit a board

of directors to help them make more effective decisions and lead them in the right

direction during stormy times. By consulting men and women of wisdom these organizations reduce the number of mistakes they make, boost corporate

effectiveness and increase their credibility in the market place.

One client of mine has a different approach to the concept of having a board

of directors. A seasoned entrepreneur and a participant in one of the monthly life

coaching programs I conduct across the country, this woman told me that during her

periods of silent contemplation, she sits in a room with a pen and pad of paper and

writes down a problem that she is facing. Sometimes it involves a difficulty in

relationship, sometimes it concerns a money issue or at other times a struggle that is

more spiritual in nature.

Once in a state of deep relaxation, she then calls upon her personal board of

directors to help her solve problems. the twist ? The members of her board are no

longer alive. In her imagination, she seeks the wise counsel of many of history’s

greatest thinkers. When confronting a problem that requires a creative solution, she

asks Leonardo da Vinci/ “ How might you deal with this? On facing a challenge that

requires her to have more courage, she asks aviation pioneer Amelia Earhart, “What

would you do in this situation? “ And when the issue involves money, she asks the

late billionaire Sam, how would you handle this ?” This technique has truly worked

wonders for her, improved her creative thinking ability and kept her peaceful during

turbulent times.

Who would you invite to sit on your imaginary board of directors? Here are

some of the people I’d love to have on my council:

· Ben Franklin for guidance on issues involving character

· Albert Schweitzer to remind me of the importance of service to others

· Mahatma Gandhi and Nelson Mandela for leader ship issues

· Bruce Lee for advice on self-discipline

· Marie Curie for questions relating to innovation

· Viktor Frankl, famed holocaust survivor, for guidance about how to deal with

adversity.

CHAPTER 40

CURE YOUR MONKEY MIND

To get the best from life, you must be completely present ad mindful in every

minute in every hour of every day. As Albert Camus wrote, ”Real generosity

towards the future consists in giving all to what is preset.” Yet, on most days, our

minds are in ten different places at any one time. Rather than enjoying the walk to work, we wonder what the boss will say to us when we get to the officer what we

will have for lunch or how our children will do at school today. Our minds are like

scampering puppies or, as they say in the East, like unchained monkeys, rushing

from place to place without any pause for peace.

By developing present moment awareness and an abundance of mental focus,

you will not only feel much calmer in your life, you will also unlock the fullness of

your mind’s potential. When too many distraction compete for your attention, the

power of your mind is dissipated in all those different directions rather than

concentrated on one point like the rays of a laser beam. The good news is that you

can practice becoming more attentive to the present and develop this skill within a

relatively short period of time.

One of the best ways to cure your monkey mind is through a technique I call

“Focused Reading.” Every time your mind wanders from the page into a daydream

or a worry, make a checkmark in the righthand margin of the page. This simple act

will increase your awareness of how poorly you concentrate and, since awareness is

the first step to change, help you to build the skills you need for a clearer, quieter

mind.

CHAPTER 41

GET GOOD AT ASKING

“He who asks may be a fool for five minutes. He who doesn’t is a fool for a

lifetime,” goes the wise Chinese proverb. It makes me think of an ad I read in the

classifieds recently that said, “To the beautiful woman in the brown suede coat at

the drugstore at [street location provided] on Saturday, November 28 @ 4 p.m. You

bumped into me in front of the magazine section. I would love to-meet and chat.”

The man who placed this ad then left his phone number. Destiny had given him an

opportunity-possible to meet the woman of his dreams – and he had squandered it.

And now, after regretting the fact that he “did not ask,” he has had to resort to

placing an ad in the newspaper in the desperate hope of finding this woman.

The more you ask, the more you get, but it takes practice to get good at it.

Success is a numbers game. As the Buddhist sages observed, “Every arrow that hits

the bull’s eye is the result of one hundred misses.” Over the coming weeks, flex

your “asking muscles” by asking for a better table at your favorite restaurants, for a

free second scoop at your local ice cream shop or for a complimentary upgrade on

your next airline flight. You might be surprised at the abundance that will flow into your life when you just ask sincerely for the things you want. Remember, the person

who asks for what he wants at least has a chance of getting what he wants. The

person who does not ask has no chance. One of the best books I have read on the

power of asking is The Aladdin Factor, written by my friend and speaking

Colleague Mark Victor Hansen along with self-esteem expert Jack Canfield. Full of

practical ideas and simple techniques, the book also contains a wealth of inspiring

quotes like this one from Somerset Maugham: “It’s a funny thing about life; if you

refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.”

CHAPTER 42

Look for the Higher Meaning of Your Work

One of my favorite magazines is Fast Company. It provides refreshing human look

at the new world of work. In a recent issue, Xerox PARC guru John Seely Brown

said something that really made me think: “The job of leadership today is not just to

make money, it’s to make meaning.”

In the old days, most of us were content to have a job that simply paid the bills. But

now, we crave so much more in our work. We want fulfillment, creative challenge,

growth, joy and sense that we are living for something more than ourselves. In a

word, we seek meaning. One of the best ways to find the higher meaning in the

work you do is to use the technique of creative questioning to become aware of the

impact your work has on the world around you. Ask yourself questions like, who

ultimately benefits from the products and services my company offers? or What

difference do my daily efforts make? Once you do so, you will start noticing the

connection between the work you do and the lives you touch.

For example, if you are a teacher, stop focusing on all the tremendous changes in

your profession, and remember that every day you enter that classroom, you have

the privilege to shape a young mind. There are children and families that count on

you. If you are financial adviser, remain centered on the fact that your services help

people retire early, build the homes they have always wanted and fulfill their

dreams. If you are an insurance professional, remember that you help people bring

security to their lives and serve them in times of need. And if your are a retail clerk,

think about how your work serves people and how the products you offer them add

joy to their lives.

By concentrating on the value your work adds and the contribution you make, you

will see quantum improvements in your satisfaction and motivation levels. Few things energize the human spirit more than the desire to make a difference in the

lives of others. Mahatma Gandhi knew this. Nelson Mandela knew this. And Mother

Teresa knew this. The simple shift of mind I am encouraging you to make can bring

a whole new sense of enjoyment into your life.

CHAPTER 43

Build a Library of Heroic Books

Few things make me happier than meeting someone who has read my books or

listened to my audiotapes and hearing something like, “ I was so moved and inspired

after going through your material that I went out and bought ten more life

improvement books and read them all. And you know what, they have completed

transformed me.”

I not only write books on life leadership, I am a dedicated student of them. As I

mentioned in an earlier lesson, I spend countless hours in large bookstores combing

the shelves for the latest treasure that will enlighten and educate me. I also frequent

used-book shops where I have picked up some of my most valuable books for only a

few dollars (as I write this paragraph, I have a “preowned” copy of Maxwell Maltz’s

classic Psycho-Cybernetics on my desk, which stills bears the striker price of $2.95.

Also on my desk is a copy of Seneca’s Letters from a Stoic, a truly priceless work,

which was purchased by my dad for $1.95).

While almost any reading will improve your mind, in a world where there is too

much to do, you must be selective in the books you read. And so, I suggest you

spend much of your time reading what Thoreau called “ The Heroic Books” - those

books that contain “the noblest recorded thoughts of man.” Let your mind drink

deeply from the works of the great philosophers, such as Epictetus and Confucius.

Study the poems of the wisest poets, such as Alfred Lord Tennyson, Emily

Dickinson and John Keats, and the novels of Leo Tolstoy, Hermann Hesse and the

Brontes. Read the writings of Mahatma Gandhi, Albert Einstein and Mother Teresa.

Connecting with such works for even a few minutes a day will keep you centered on

what life is really about and will ultimately profoundly affect your character. Asked

in an interview what his biggest regret in life was, talk show superstar Larry King

replied, “I should have been better rooted in the great books.”

Here are some of the “heroic” books that helped me change my own life and gave

me the wisdom and inspiration to live more deliberately and completely. If you read all of them, and act on the lessons contained within their pages, you cannot help but

improve your circumstances profoundly.

Letters from a Stotic, Seneca

The Message of a Master, John McDonald

Meditations, Marcus Aurelius

The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin

University of Success, Og Mandino

The Magic of Believing, Claude Bristol

Siddartha, Hermann Hesse

Phycho-Cybernetics, Maxwell Maltz

The Power of Your Subconscious Mind, Joseph Murphy

As a Man Thinketh, James Allen

Flow, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill

Life is Tremendous, Charlie Tremendous Jones

Through the wonders of technology, you can view a fuller listing of my favorite

books at our website located at www.robinsharma.com

CHAPTER 44

Develop Your Talents

Norman Cousins once noted that “The Tragedy of life is not death, but what we let

die inside of us while we live.” In a similar vein, Ashley Montagu wrote that “The

deepest personal defeat suffered by human beings is constituted by the difference

between what one was capable of becoming and what one has in fact become.”

There is a difference between simply existing and truly living. There is a distinction

between simply surviving and really thriving. The sad thing is that most people have

lost sight of the human gifts that lie within them and have resigned themselves to

spending the best years of their lives watching television in a subdivision.

In my speeches, I often use the following story drawn from ancient Indian

mythology to remind the audience that there is an abundance of potential and ability

just waiting to be awakened within us if we will only allow it to see the light of day.

Thousands of years ago, it was believed that everyone who walked the earth was a

god. But humankind abused its limitless powers so the supreme god decided to hide

the godhead, the source of all of this potential, so that no one could find it. The

question then became, where could such a thing be hidden? The First adviser suggested it could be placed deep in the ground to which the supreme god replied,

“No, eventually someone will dig deep enough and find it.” The second adviser then

offered, “ What if we place the godhead at the bottom of the deepest ocean” to

which the supreme god responded, “No, eventually someone will dive deep enough

and find it.” The third adviser then chimed in, “Well, why don’t we put it on the top

of the highest mountain?” which prompted the supreme god to reply, “No, I’m

certain that eventually someone will scale that highest of peaks and find it.” After

reflecting for some time, the supreme god found the solution: “I will put this source

of all human power, potential and purpose inside the hearts of every man, woman

and child on the planet, for they will never think to look there.”

In all my work with employees of organizations across North America, I see the

same thing: too many people spend more time focusing on their weaknesses rather

than developing their strengths. By concentrating on what they don’t have, they

neglect the talents they do have. The greatest people who have gone before us all

had a simple strategy that ensured their success: they knew themselves. They made

the time to reflect on their core abilities – those special qualities that made them

unique – and spent the rest of their lives refining and expanding them. You see, we

are all endowed with the capacity for genius. Perhaps you have just not taken the

time to discover what your personal gifts are and then honed them to the level where

you are considered brilliant.

Are you using the best within you to its fullest capacity? If not, you are not only

doing yourself a disservice, you are doing the world, and all those within it who

could benefit from your unique talents, a disservice. Ruskin put it this way, “ The

weakest among us has a gift however seemingly trivial, which is peculiar to him and

which worthily used will be a gift also to his race.”

CHAPTER 45

Connect with Nature

We live in an age of seemingly limitless information. The weekday edition of the

New York Times contains more information than the average person was exposed to

during an entire lifetime in seventeenth- century England. Over the years, I have

found that spending time alone in natural surroundings connects me to the larger

universe around me and restore my spirit in this hurried age.

After a busy week of speaking engagements, book signings and media appearances,

the simple act of sitting in a wooded park and listening to the wind move through the leaves fills me with a sense of quiet and peace. My priorities become clearer, my

obligations seem less pressing and my mind grows still. Communing with nature is

also an excellent way to unlock your creativity and generate new ideas. Newton

formulated the laws of gravity while relaxing under an apple tree. Likewise Swiss

designer George de Mestral developed Velcro after examining the burdock burrs

that clung to his dog while he hiked in the mountains. Natural surroundings serve to

stifle the endless chatter that fills our minds so that our true brilliance can be

liberated.

And while you spend time enjoying nature, observe your surroundings with deep

concentration. Study the complexity of a flower or the way the current moves in a

sparkling stream. Take your shoes off and feel the grass under your feet. Give silent

thanks that you have the privilege of enjoying these special gifts of nature. Many

people do not. As Mahatma Gandhi observed, “ When I admire the wonder of a

sunset or the beauty of the moon, my soul expands in worship of the Creator.”

CHAPTER 46

Use Your Commute Time

If you commute to the office for thirty minutes each way every day, after one year

you will have spent the equivalent of six weeks of eight-hour days in your car.

Given this, can you really afford to spend all your time starting out the window and

daydreaming while the negative news blares from the car radio?

So many of the highly successful and enlightened people I know share a common

habit: they listen to audiocassettes in their cars. In doing so, they transform their

driving time into learning time and make their automobiles moving universities.

Turning your car into a “college on wheels” will be one of the best investments you

will ever make. Rather than arriving at work tired, frustrated and dispirited, listening

to educational audiocassettes will make your commute fun and keep you inspired,

focused and alert to the endless opportunities around you.

The best way to spot someone truly committed to life improvement is to ask him

whether his car radio is working. The real students of effective living will have no

clue because they spend every minutes of their driving time listening to audiotapes.

I cannot tell you how many times I have gone to get into the passenger seat of the

car of a successful and fulfilled person and found a small mountain of tapes

occupying the place where I was to sit. Most of the latest books can now be found

on audiocassette along with many of the best motivational programs and life leadership systems. Personally, I try to listen to at least five new tapes a month

ranging from the latest business bestsellers to programs on time management,

creativity, positive thinking, physical well-being and spiritual satisfaction.

CHAPTER 47

Go on a News Fast

Negative news sells. In our society, more people will choose to watch the criminal

trail of a celebrity rather than the biography of a truly great human being. A

newspaper with a headline revealing the latest tragedy will sell more copies than one

announcing the latest scientific break through. The real problem is that it is easy to

get addicted to reading and watching negative news. I know so many people who

begin their days by reading less than uplifting newspaper stories and who end them

by catching up on the latest c4imes, accidents and scandals on the late- night news.

I am not against newspapers or television by any stretch of the imagination.

As a matter of fact, I find excellent information in many newspapers and have

learned much from the intelligent TV programs I have watched over the years. My

point is simply this : become more selective in the news you expose your mind to .

Be more deliberate in the way you read your newspaper and in the way you watch

your television. Before you start reading the morning paper, have purpose in mind.

Use it as an information tool to serve you and to make wiser rather than as an serve

you and to make you wiser rather than as an excuse to help you pass time.

One of the best ways to wean yourself from the “news addiction” that so many of us

suffer from is to go on a seven-day news fast. Vow not to read even one negative

story in the newspaper or watch even one negative news report on television for the

next week. You will notice two things. First, you will not really miss out on much

information. You will still hear about the most important stories of the day from the

conversations that circulate around your office and through your encounters at

home. Second, you will feel much more peaceful and serene. As well, you will find

that the seven-day news fast offers yet another benefit: more time to do the things

that will truly improve the quality of your life.

CHAPTER 48

Get Serious About Setting Goals

Many speakers and authors encourage you to set goals but most have never

explained why this is such a powerful discipline beyond saying something like

”something magical happens when you write down your goals on paper.” In my opinion, setting clearly defined goals for all the areas of your life works for three

reasons. First, it restores a sense of focus in your world, a world that has become

complicated by too many options. In this age we live in, there are simply far too

many things to do at any given time. There are too many distractions that compete

for our attention. Goals clarify our desires and, in doing so, help us to focus on only

those activities that will lead us to what we want.

Setting clearly defined goals provides you with a frame-work for smarter choices. If

you know precisely where you are going, it becomes far easier to select those

activities that will get you there. Writing down your goals clarifies your intentions

(and the first step to realizing your vision is defining it). As novelist Saul Bellow

once observed, “A clear plan relieves you of the torment of choice.” Or as author

Glenn Bland wrote,” Goals and plans take the worry out of living.” If you set goals,

the actions you take will be based on your life’s mission rather than on your day-to

day moods.

The second reason that goal-setting works is that it keeps you alert to opportunities.

The discipline almost magnetizes your mind to seek out new opportunities,

opportunities that you need to seize in order to create the personal, professional and

spiritual life you desire. And the third reason goal-setting works is that clearly

defined goals commit you to a course of action. They give you the inspiration to act

on your priorities and make things happen in your life rather than waiting for

opportunities to land in your lap (which rarely happens). Selecting goals that engage

and motivate you is one of the best ways to boost the level of your personal

commitment of life and increase the energy you bring to your days. So set big goals.

You are only as rich, whether materially or spiritually, as your dreams. Or as

advertising genius David Ogilvy put it, “Don’t burn. Aim out of the ballpark. Aim

for the company of immortals.”

CHAPTER 49

Remember the Rule of 21

As I wrote in The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, it takes about 21 days to develop a

new habit. Yet most people give up on creating a positive life change after only the

first few days when they experience the stress and pain that is always associated

with replacing old behaviors with new ones. New habits are much like a new pair of shoes: for the first few days, they will feel uncomfortable. But if you break them in

for about three weeks, they will fit like a second skin.

As human beings, we are genetically programmed to resist change and maintain a

state of equilibrium. The condition, known as homeostasis, evolved naturally over

time as a means by which our ancestors could survive constantly changing

conditions. The problem is that the mechanism works to keep things as they are

even when more favorable possibilities exist. And that is why we have such

difficulty adopting new habits and overcoming the gravitational forces that prevent

us from moving to higher levels of living.

But just as a rocket uses more fuel during the first few minutes after lift-off than it

does over the days that follow when it will cover more than half a million miles,

once you get past those first 21 days you will find that staying on course with a new

habit will be far easier than you imagined. Take the time to study your personal

habits and promise to make the necessary changes. The quality of your life will be

determined in large measure by the nature of your habits. John Dryden observed,

“We first make our habits and then our habits make us,” while Virginia Woolf

wrote,” the skeleton of habit alone upholds the human frame.” So ensure that your

habits move you forward rather than hold you back. In the time-less words of

Publilius Syrus, “Powerful indeed is the empire of habit.”

CHAPTER 50

Practice Forgiveness

Forgiving someone who has wronged you is actually a selfish act rather than a

selfless one. Letting go of the hostility and hatred that you may have allowed to

bottle up inside you is actually something you do for yourself rather than for the

benefit of the other person. As I teach in my life-coaching programs, when you bear

a grudge against someone, it is almost as if you carry that person around on your

back with you. He drains you of your energy, enthusiasm and peace of mind. But the

moment you forgive him, you get him off your back and you can move on with the

rest of your life.

Mark Twain wrote that, “Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the

heel that crushed it.” Forgiveness is a great act of spirit and personal courage. It is

also one of the best ways to elevate the quality of your life. I have discovered that

every minute you devote to thinking about someone who has wronged you, is a minute you have stolen from a much worthier pursuits: attracting those people who

will help you.

CHAPTER 51

Drink Fresh Fruit Juice

The foods you consume affect your moods as well as the clarity of your thinking.

This is why the ancient sages ate only light foods. They knew that anything more

would disturb the perfectly peaceful minds they had worked so hard to cultivate and

disrupt their meditations on the true meaning of life.

If you owned an expensive Formula One race car, you wouldn’t think of fuelling it

with anything less than premium-grade gas. Anything else would reduce its

performance. So why would you put anything less than the best foods into your

body, which is an even more valuable performance vehicle? Eating the wrong foods,

in large quantities, will reduce your energy level, affect your health and prevent

your mind from serving you to its fullest capacity. Realizing that for every greasy

lunch you have, you will suffer a corresponding reduction in your level of

motivation and effectiveness is the first step to developing more disciplined eating

habits.

One of the best strategies I can share with you to boost both your energy level and

your mood is to get into the daily habit of drinking fresh fruit juice. On the counter

of our kitchen at home sits one of my prized possessions, one that has added years to

my life and life to my years. my juice machine. Investing in juicer and discovering

the life-giving value of fresh juice is a smart move. The juices you can make taste

great and I cannot begin to describe how wonderful you will feel once you start

drinking a glass of strawberry-apple or orange-grape juice every morning before you

leave for work. The best book I have found on the subject to juicing is The

Juiceman’s Power of Juicing by Jay Kordich. The recipes Kordich shares in this

book are worth the price alone.

CHAPTER 52

Create a Pure Environment

One of the timeless truths of successful living can be stated simply: your thoughts

form your world. What you focus on in your life grows, what you think about

expands and what you dwell on determines your destiny. Life is a self-fulfilling

prophecy- it gives you just about what you expect from it. As Helen Keller said,

“No sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit.” Given this principle, the first step to becoming a happier, more serene person is to

manage your thoughts and purify your thinking. One of the best ways to begin this

inner work is to improve the quality of your personal environment.

After a speech I gave to a large gathering in San Francisco, an elderly woman

slowly walked up to me and held my hand, as people in their golden years often do.

Looking straight into my eyes she said, ”Mr. Sharma, I’ve listened to your insights

for living a better life for the past hour and I agree with everything you’ve said. For

many years I have understood that our surroundings shape our moods, our thoughts

and our dreams. And so, in every room of my little house, I have a bouquet of

freshly cut flowers. I am not a wealthy woman. But this is one luxury I would never

do without.” This woman knew that a first class environment is an investment, not

an expense.

Take a good, hard look at your environment. Your thoughts are shaped by the

people you associate with, by the books you read, by the words you speak and by

your daily physical surroundings. Are you spending your time at work with negative

and cynical. Are you watching violent TV shows and mindless videos at home? If

so, your mind will grow restless and noisy. Is the space you work in bright, colorful

and inspiring? Over the coming weeks, take steps to make the environment you

work and live in a better one. You will quickly detect improvements in the way you

think, feel and act.

CHAPTER 53

Walk in the Woods

You will never go wrong by spending time enjoying nature. There is something

particularly special about walking in the woods. Your steps will feel lighter, a deep

sense of inner quiet will flood your entire body and your creativity will flourish. As

the famed Italian architect and painter Leonardo da Vinci said, “Through the

window of the eye, the soul regards the world’s beauty ... Who would believe that a

small scene of nature could contain the images of the universe?”

My favorite time of year is autumn. The leaves on the trees reflect the brilliant

colors of the season and it’s the perfect time for long walks in the woods. Away

from the noise of city, the values I hold dearest grow clearer and I can contemplate

some of life’s larger questions, questions that never seem to get answered in the normal crush of the daily routine. I can stop by a small stream and relax on a moss

covered rock or inhale the fragrances that only those who walk in the woods truly

experience.

When I leave this oasis of nature, I am a new man. I’m more alert, more energized

and more alive. Many of the great wisdom traditions have emphasized the

restorative power of regular walks in the woods. This life-giving discipline never

fails to yield a bounty of welcome results.

CHAPTER 54

Get a Coach

One of the most effective ways to improve your personal and professional

effectiveness and to rise to a new level of excellence is to find a mentor to coach

you. Success in business and in life is a “connect the dots” process. All you need to

do is find out the habits, disciplines and strategies that other have used to obtain

their results and connect the dots by duplicating their actions. Once you follow the

steps they have taken, in the order they have taken them in, you are bound to get the

same results. A personal coach can illuminate your path, encourage you when times

get tough and shave years off your learning curve.

In my own life, I have been blessed with many mentors, people who have shown me

the fundamentals of effective living and guided me in the right direction when I

reached a crossroad. I found most of these special advisers by asking people whom I

admired one of the most powerful questions in all of the English language, “Would

you please help me?” Not one of the people I approached refused to offer me the

gift of their knowledge and the benefit of their experience. Many of my mentors

have since become valued friends and my life would not by what it now is without

them.

Coaching has become one of the most important elements to a complete program of

personal and professional excellence. People from all walks of life have recognized

this as one of the best ways to create positive changes and lasting results in their

lives. As an executive in one of the monthly life-coaching programs I offer in cities

across the country recently said, “Inspirational books helped me to define my

dreams. Being in your personal coaching program showed me precisely how to

achieve them, while bringing back the balance in my life.”CHAPTER 55

Take a Mini-Vacation

While you cannot go on a major vacation every week, you certainly can go on a

minor one. A mini-vacation begins with closing the door of your office, holding all

calls and relaxing in your chair. Then close your eyes and begin taking deep breaths.

Once you feel deeply at peace, begin to imagine you are at your favorite vacation

spot. Vividly see the colors, hear the sounds and feel the emotions that this special

place evokes. After only a few minutes of this mental escape, you will be

rejuvenated, ready for the rest of the day ahead.

When I take my mini-vacations, I picture myself walking through a mountain

meadow. I visualize my feet on the dewy grass and savor the splendor of the snow

capped mountain that frame this ideal scene. In the background, I hear the sound of

water from a water-fall and imagine what the flowers that fill this field smell like.

Our minds are extremely potent devices. The subconscious mind cannot tell the

difference between an image that we envision and one that is real. So this little

technique actually fools it into thinking we are taking this quick break from our

daily routines and invokes many of the wonderful physical benefits of a real

vacation.

CHAPTER 56

Become a Volunteer

I find a great deal of wisdom in the ancient Persian proverb “ I wept because I had

no shoes until I saw a man who had no feet.” It is so easy to magnify our problems

and lose sight of the many blessings we all have to be so very grateful for. Giving

the gift of your time by volunteering to serve those who have less than you is an

excellent way to remind yourself on a regular basis of the abundance that exists in

your life.

After a keynote speech on leadership I delivered to the sales team of a large

insurance company, a man came up to me and told me he was one of the firm’s top

producers. One of the reasons for his success, he said, was his habit of spending a

few hours a week helping those less fortunate than he was. “Seeing what others

don’t have keeps me awake to all the good thing I do have. It prevents me from

taking things for granted and, even more importantly, helps me make a difference in

the lives of people who really need me.”French physician Albert Schweitzer observed, “I don’t know what your destiny will

be but one thing I do know The only ones among you who will be happy are those

who have sought and found how to serve.” And Anne Morrow Lindberg wrote,

“One can never pay in gratitude; one can only pay ‘in kind’ somewhere else in life.”

Volunteering affords you the chance to help others and pay back the dept owed to

those who have helped you.

CHAPTER 57

Find Your Six Degrees of Separation

In John Guare’s play Six Degrees of Separation, the character Ouisa has a

conversation with her daughter Tess in which she offers the following insight:

I read somewhere that, everybody on this planet is separated by only six people. Six

degrees of separation. Between us and everybody else on this planet. The president

of the United States. A gondolier in Venice. Fill in the names. I find that a)

tremendously comforting that we’re so close. Because you have to find the right six

people to make the connection. It’s a profound thought how every person is a new

door, opening up into other worlds. Six degrees of separation between me and

everyone else on this planet. But to find the right six people.

Ouisa was right. It is profound to think that you and I are separated from all the

other people living on this planet by at most six people. She was also right in noting

the real challenge: finding the right six people to connect you to the person you need

to know.

One of the things I have done in my own life is to create what I call a Hero List, that

is, a list of one hundred men and women I would most like to meet before I die.

Since the law of attraction says that we attract into our life that which we focus on,

this list is a tool use to help me connect to the people I most admire. On more than

one occasion, the Six Degrees of Separation principle has helped me find the right

sequence of individuals who have led me to the person I’ve wanted to meet. And I

am continually astounded by how many of the individuals on my list, which

includes celebrities, business leaders, and other professional speakers, seem to cross

my path in an airport or to be speaking at the same conference that I am or are

having lunch at the same place that I am. The very act of listing my heroes seems to

create a heightened sense of awareness that helps me spot them when they are close

at hand.CHAPTER 58

Listen to Music Daily

In the most memorable scene of the wonderful movie Jerry Maguire, Tom Cruise’s

character, a hard-driving sports agent, has just signed up one of the hottest draft

picks in football. As he drives away from the athlete’s home in a state of utter joy,

he impatiently searches from station to station on his car radio for the kind of song

he can turn up loud and sing along to at the top of his lungs. Finally, to his great

delight, he finds it- Tom Petty’s hit “Free Falling.” And he begins to sing his heart

out.

Do you remember those times when you heard just the right song at just the right

moment? Like Jerry Maguire, you started singing out loud and dancing with

reckless abandon. In those moments, you felt fully alive, full of energy and truly

happy. And all because you heard a few chords strung together in the right

sequence. Music can do that to you. Music can lift your mood, put the smile back on

your face and add immeasurably to your quality of life.

Get serious about listening to music that inspires you. Build a collection of your

favorite pieces and play something that fills your heart with joy every single day of

the week. For me, some moods call for a soothing piece of classical music or a soft

jazz selection. When I’m writing a new book, for example, I will often listen to

Johann Pachelbel’s “Canon in D” or jazz legend Chet Baker’s “Round Midnight’

compilation. If you have attended one of my seminars, you might have recognized

the more upbeat music played before I step onto the stage. Even when I travel, I

bring along my Walkman and listen to inspiring music such as the soundtracks to

the movies Braveheart and Everest on the plane. Listening to even a few minutes of

music every day is simple yet exceptionally powerful way to mange your moods and

remain at your best.

CHAPTER 59

Write a Legacy Statement

Someone once said to me that the first fifty years of life are dedicated to building

one’s legitimacy while the last fifty are devoted to building one’s legacy. How true.

So many of us spend the first half of our lives striving for achievement and

struggling to gain respect. Once we have this legitimacy, whether it comes in the form of prestige or material possessions, we soon realize that something is missing.

We then spend the remaining years of our lives trying to do what we should have

done from the beginning : create a legacy.

One day, my father posted a poem on the door of our fridge. It had been translated

from Sanskrit and it read simply, “Spring has past, summer has gone and winter is

here. And the song that I meant to sing remains unsung. I have spent my days

stringing and unstringing my instrument.” These words were written by a man

whose heart was filled with regret over a life half lived. Rather than singing the

great song he was destined to sing, he spent his day preparing and waiting until

things were just right before he acted – “stringing and unstringing his instrument,”

in his words. Sadly, that time never came.

The time to start building your legacy is today, not ten years from today when you

“have more time,” because we both know that time will never arrive. Reflect on

what it is you want to create in your life and, more importantly, what gift you wish

to leave the world when you are no longer here. Greatness comes from beginning

something that does not end with you. To help me see my own life’s legacy more

clearly, I have written a personal legacy statement. While many of the corporate

executives I work with have personal mission statements, few have considered

scripting individual legacy statements. While the former defines your vision what

you want to create while you live, the latter expresses what you aim to leave when

you die. There is a distinction between the two. If you think about it, it will help you

avoid feeling regret, sadness and disappointment about what could have been when

you reach the end of your life.

CHAPTER 60

Find Three Great Friends

Cultivating great friendships is one of the surest ways to find more happiness and

joy in your life. Recent studies show that those with a wide circle of friends and

family live longer, laugh more and worry less. But friendships, like all other good

things in life, take time, energy and commitment. Having said this, few things will

offer greater rewards. As one philosopher wrote many centuries ago, “There is

nothing in the world more valuable than friendship. Those who banish it from their

lives remove as it were the sun from the earth, because of all of nature’s gifts, it is

the most beautiful and the most pleasing.”As I grew up, my father often said that the person with three great friends is a rich

person indeed. I have never forgotten this advice and encourage you to take it to

heart as well. To build deeper friendships, you must be willing to move out of your

comfort zone, break the ice with people you might not know very well and show

sincere warmth. If you plant the seeds of friendship, you are bound to receive a rich

harvest of great friends. At a cocktail party, have the courage to walk over to

someone you would like to get to know better and introduce yourself. Every human

being has a deep need for affection and most people will be delighted you took the

initiative. And if they do not respond to you, so what? Rather than viewing it as

rejection, see it as their loss and politely move on to the next person who can benefit

from all you have to offer.

A while ago, my mother’s car had a flat tire while she was on her way to do an

errand. She asked a stranger who was watering the lawn in front of her house

whether she would mind if Mom left her car in their driveway while she walked to

the gas station nearby to get help. The woman said she didn’t mind and so my

mother left. After returning and having the flat tire repaired, Mom went to the front

door of the house and warmly thanked the owner for her kindness. The woman, in

turn, invited my mother in for a cup of tea. Over the next hour, the two of them

discovered they had grown up in the same town, gone to the same school and knew

many of the same people. A great friendship developed simply because my mother

took the initiative to make a new friend.

CHAPTER 61

Read The Artist’s Way

We are all creative beings. When I first saw The Artist’s Way on the shelf of my

favorite bookstore years ago when I was still practicing law, I did not pick it up. At

that time, I believed it was only for “artists” and that I would, therefore, not benefit

from it. Over time, however, I realized that every single one of us has an almost

limitless wellspring of creativity on a daily basis to get the most from life, whether

we are lawyers, homemakers, teachers, business executives, poets or musicians. The

realization that I, as lawyer, was a creative being created a whole new awareness

for me.

I started to attend seminars on creativity. I also read more books on the subject and

searched for ways I could express this natural creativity to improve the way that I lived personally, professionally and spiritually. Eventually, my search led me to

write my first book.

Read The Artist’s Way and have the self-discipline to go through each of the

thoughtful exercises the author, Julia Cameron, suggests you do. Unlocking your

creative spirit will fuel your upward path of self-discovery and make every single

one of your days far more fulfilling.

CHAPTER 62

Learn to Meditate

The French mathematician Blaise Pascal wrote, “All man’s miseries derive from not

being able to sit quietly in a room alone.” We have become experts at filling our

lives with noise and activities. We wake up to the sound of the radio blaring and

dress while the television news is on. We drive to work listening to the latest traffic

report and spend the next eight hours in a bustling office. When we come home, at

the day’s end, we delve into the evening’s activities against the background sound

of the television, ringing phones and humming computers. Pascal was right: most of

our miseries do stem from the fact that we have lost sight of the importance of being

silent, for even a short period, everyday of our lives.

Without the ability to concentrate, a full and complete life is not possible. If you

lack the mental focus to stay with one activity for any length of time, you will never

be able to achieve your goals, build your dreams or enjoy life’s process. Without a

disciplined mind, trivial thoughts and worries will nag at you and you will never

have the capacity to immerse yourself in more meaningful pursuits. Without deep

concentration, your mind will be your master rather than your servant.

My own life changed the day I learned to meditate. Meditation is not some New

Age practice reserved for monks sitting atop mountains. On the contrary, meditation

is an age-old technique that was developed by some of the world’s wisest people to

gain full control of the mind and, in doing so, to manifest its enormous potential for

worthy pursuits. Meditation is a method to train your mind to function the way it

was designed to function. And here’s the key benefit: the peace and tranquility you

will feel after twenty minutes of daily meditation will infuse every remaining

minute of your day. You will be more patient in your relationships, more serene at

the office and more happy when you are alone. Meditation will make you a far

better parent, life partner, businessperson and friend. You cannot afford not to

discover the power of this five- thousand – years- old mind training discipline.CHAPTER 63

HAVE A LIVING FUNERAL

When I was doing research for the Monk Who sold His Ferrari, I came across

the story of an Indian Maharaja who would engage in a bizaree morning ritual :

every day, immediately after waking up , he would celebrate his own funeral,

complete with music and flowers. All the wile he would chant, “ I have lived fully ,

I have lived fully, I have lived fully.”

When I first read this, I could not understand the purpose of this man’s ritual.

So I asked my father for some guidance. His reply was this “ “Son, what this

Maharaja is doing is connecting to his mortality every day of his life so he will live

each day as if it were his last. His ritual is a very wise one and reminds him of the

fact that live life greatly is not tomorrow but today”

One’s sense of mortality is a great source of wisdom. While on his deathbed,

Plato was asked by a friend to summarize his great work, The Dialogues. After

much refection, he replied in only two words: “ Practice dying.” The ancient

thinkers had a saying that captured the point Plato made in other terms: “Death

ought to be right there before the eyes of those who are young just as much as

before the eyes of those who are very old. Every day, therefore, should be regulated

as if it were the one that brings up the rear, the one that rounds out and completes

our lives. “ Having a living funeral will reconnect you to the fact that time is

priceless commodity and the best time to live a richer, wiser and more fulfilling life

is now.

CHAPTER 64

STOP COMPLAINING AND START LIVING

Stop complaining about having no time for yourself and get up an hour

earlier. You have the option, why not exercise it ? Stop complaining about not being

able to exercise given all that is on your plate these days. If you sleep seven hours a

night and work eight hours every day, you still have more than sixty – three hours of

free time every week to do all the things you want to do. This amounts to 252 hours

every month and 3,024 hours every single year to spend on life’s pursuits. There has

never been a more exciting time to be alive in the history of the world you have the

choice to seize the boundless possibilities that every day presents. If you are not as fulfilled or as happy or as prosperous or a peaceful as you

know you could be, stop blaming your parents or the economy or your boss and take

full responsibility for your circumstances. This will be the first step to a completely

new way of looking at your life and the starting points of a better way of live. As

George Bernard Shaw said, “ The people who get on in this world are the people

who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them,

make them”.

Make wiser choices about the thoughts you will allow to enter your mind, as

well as the attitude you will bring to your days and the way you will spend the hours

of your time. Stop complaining and start living. In the words of the poet Rudyard

Kipling, “If you can fill the unforgiving minute with Sixty seconds’ worth of

distance run, yours is the earth and everything that’s in it”.

CHAPTER 65

Increase Your Value

In the new economy you now find yourself in, you will be compensated not

by how hard you work but by how much value you add to the world around you.

Think about it. If you are currently being paid twenty dollars an hour, this money is

being given to you not simply because you showed up at your desk for those sixty

minutes but because you have added twenty dollars worth of perceived value during

those sixty minutes. So, the monetary reward you receive is determined not by how

long you work but by how much value you add.

This is why a brain surgeon is paid so much more than a McDonald’s

employee. Is the brain surgeon a better person? Not necessary. Is the brain surgeon a

harder worker? Probably not. Is the brain surgeon smarter? Who knows? But one

thing is certain: the brain surgeon has accumulated far more specialized knowledge

and specific know-how than the McDonald’s employee. There are far fewer people

who can do what the brain surgeon does and, as a result, the brain surgeon is

perceived as far more valuable to the marketplace. This is why the brain surgeon is

paid over ten times more than the person who flips burgers. Money simply becomes

a symbol for how much value each person has added to the world at large.

So to be paid more money in your work, you must add more value to the

world. And the best way to begin adding value to the world is to start becoming a

more valuable person. Acquire skills no one else has. Read books no one else is

reading. Think thoughts no one else is thinking. Or, to put it another way, you cannot have all that you want if you remain the person you are. To get more from

life, you need to be more in life.

CHAPTER 66

Be a Better Parent

The way you raise your children is the way you raise your future generations.

Since few of us have had formal training in the fine art of parenting, most of us

simply treat our children the way our parents treated us. We know of no other way

to do it.

Although being a parent is a great joy, it is also a privilege that involves

tremendous responsibility. While I would do anything for my two children, that

willingness is not enough. We need to develop the skills of excellent parents. We

cannot just hope that the way we are raising our kids is the right way and pray that

we will be lucky enough that they become thoughtful, caring and wise adults. We

must take the initiative to improve our parenting abilities by attending seminars,

reading books and listening to audiocassettes by the leading thinkers in this field.

Then we must have the courage to keep trying to refine the ideas we learn in the

laboratory of our own lives in order to find the parenting strategies that best suit our

families.

I know your life is busy and there is too much to do in too little time. But

those miraculous years of your sons’ and daughters’ childhoods will never come

again. And if you do not devote the time and effort to becoming the best parent you

know you can be, one day you will deeply regret the lost opportunity. As one father

who attended a seminar I gave in Toronto said, ”When my son was growing up, he

constantly asked me to give him piggyback rides. Though I knew how much be

loved them, I was always too busy to play with him. I had reports to read or

meetings to attend or calls to make. Now that he has grown up and left our home, I

have realized one thing: I would give anything in the world to give that little boy a

piggyback ride.”

CHAPTER 67

Be Unorthodox

Rousseau wrote, “Take the course opposite to custom, you will almost always

do well.” The brilliant ads for Apple computers inspire us to “Think Different.” Or

as I tell audiences at my leadership speeches, “If you follow the crowd, the place

you will most likely end up at is the exit.” To live a richer, more rewarding life, it is essential that you run your own race. Stop bending to the uniqueness. When you

study the lives of the world’s most enlightened and effective people, you will see

that they did not care about what other people thought of them. Rather than letting

public opinion dictate their actions, they had the courage to let their hearts drive

them. And in taking the road less traveled, they found success beyond their wildest

dreams.

One of the best quotations about the importance of being unorthodox comes

from Christopher Morley, who said, “Read every day something no one else is

reading. Think every day something no one else is thinking. It is bad for the mind to

be always part of unanimity.” And perhaps the very best one comes from Emerson:

“It is easy in the world to live after the world’s opinion; it is easy in solitude to live

after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with

perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.”

Over the next month, rethink the way you do things. Don’t just do things

because everyone else does them. Do the things that are right for you. Being

different for all the right reason is a wise way to live. Just ask Einstein, Picasso,

Galileo or Beethoven.

CHAPTER 68

Carry a Goal Card

Time and time again, I have witnessed high-functioning, top-performing men

and woman carrying a little goal card in their wallets that they can review during the

quieter moments of their day. The card simply lists their top life goals along with

clear deadlines for achieving them. The discipline of reconnecting to your highest

priorities, whether they are personal, professional or spiritual, is a smart one.

Montaigne said, “The great and glorious masterpiece of men is to live to the

point.” The wisdom of life so succinctly expressed. And yet most of us live our lives

like one long air raid drill, filling our days with activities that seem important in the

moment but that count for little in the overall scheme of our lives. As I wrote in

Leadership Wisdom from The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, the person who tries to

do everything ultimately accomplishes nothing. Having a goal card and coming back

to it three or four times a day will keep your mind centered on the things that truly

count. It will foster the self-control you need to concentrate only on activities that

advance your goals, give you the discipline to say no to all the rest and, in so doing, restore focus to your days. I promise you that if you spend your life focusing on

only the worthiest pursuits, it is certain to end in complete joy.

CHAPTER 69

Be More than Your Moods

For much of my life, I believed my thoughts were beyond my control. They

just entered my mind automatically and did whatever they wished to do. Even

worse, I believed that I was my thoughts. Thankfully, I discovered that nothing

could be further from the truth. We are not our thoughts. Instead, we are the

thinkers of our thoughts. We are the creators of the thoughts that flow through our

minds and, given this fact, we can change our thoughts if we choose to do so.

This seemingly obvious insight was an epiphany for me. I soon became far

more aware of the thoughts I allowed into my mind and the inner dialogue that takes

place within every one of us every waking hour of every living day. I began to pay

complete attention to the quality of my thoughts. This awareness was the first step to

changing them. Over a matter of months, I trained my mind to focus only on

positive, inspiring and enlightening thoughts. And in doing so, I saw the outer

circumstances of my life change.

Just as you are not thoughts, you are not your moods. You are the creator of

the moods you experience, moods that you can change in a single instant. If you

choose to do so, you can feel peace in a moment of stress, joy in a time of sadness

and energy during a time of fatigue.

CHAPTER 70

Savor the Simple Stuff

No one gets to take his possessions with him when he dies. I have yet to see a

moving van following a hearse to a funeral. At the end of the day, the only thing we

can take with us are our memories of all those great life experiences that add

meaning to our lives. Given this, I would rather spend my days doing things that

will leave me happy memories than collecting possessions.

I have discovered that my best memories come from life’s simplest things.

The day my daughter Bianca learned to walk, my son Colby’s first Christmas

concert where he spent more time waving to his proud dad in the audience than

singing the assigned song, the day our family played soccer in the rain and the

evening we barbequed hot dogs under the full harvest moon. Dale Carnegie wrote, “One of the most tragic things I know about human

nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical

rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside

our windows today. “Have the wisdom to savor the simple things. The wonderful

memories that they bring will add more value to your life than any of the material

toys we spend so much life energy pursuing. As Emma Goldman noted, “I’d rather

have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck.”

CHAPTER 71

Stop Condemning

Like the vice of complaining discussed earlier, it is easy to fall into the habit of

condemning others, even those we love most. We criticize the way someone eats or

the manner in which she speaks. We focus on the most minute details and find fault

with the smallest of issues. But what we focus on grows. And if we keep focusing on

a small weakness in someone, it will continue to grow in our minds until we

perceive it to be a big problem in that person.

Would you really want to live in a world where every-one looked, acted and

thought exactly as you do/ It would be a pretty boring place. To live a happier, more

peaceful life, begin to see that the richness of our society comes from its diversity.

What makes relationships, communities and countries great are not the things that

we have in common but the differences that make us unique. Rather than looking for

things to criticize in those around you, why not begin to respect the differences.

Often, we perceive in others the weaknesses we most need to address within

ourselves. Stop blaming and condemning. Accept complete responsibility for the

way things are and resolve to work on changing yourself before seeking to change

others. This is one of the truest measures of a person of strong character. As Erica

Jong said, “Take your life into your own hands and what happens. A terrible thing:

no one to blame.”

CHAPTER 72

See Your Day as Your Life

The days come and go like muffled and veiled figures sent from a distant, friendly

party, but they say nothing, and it we do not use the gifts they bring, they carry them

as silently away, “Observed Emerson. As you live your days, so you will live your

life. It is easy to get caught up in the trap of thinking that this day does not matter

much given all the days that lie ahead of you. But a great life is nothing more than a series of great, well0lived days strung together like a beautiful necklace of pearls.

Every day counts and contributes to the quality of the end result. The past is gone,

the future is but a figment, so this day is really all you can own. Invest it wisely.

Your life is not a dress rehearsal. Lost opportunities rarely come again. Today,

vow to increase your passion for living and multiply the commitment you will bring

to each of the days that will follow this one. Many people think that it takes months

and years to change your life.

Respectfully, I disagree. You change your life the second you make a decision

from the depths of your heart to be a better, more dedicated human being. What

takes the months and years are the efforts you must apply to maintain that decision.

And the best life change decision you will ever make is the one to live every

moment of your days to the fullest. As golf legend Ben Hogan said, “As you walk

down the fairway of life, you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one

round.”

CHAPTER 73

Create a master Mind Alliance

In his brilliant book, Think and Grow Rich, self-help pioneer Napoleon Hill advises

readers to form a “mastermind” group if they aim to improve the quality of their

lives and get what they want. He defines the mastermind alliance in these terms:

“Coordination of knowledge and effort, in a spirit of harmony, between two or more

people, for the attainment of a definite purpose.” Hill adds, “No two minds ever

come together in a spirit of harmony without, thereby, creating a third, invisible,

intangible force which may be likened to a third mind.”

Many of the successful people I personally coach or whom I have met at my

seminars have told me that one of the single best things they did to help them create

both the business and personal lives they wanted was to form their own mastermind

alliance. In doing so, they not only developed a personal support network and some

great friendships, they tapped into specialized knowledge and accumulated wisdom

they ordinarily would never have had access to.

To form your own mastermind alliance find three or four people you feel you

could learn from and who would get along well with the others of the group. The

alliance is all about mutual benefit so you must be able to give as much as you

expect to receive. Approach your prospective members and arrange to start meeting

once a week-early morning meetings are the best as they force each member to show his commitment to the group. With the advances in technology, you no longer

have to meet in person although this will be important to do every so often.

Telephone conference calls, electronic communication and even faxes will work. At

the appointed time discuss the challenges you are facing and ask for the group’s

input. Discuss the success principles and life lessons that have proved their

effectiveness time and time again along with ways to live with greater balance

fulfillment and inner peace. A mastermind alliance will not only cut your learning

curve in the game of life, it will help you have much more fun playing it.

CHAPTER 74

Create a Daily Code of Conduct

It is easy to live your life like a leaf in the fall wind, moving in whatever direction

the wind blows that day to create a great life, you must live more intentionally,

deliberately and passionately so that you live on your own terms rather than on

someone else’s. The real challenge is that with so much to do, it is easy to allow life

to act on you and watch the days quickly slip into week, then into months and

finally into years. But I have a solution.

In my own life I have created what I call my Daily Code of conduct. It is

simply three paragraphs containing the values, virtues and vows I have determined

through much reflection that I need to live by in order for my life to be a fulfilling

one. For example, part of the first paragraph states, “Over the next twenty-four

hours I vow to appreciate this day, as it is all I really have, and to use every minute

wisely and fully. So much can be done over the next twenty-four hours to advance

my life’s agenda and complete my legacy. I will, throughout this day, remember that

this day could be my last and that no great person ever died with their music still

within them. “My code then outlines my dearest values and vows as they relate to

my family, my community and myself.

Reading my Daily Code of conduct at the very beginning of the day, during

the “Base Camp” period I described in an earlier lesson, reminds me of the things

that matter most in my life and reconnects me to my highest priorities, priorities that

are so easily forgotten in the blur of daily events. After reading my code, I feel

energized, committed and ready to go out into the world with a renewed sense of

purpose and focus. Creating your own Daily Code of conduct will do the same for

you.

CHAPTER 75Imagine a Richer Reality

Albert Camus once wrote, “In the midst of winter, I found there was within me an

invincible summer. “We really don’t discover how powerful and resilient we are

until we face some adversity that fills our minds with stress and our hearts with

pain. Them we realize that we all have within us the courage and the capacity to

handle even the greatest curves life may throw our way.

Many of the men and women who attend my leadership seminars come to me

after the session and reveal the challenges they face in their lives. Some speak of

difficulties they have motivating their employees in these uncertain times. Others

speak of inner longings and the need to find a greater sense of meaning and

fulfillment through their work. And still others ask me for advice on how to restore

balance within their personal lives. My response always begins with the same

lesson: to improve your life, you must first improve your thinking. Or as the old

saying goes, “We see the world not as it is but as we are.”

Our greatest human endowment is the ability to reframe and re-interpret a

difficult circumstance in a more enlightened and empowering way. Dogs cannot do

this. Cats cannot do this. Monkeys cannot do this. This gift belongs only to us and is

part of what makes us human. Blaming our circumstances for the way we feel is

nothing more than excusing ourselves. In handling any problem, we must have the

courage to assume a measure of responsibility for whatever situation we are in and

then realize that we also have the capacity to use the setback to our advantage. Life’s

greatest setbacks always reveal life’s biggest blessings.

CHAPTER 76

Become the CEO of Your Life

“If it’s going to be, it’s up to me” is a wonderful mantra. I recently read in a

newspaper that fully 10 percent of the population is betting they will win the lottery

to finance their retirement. Too many people are leaving the quality of their futures

to chance rather than to choice. It reminds me of the habit my brother had as a kid.

When he saw that a glass was about to fall off a counter, rather than rushing to save

it from falling, he would cover his ears with his hands so he could not hear it smash.

(He has since grown up and become a Harvard-trained eye doctor, so his unique

habit does not appear to have held him back all that much.)

This anecdote’s point of wisdom is simply this: we need to keep our ears and

eyes open to the realities of life. If we don’t act on life and take action to make things happen, it will act on us and give us results we might not want. this is one of

the natural laws that has governed humanity for thousands of years. To become

more proactive during the weeks ahead, begin to see yourself as the chief executive

officer of your destiny, the CEO of your life. All effective CEOs realize that “if it’s

going to be, it’s up to me” and act as the catalysts of their own dreams. Similarly, if

you want something done, rather than waiting for luck to look your way, take steps

to get it done. If there is someone you know could help you solve a problem or seize

an opportunity, pick up the phone and call him or her. Remember, you can make

excuses or you can make progress, but you cannot do both.

When I was practicing law, I would make a forty-five-minute journey on a

commuter train to my office in a downtown tower. Every day, a man would sit in

front of me who I came to see as a model of the Become the CEO of Your Life

principle. Instead of sleeping or daydreaming like most of the other people on the

train, this man decided to use his forty-five minutes to exercise. From the moment

he sat down until the moment we arrived at the station, he would do arm stretches,

neck rolls and a series of rigorous exercises to improve his health. Rather than

joining the legion of people who complain they don’t have enough time to work out,

he took matters into his own hands and took charge of the opportunity. Sure he

looked a little silly. But who cares what others think when you know that what you

are doing is the right thing to do.

Seeing yourself as the CEO of your life can create a fundamental shift in the

way you perceive your world. Instead of sailing through life as a passenger, you

become the captain of the ship, leading things in the direction you choose to move

in rather than reacting to the whim of the changing tides. And as you take greater

control of your life, reflect on William James’s inspiring words: “Humankind’s

common instinct for reality has always held the world to be essentially a theater for

heroism.

CHAPTER 77

Be Humble

One of the traits I respect most in people is humility. “The tree that has the most

fruit is the tree that bends to the ground,” my father taught me as I was growing up.

And though there are some exceptions, I have found in my own experience that it is true-the people who know the most, who have achieved the most and who have lived

the most are also the people closest to the ground. In a word, they are humble.

There is something special about being in the presence of a person who is

humble. Practicing humility shows that you respect others and reminds us that there

is so much for us yet to learn. It sends a signal to those around you that you are open

to receiving the gift of their knowledge and listening to what they have to say.

I have had the privilege of meeting many famous people in my life. One of

my biggest thrills was meeting the world champion boxer Muhammad Ali. Contrary

to the cocky and loud image he cultivated in the media in person he was a true

gentleman and the very model of humility. When I had the good fortune to meet him

in Los Angeles, he asked more questions about me than I asked about him. He spoke

softly and radiated a warmth and decency that spoke volumes about the man he is

Muhammad Ali taught me that the more you are as a person, the less you need to

prove yourself to others.

CHAPTER 78

Don’t Finish Every Book You Start

It is so easy to feel compelled to finish every book you start. A great sense of guilt

fills our minds if we do not reach the end of that book we used our hard-earned

dollars to buy. But not every book deserves to be read in its entirety. As Francis

Bacon said, “Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to

be chewed and digested: that is, some books are to be read only in parts, others to be

read, but not curiously, and some few books to be read wholly, and with diligence

and attention.”

I myself was guilty of feeling the need to read every book I picked up from

beginning to end. I soon found that not only did my reading pile become

unmanageable but I began to enjoy the pastime of reading less. Once I decided I

would be more selective about which books I actually completed, I not only got

through more of them. I found I learned more from each one.

If you find that after reading the first three chapters of a book, you have not

gained any worthwhile information or that the book has failed to keep your

attention, do yourself a favor put the book away and make better use of your time

(lime reading the next book in your pile).

CHAPTER 79

Don’t Be So Hard on YourselfIt is easy to spend much of your days beating up on yourself for past mistakes. We

analyze that relationship that failed and relentlessly review all the things we did

wrong. Or we look at that business decision that cost us so much and dwell on the

things we could have done right. Once and for all stop being so hard on yourself.

You are a human being and human beings have been designed to make mistakes. As

long as you don’t keep making the same errors and have the good judgment to let

your past serve you, you will be on the right track. Accept them and move on. As

Mark Twain wrote, “we should be careful to get out of an experience only the

wisdom that is in it-and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot

stove lid. It will never sit down on a hot stove lid again-and that is well; but also it

will never sit down on a cold one anymore.”

Coming to the realization that we all make mistakes and that they are essential

to our growth and progress is liberating. WE lost the need to be perfect and adopt a

saner way of viewing our lives. We can begin to glow through life the way a

mountain stream flows through a leafy forest, powerfully yet gracefully. We can

finally be at peace with our true nature.

An excellent way to rise to higher level of enlightenment and personal

wisdom is to make a list of the ten biggest mistakes you have made in your life on

the left hand side of a page within your journal. Then, on the right hand side, write

down the corresponding lessons you have learned from every mistake and the

benefits that actually flowed into your life as a result of those so-called failures. You

will soon see that your life would not be as rich and colorful without the mistakes of

your past. So be gentler to yourself and see life for what it really is: a path of self

discovery, personal growth and lifelong learning.

CHAPTER 80

Make a Vow of Silence

The Buddhist monks have a favorite strategy to build willpower-one that has been

used by many cultures over the years to create enormous amounts of inner strength

and resolve. It is the vow of silence. Staying quiet for even short periods of time

builds willpower and self-control because you exert force on your will by not giving

in to the impulse to talk.

So many people talk far more than they have to. Rather than speaking

precisely and communicating only what needs to be said, all too often we go on and

on. This in itself reveals a lack of discipline. discipline involves saying exactly what needs to be said and preserving your precious mental energy by not talking more

than you have to. Measured, precise speech is also a sign of clear thought and of a

serene mind.

A strategy that you can apply today to improve your personal discipline is to

keep a vow of silence for one hour a day over the next seven. Don’t speak at all

during this silent time. Or if you must, speak only in direct response to a question

and offer a clear, crisp answer rather than rattling on about everything from what

was on TV last night to where you hope to vacation this summer. The vow of

silence can be adopted politely and warmly. The idea is to make you stronger and to

enhance your will, not to hinder your relationships. Within a matter of days, you

will feel a sense of mastery and strength growing within you. Judge by the results:

they will speak for themselves.

CHAPTER 81

Don’t Pick Up the Phone

Every Time It Rings

The telephone is there for your convenience, not for the convenience of your callers.

Yet, as soon as we hear the phone ring, we act as if we are firefighters rushing to a

five-alarm fire. We run to pick it up as if our lives depended on the call being

answered at once. I have seen people interrupt quiet family dinners, dedicated

reading times and meditation periods to answer those seemingly urgent phone calls,

many of which turn out to be ones that could have been taken later.

Voice mail, though not perfect, is in many ways one of the great blessings of

the modern age. It frees you up to do the things you want by allowing you to answer

calls when it suits you. You no longer need be interrupted by the ringing phone and

can spend your time on life’s more important pursuits.

The habit of picking up the phone every time it rings is a hard one to break, as

I know from personal experience. It is so easy to run to it, simply because we want

to know who is calling us. Often, picking up the ringing phone is just another way

to put off doing something you don’t really want to do. But once you get good at

letting it ring and staying focused on the activity at hand, whether it is reading a

good book, having a heart-to-heart conversation with your life partner or frolicking

with your kids, you will wonder what the hurry to pick up the phone was all about in

the first place.

CHAPTER 82Remember That Recreation

Must Involve Re-creation

After a tiring day at work, it is so easy to curl up on the couch and spend the next

three or four hours watching television. The irony is that, if you are like most

people, you actually feel more fatigued after watching too much TV than you felt

when you first sat down.

Recreation is tremendously important to a balanced life. But recreation must

serve to re-create you. Recreation must restore you and bring you back to life. Real

recreation will fill you with a renewed sense of optimism and energy. True

recreation connects you to the highest and best within you while rekindling your

inner fire. As Plato noted, “My belief is not that the good body by any body

excellence improves the soul, but, on the contrary, that the good soul, by her own

excellence, improves the body as far as this may be possible. “Effective recreation

then must involve some pursuit that soothes your soul.

CHAPTER 83

Choose Worthy Opponents

I read recently that after Olympic athletes return home from the games, some of

them suffer from what psychologists call POD (Post-Olympic Depression). After

being in the world’s spotlight and training for years to excel in competition, the

athletes who suffer from this affliction fall into a state of depression once they get

back to their daily lives. It seems that having achieved the pinnacle of success, there

is no higher target for them to aim for and so life loses its meaning. A similar

phenomenon was experienced by the Apollo astronauts who walked on the moon.

After achieving this, they grew dejected at the realization that few things in life

could match the excitement of traveling into space.

To maintain a healthy level of optimism and passion for life, you must keep on

setting higher and higher goals. On attaining one goal, whether it is a career goal or

a personal one, it is essential that you quickly set the next one. I call the process of

setting progressively bigger, more engaging goals “choosing worthy opponents.”

When I was practicing law, I spent much of my time in courtrooms, representing the

interests of my clients. Over the years that I argued these cases, I always found I

performed best when I appeared against my toughest opponents. Those bright,

highly prepared and exceptionally focused litigators forced me to get to the core

issue before the judge and deliver my argument succinctly and effectively. The worthiest opponents compelled me to reach deep within myself and do even better

than I had previously.

In the same way, selecting a steady stream of compelling goals will liberate

the fullness of your talents. Remember, diamonds are created through steady

pressure. So make certain your goals are worthy of you. Make sure they are the kind

of challenges that will force you to reach into your heart and bring out the best

within you, helping you grow in the process. In the personal coaching sessions I

conduct around the country, many of the participants already have achieved what I

would consider success in both their careers and lives. They are highly respected,

influential and they enjoy what they do while leading balanced and fulfilling

personal lives. Yet they join my programs because they know deep down that they

can be more and that life holds greater rewards in store for them. They understand

that in order to truly manifest their human potential and leave a legacy that lasts,

they must keep raising the bar and holding themselves to a higher standard. And

because of that attitude of constant improvement, life does send greater blessings

their way.

CHAPTER 84

Sleep Less

Thomas Edison’s life story is one worth reading about. Part visionary, part gambler

and part genius, he was a brilliant inventor who made the best use of his time on the

planet. Though he had only six months of formal schooling, he had read such

classics as the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire by the time he was eight and

invented the phonograph, which captured sound on records, by the time he was

thirty. A master of positive thinking, when he was almost totally deaf, he did not

invent a hearing aid, he replied, “How much have you heard in the last twenty-four

hours that you couldn’t do without?” He then added with a smile. “But what I

remember the most about this special man was his rare ability to thrive on only four

hours of sleep. “Sleep is like a drug,” he explained.” Take too much at a time and it

makes you dopey. You lose time, vitality and opportunities.”

Most of us sleep far more than we need to. We say to ourselves that we must

have at least eight good hours of time under the covers in order to function at our

best. We cannot imagine getting by on less sleep and shudder at the very thought.

Yet, as I wrote in an earlier lesson, it is not the quantity of sleep that is most

important. What really counts is the quality and richness of your sleep.Just remember those times when everything in your life was working. You were

thriving at the office, fulfilled in your relationships and growing in your inner life.

You were overflowing with energy and passionate about every minute of your days.

If you are like most people, you will also recall that during these times you could get

by on less sleep. As a matter of fact, there was so much to be excited about that you

did not want to waste time by oversleeping. Now reflect on those times of your life

when things were not going so well. Your job was exhausting, the people in your

life were driving you crazy and you had no time for yourself. During these times,

you probably slept longer than usual. Perhaps you slept until two o’clock in the

afternoon on Saturday or Sunday (we often use sleep as an escape from reality

during difficult times). But how did you feel when you finally woke up/ Groggy,

uninspired and tired.

So it not the number of hours of sleep, that is key but rather the amount of

renewal your body receives. Strive for less time in bed but a richer, deeper sleep.

Understand that fatigue is often a mental creation that stems from doing things you

do not like to do. And remember Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s wise words:

The heights by great men reached and kept

Were not attained by sudden flight

But they, while their companions slept,

Were toiling upward in the night.

CHAPTER 85

Have a Family Mealtime

One of the many great family traditions my wonderful mother created for us when I

was growing up was having a family meal every day. No matter what activities we

had on the go, my father, my brother and I were duty-bound to come home for a

dinner, where we could all reconnect and share our stories about the day that was

drawing to a close.

My dad would often go around the dinner table and ask us to share one new

thing we had learned. Or he would pull out a newspaper clipping he had tucked

away in his shirt pocket and engage us in a lively discussion relating to the story.

The special tradition of a daily family meal brought our family closer and gave me

many happy memories. It is a tradition I have now brought into my own family life

and one I hope my children will continue. Your family meal does not have to be dinner. We live in busy times. We have

endless personal commitments, our children have soccer practices, piano lessons

and ballet classes, which might make it difficult to have a quiet meal in the early

evening hours. Your family meal could take place over breakfast or lunch if your

schedule allows for it. It might even be a quick snack of milk and cookies at the

very end of the day. The important thing is that you find some time every day to

‘break bread” with those you love most and consistently work at building a richer,

more meaningful family life.

CHAPTER 86

Become an Imposter

Research has shown that the way you act influences the thoughts you think. If you

look to the ground, slouch over and generally model yourself physically after a

depressed person, you will eventually start to feel depressed. If, one the other hand,

you smile and laugh and stand upright with your head held high, you will soon find

that you feel much better, even though you may not have been in a great mood to

begin with.

Using this information, you can start to ‘fake it till you make it.” In other

words, you can pretend to be the kind of person you wish to be. By consistently

acting as a highly enthusiastic person might or as a truly confident person would,

you will eventually take on these personal attributes.

The power of the ‘act like that which you most wish to become” technique

was demonstrated by a study at Stanford University in which a team of

psychologists took a group of emotionally secure college students and randomly

separated them into two groups within a simulated prison setting. The first group

was instructed to act like prison guards while the second group was told to take on

the characteristics of inmates. The behavior of the group members was affected so

dramatically by this experiment that the psychologists were forced to end it after

only six days. The “inmates” had become severely depressed, hysterical and

suffered from crying bouts while the “guards” behaved cruelly and uncaringly. As

this study confirms, the “acting as if” technique is a highly effective way to modify

your behavior and transform yourself into the person you plan to be.

CHAPTER 87

Take a Public Speaking CourseAs a professional speaker who specializes in leadership, personal effectiveness and

life improvement, I have the privilege of appearing on programs that feature some

of the world’s top experts like Brian Tracy, the renowned motivational speaker,

Professor John Kotter, the respected business guru, celebrities like actor Christopher

Reeve and musical superstars like Jewel. I give keynote addresses at about seventy

five major conferences a year and speak to large audiences across North America, in

the Caribbean and in Asia. Yet very few people know that the greatest fear of my

life was once public speaking.

While I was in school, I would avoid any opportunity to speak in front of

people for fear of failure. If a teacher asked me to give an oral report to the class or

speak on a certain subject, I would always find some excuse not to. My fear of

public speaking affected my confidence and prevented me from doing many of the

things I knew in my heart I could do. It was not until I took a public speaking course

from the Dale Carnegie organization that I began to change. And once I did, a new

world unfolded for me.

I have since discovered I was not alone in my fear. It has been reported that

most people fear speaking in front of an audience even more than death itself.

Talking to a large group of people draws us out of the circle of security that we tend

to live in and forces us to confront an entirely foreign experience. But two things

can dramatically reduce your fear of public speaking (as well as any other fear for

that matter): PREPRATION and PRACTICE. By taking a public speaking course

that will prepare you for speaking before groups and offer you a regular forum to

practice in front of a group, you will soon manage your fear and eventually master

it.

CHAPTER 88

Stop thinking Tiny thoughts

The British statesman Benjamin Disraeli once said, “Nurture your mind with great

thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think.” His words are profound

and his point of wisdom is clear: it is not what you are, that is holding you back in

life. It’s what you think you’re not. It is what is going on in your inner world that is

preventing you from having all that you want. And the moment you fully understand

this insight and set about ridding your mind of all its limiting thoughts, you will see

almost immediate improvements in your personal circumstances. In my motivational seminars, I tell my audiences, “if you are not pursuing

your dreams, you are fueling your limitations. “ My brother, an internationally

known eye surgeon, once told me about a medical condition called amblyopia, a

condition that occurs when a patch is placed over a young child’s healthy eye. When

the patch is removed, the child has completely lost the sight of that once good eye

stunts its development and causes blindness. Many of us suffer from our own form

of amblyopia. We go through life with blinders over our eyes, afraid to dream

bigger dreams and do the things we fear. The result is always the same: like the

child with amblyopia, we eventually lose our vision and spend the rest of our days

within a very limited zone of movement.

Too many people lead small lives. Too many of us die at twenty and are

buried at eighty. Remember, nothing can stop a person who refuses to be stopped.

Most people don’t really fail, they simply give up trying and most of the limitations

that hold you back from your dreams are self-imposed. So shed the shackles of “tiny

thinking,” have the bravery to dream big for a change and accept that failure is not

an option for you. As Seneca observed, “It is not because we do not dare that they

are difficult.”

CHAPTER 89

Don’t Worry About things

You Can’t Change

Time and again, when I face a challenge in my own life, I return to The Serenity

Prayer of Reinhold Niebuhr: “God, give us the grace to accept with serenity the

things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things which should be

changed, and the wisdom to distinguish one from the other.”

One business executive who went through an exercise I use in my leadership

coaching programs found that 54 percent of his worries related to things that would

likely never happen; 26 percent were about past actions that could not be changed; 8

percent related to the opinions of people whose opinions really did not matter to

him; 4 percent concerned personal health issues that he had since resolved; and only

6 percent concerned real issues worthy of his attention. By identifying and then

letting go of the worries he could do nothing about or that were a complete waste of

his energy, this man eliminated 94 percent of the problems that had plagued him.

CHAPTER 90

Learn How to WalkNearly ten years ago, I received a package in the mail from my father. In it was a

worn-out old book that carried the following inscription on the inside front cover:

“Dear Robin, some time ago, I picked up this book from a store that sells

secondhand books. Though the money paid for this book was nominal, its net worth

is tremendous. I enjoyed reading it immensely and I hope you will too. Love, Dad.”

Published in 1946, the book is called Getting the Most Out of Life and is one

of the treasures in my library of wisdom literature and self-help books. I have

returned to the short essays it contains on a wide range of life improvement topics,

bearing titles such as “Wake Up and Live!” “The Business of Living a Long Time”

and “How to Live on 24 Hours a Day, “many times over the years and have grown

much from the lessons offered. It is truly a priceless possession.

On recent rainy day, I pulled out the book and flipped through the different

chapters, stopping at the one entitled “How to Take a Walk.” In it, author Alan

Devoe shares his insights on how one can get the best out of walking. First, he

advises, a walk should never have a specific purpose. Rather than having a

destination, you should simply immerse yourself in the beauty of the walk itself.

Second, you must never take your worries with you on the walk. Leave them at

home, for if you don’t, they will become even more deeply rooted in your mind by

the end of the walk and finally, be fully aware. Train yourself to pay complete

attention to the sights, sounds and smells. Study the shape of the leaves on the trees.

Observe the beauty of the clouds and the fragrance of the flowers. As he concludes:

“The world, after all, is not so unendurable, when a person gets a chance to look at it

and smell it and feel its texture and be alone with it. This acquaintance with the

world – this renewal of the magical happiness and wonderment which you felt when

you were a child-such is the purpose of taking walks.

CHAPTER 91

Rewrite Your Life Story

One of the most wonderful things about time is the fact that you cannot waste it in

advance. No matter how much time you have squandered in the past, the next hour

that comes your way will be perfect, unspoiled and ready for you to make the very

best of it. No matter what has happened to you in the past, your future is spotless.

Realize that every dawn brings with it the corresponding opportunity to begin a

completely new life. If you so choose, tomorrow can be the day that you start

getting up earlier, reading more, exercising, eating well and worrying less. As author Ashleigh Brilliant has observed, “ At any moment I could start being more of

the person I dream to be-but which moment should I choose?”

No one is stopping you from opening your journal and, on a blank page, rewriting

the story of your life. This very minute, you can decide the way you would like it to

unfold, change the central characters and create a new ending. The only question is

will you choose to do so. Remember, it is never too late to become the person you

have always wanted to be.

CHAPTER 92

Plant a Tree

According to ancient Eastern thinking, to live a fulfilling life, you must o three

things: have a son, write a book and plant a tree. By doing so, the thinking goes, you

will have three legacies that will live on long after you die.

While there are clearly many more elements of a happy and complete life (I

would add the joy of having a daughter to the list), the idea of planting a tree is an

excellent one. Watching a tree grow from a sapling into a tall oak will keep you

connected with the daily passage of time and the cycles of nature. Just as the tree

grows and matures, so too will you be able to mark your personal passages and

growth as a human being.

If you have children, you might also wish to plant a tree in honor of each of

them. As they grow, you can carve notches on the trunk to mark their different ages.

Each tree then becomes a living record of a different life stage. Planting a tree for

each child in your family is a wonderful and creative act of love and one that your

kids will remember for many years to come.

CHAPTER 93

Find Your Place of Peace

Everyone needs a sanctuary or a “place of peace” where they can go to be quiet and

still. This special place will serve as your oasis in a world of stress. It will be a spot

where you can take refuge from the crush of daily activities that demand your time,

energy and attention. Your sanctuary does not need to be fancy. An unused bedroom

or a corner of an apartment with some freshly cut flowers on the table will do nicely.

Even a wooden bench in your favorite park can serve as your place of peace.

When you feel you need some time alone, visit this sanctuary and do some of

those “inner development” activities that are so easy to neglect during the course of

a busy day. Write in your journal or listen to a soothing piece of classical music. Close your eyes and visualize your ideal day. Read deeply from that book your

mother always told you to read or from a book of wisdom. Or simply do nothing for

thirty minutes and let the renewing power of solitude take hold.

Carving out a little time for yourself is not a selfish act. Replenishing your

inner reserves allows you to give more, do more and be more for others. Making the

time to care for your mind and spirit will keep you balanced, enthusiastic and

youthful. And as L.F. Phelan once said, “Youth is not a time of life; it is a state of

mind. People grow old only by deserting their ideals and by outgrowing the

consciousness of youth. Years wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles

the soul .... You are as old as your doubt, your fear, your despair. The way to keep

young is to keep your faith young. Keep your self-confidence young. Keep your hope

young.”

CHAPTER 94

Take More Pictures

Every life is worth living. And given this, every life is worth recording. So often a

friend will tell me about a breathtaking sight on a recent vacation or something

hilarious his child did at the Christmas concert or about someone famous he has

met. “Did you get it on film?” I ask. “I’d love to see the photo.” Next time,” comes

the reply. “I didn’t have time to pick up a new roll. But let me try and describe what

happened to you.”

A picture truly is worth a thousand words. Photographs capture and record

life’s greatest memories so that we can re-live them as the years go by. As I grew

up, my father constantly took pictures of our family. Whether it was a family picnic,

the first time I took his car out for a spin, or a simple gathering with friends, he was

there taking pictures. Often, while he asked us to smile for the camera, I would grow

impatient and gently ask him to take the photo quickly. “You don’t need to take so

many photos, Dad, “I would say. “What are we going to do with them all?

Well now, as the years have quietly slipped by, I know what to do with all

those photos. They have gone into albums that form part of the story of life’s

passage. They provide my own children with endless hours of amusement and offer

our entire family a wonderful way to reflect on the simple things that have meant so

much to us.

Take more pictures. Record the best times of your life. Collect photographs of

the things that have made you smile or cry or appreciate the many blessings this world provides. Always carry a disposable camera in your car and two in your

luggage when you travel. You might be surprised how good you will feel when you

go through your albums years from now.

CHAPTER 95

Be an Adventurer

Teachers are climbing mountains. Entrepreneurs are flying hot-air balloons.

Grandmothers are completing marathons and homemakers are taking up karate. The

more routine our lives become the greater our need to fill them with some real

adventures. The more obligations that beg for our attention., the more important it

becomes to shed those shackles of complacency and send our hearts soaring through

some brave new pursuit.

“Man must not allow the clock and the calendar to blind him to the fact that

each moment of his life is a miracle and a mystery,” wrote British novelist H.G.

Wells. To connect more deeply to the miracles and the mysteries of your own life,

vow to restore the spirit of adventure that you once knew as a child. Make a list of

twelve pursuits you know would bring a greater sense of passion and energy to your

normally mundane routine and tackle one of them every month for the next year.

Doing so is a highly effective way to reinvent the way you live.

CHAPTER 96

Decompress Before You Go Home

After a day of stress and pressure at the office, most of us arrive home cranky, tired

and dispirited. We gave the best we had to our colleagues and customers and, sadly,

we have nothing left for the people we love the most: our spouses, children and

friends. Like gladiators who have just completed the battle of their lives, we wearily

walk to our favorite easy chair and order family members to leave us alone until we

regain our composure.

Taking ten minutes to decompress before you walk through the front door of

your home will help you to avoid making this scenario a part of your daily routine.

Rather than leaving work, driving home and rushing into your house, I recommend

that you spend a few minutes sitting alone in your car while parked in the driveway.

Use this time to relax and reflect on what you would like to accomplish during the

next few hours with your family. Remind yourself how much your partner and

children need you and how many fun things you can do if you simply put your mind

to it. To further decompress, you could go for a quick walk around the block or listen to a favorite piece of classical music before you open the door and greet your

family. Be creative about your personal decompression time and treat it as a chance

to renew and recharge so you are the person your family wants you to be when you

greet them.

CHAPTER 97

Respect Your Instincts

It is easy not to listen to what the Quakers call the “still, small voice within,” that

inner guide that is your personal source of wisdom. It is often difficult to march to

your own drum beat and listen to your instincts when the world around you

pressures you to conform to its dictates. Yet to find the fulfillment and abundance

you seek, you must listen to those hunches and feelings that come to you most need

them.

As I grow older, I give far greater respect to my instincts and to the natural

reservoir of intuition that slumbers within each one of us. The impressions I receive

when I first meet a new person or that inner sense of wisdom that softly nudges me

in the right direction during a trying time have come to play a larger part in the way

I work and live. It seems that with age comes the corresponding ability to trust your

own instincts.

I have also found that my personal instincts grow stronger when I am living

“on purpose,” that is to say, spending my days on activities that advance me along

the path to my legacy. When you are doing the right things and living the way

nature intended you to live, abilities you were not aware you had become engaged

and you liberate the fullness of the person you really are. As the Indian philosopher

Patanjali eloquently wrote.

When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all

of your thoughts break their bonds: Your mind transcends limitations, your

consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great and

wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you

discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.

CHAPTER 98

Collect Quotes That Inspire You

If you have read the Monk Who Sold His Ferrari or any of my other books, you

know that I love using quotations from the world’s great thinkers. I never knew why

I loved these as much as I do until one of my mentors, after reading a manuscript I’d written, said, “You love quotations for the same reason I do, Robin. A great quote

contains a wealth of wisdom in a single line.”

So often in my readings, I come across just the right quote, which contains the

ideal answer to a challenge I am facing. And my mentor was right. The value of a

great quote does lie in the fact that it contains a world of wisdom, wisdom that may

have taken the author many years to arrive at, in a line or two.

Over the next few weeks, start your own collection of quotations, words that

you can keep referring to when you need some instant inspiration or advice about

how to deal with those curves life sometimes sends our way.

Another effective way that I use quotes is to paste them in places where I

know I will see them throughout the day, such as on my bathroom mirror, on the

refrigerator door, on the dashboard of my car and throughout my office. This simple

discipline keeps me focused on what’s essential during busy times, positive during

trying times and centered on the principles of real success. On my personal

computer, I have now collected hundreds of quotes from great leaders, thinkers,

poets and philosophers on subjects such as how to deal with adversity, the meaning

of life, the value of self-improvement, the importance of helping others, the power

of our thoughts and the need for a strong character.

CHAPTER 99

Love Your Work

One of the timeless secrets to a long, happy life is to love your work. The golden

thread running through the lives of history’s most satisfied people is that they all

loved what they did for a living. When psychologist Vera John Steiner interviewed

one hundred creative people, she found they all had one thing in common: an

intense passion for their work. Spending your days doing work that you find

rewarding, intellectually challenging and fun will do more than all the spa vacations

in the world to keep your spirits high and your heart engaged. Thomas Edison, a

man who recorded 1,093 patents in his lifetime, ranging from the phonograph, the

incandescent light bulb and the microphone to the movies, had this to say about his

brilliant career at the end of his life, “I never did a day’s work in my life: it was all

fun.”

When you love your job, you discover you will never have to work another

day in your life. Your work will be play and the hours will slip away as quickly as

they came. As novelist James Michener wrote:The master in the art of living makes little distinction between his work and

his play, his labor and his leisure, his mind and his body, his information and his

recreation, his life and his religion. He hardly knows which is which. He simply

pursues his vision of excellence at whatever he does, leaving others to decide

whether he is working or playing. To him, he is always doing both.

CHAPTER 100

Selflessly Serve

Albert Schweitzer said, ‘There is no higher religion than human service. To work

for the common good is the greatest creed. “And the ancient Chinese believed that “

a little fragrance always clings to the hand that gives you roses. “ One of the greatest

lessons for a highly fulfilling life is to rise from a life spent chasing success to one

dedicated to finding significance. And the best way to create significance is to ask

yourself one simple question. “How may I serve?”

All great leaders, thinkers and humanitarians have abandoned selfish lives for

selfless lives and, in doing so, found all the happiness, abundance and satisfaction

they desired. They have all understood that all-important truth of humanity: you

cannot pursue success; success ensues. It flows as the unintended but inevitable by

product of a life spent serving people and adding value to the world.

Mahatma Gandhi understood the service ethic better than most. In one

memorable story from his life, he was traveling across Indian by train. As he left the

car he had been riding in, one of his shoes fell to a place on the tracks well beyond

his reach. Rather than worrying about getting it back, he did do nothing that startled

his traveling companions : he removed his other shoe and threw it to where the first

one rested. When asked why he did this, Gandhi smiled and replied: “Now the poor

soul who finds the first one will have a pair that he can wear”.

CHAPTER 101

Live Fully so You can Die Happy

Most people don’t discover what life is all about until just before they die.

While we are young, we spend our days striving and keeping up with social

expectations. We are so busy chasing life’s big pleasures that we miss out on the

little ones, like dancing barefoot in a park on a rainy day with our kids or planting a

rose garden or watching the sun come up. We live in an age where we have

conquered the highest of mountains but have yet to master our selves. We have taller buildings but shorter tempers, more possessions but less happiness, fuller

minds but emptier lives.

Do not wait until you are on your deathbed to realize the meaning of life and

the precious role you have to play within it. All too often, people attempt to live

their lives backwards: they spend their days striving to get the things that will make

them happy rather than having the wisdom to realize that happiness is not a place

you reach but a state you create. Happiness and a life of deep fulfillment come when

you commit yourself, from the very core of your soul, to spending your highest

human talents on a purpose that makes a difference in others’ lives. When all the

clutter is stripped away from your life, its true meaning will become clear: to live

for something more than yourself. Stated simply, the purpose of life is a life of

purpose.

As this is the last of the life lessons it is my privilege to share with you in this book,

I wish you great life filled with wisdom, happiness and fulfillment. May yours days

be spent in work that is engaging, on pursuits that are inspiring and with people who

are loving. I’d like to leave you with the following words of George Bernard Shaw,

which capture the essence of this final lesson far better than I ever could:

This is the true joy in life, being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a

mighty one, being a true force of Nature instead of a feverish little clod of ailments

and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you

happy. I am of the opinion that my life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to

me. It’s a sort of splendid torch which I’ve got to hold up for the moment and I want

to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.

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HOW TO MANAGE YOURSELF

HOW TO MANAGE YOURSELF

Managing yourself is often more difficult than it seems. Other people, events and
things seem to take control, exert influence or interfere with our lives. This book tells
how to deal inside ourselves with the daily conflicts of every day life, handle criticism
and thought developing body language.
1. Motivating Yourself :
If you can understand how to get motivated, you can use those good feelings to help
live your life as you wish :
◾ Try to keep assessing situations, to make sure your behaviour is appropriate
◾ Try to be reasonable and realistic
◾ Try to talk to people in their own terms
◾ Be aware that other people's motivations are not always the same as your own.
2. Praising & Criticising
Most of us like to be praised and hate to be criticised.
◾ Give criticism and compliments promptly - both are reduced in their impact if they
take place too long after the event.
◾ Criticise properly bad criticism leads to arguments and emotional responses
◾ Do not personalise either when giving or when receiving criticism
◾ Be gracious about giving and receiving compliments.
◾ Choose your reaction to criticism - do not get caught up in reacting instantly, think
and choose how you want to react.
3. Handling thoughts and feelings
◾ Separate how you feel from what you think. Events do not cause feelings, they
can be thought which in turn cause feelings.
◾ Don't practice negative feelings - it can make you ill and cause more problem than
expressing them.
◾ Practice negative feelings assertion to tell people how you feel by using your words
and not your behaviour.
◾ Avoid dwelling on what happened.
4. Understanding behaviour and assertiveness
This book is about what you can do to make things happen. What you can not do is
change other people.
◾ Understand what assertiveness is and do not confuse it with aggression.
◾ Respect both your own rights and those of others
◾ Practice assertive behaviour, which may impact on your emotions, making you
feel more assertive as a result.
◾ Respond, do not react. Do not be afraid of time. You are entitled to time to think
about things before responding.
5. Handling aggression
◾ Aggression is not a pleasant behaviour
◾ It is any behaviour with a view point of `I am better than' or 'You are less than'
◾ Be aware that aggression may make you feel good in the short term but is never
good for you in the long term.
6. Dealing with passivity
◾ Remember that passive person feels `less than' others. Encourage them to
develop confidence.
§ Be aware that passivity only brings a temporary relief from an unpleasant
situation. The long term effects are still unpleasant.
◾ Always be assertive and do not be tempted to get aggressive or frustrated with
passive people.
7. Speaking without words
◾ Learn to identify the body language signs of aggressive and passive behaviour.
◾ Try to remember that these signs tend to make us react. They are the manner
rather than content.
◾ Try to choose your responses based on the contents of the message but allowing
for the manner.
8. Listening
◾ Listen actively
◾ Avoid things that prevent you listening properly and try to improve your listening
◾ Ask questions properly to ensure you have understood.
9. Negotiating and Handling Change
§ Check your own stand before negotiating. You will communicate
better if you know what you are trying to achieve.
§ Look for areas of common ground to build on. This makes reaching an
agreement much more likely.
§ Try to reach an agreement that is mutually acceptable.
10. Staying Confident
Confidence is a feeling of being capable to cope.
◾ Choose when to deal with an issue.
◾ When dealing with a problem, remember it is always your problem. You can not
change others. So you need to look at yourself and see how you can cope with
others.
If you think about the principles, techniques and information detailed above, you
should be well on the way to being able to manage your own emotions, reactions and
behaviour.

The Power Of Your Subconscious Mind

The Power Of Your Subconscious Mind

Ø Why is one man sad and another man happy ?
Ø Why is one man joyous and prosperous and another man poor and miserable?
Ø Why is one man fearful and anxious and another full of faith and confidence?
Ø Why is one man a genius in his work or profession while the other man toils and
moils all his life without doing or accomplishing anything worth while?
Ø Why is one healed of a so-called incurable disease and another isn’t?
Is there any answer to those questions?
The author tries to answer the above interrogatories and endeavoured to explain
the great fundamental truths of ones mind in the simple way. The miracle working power
of your subconscious mind existed since time immemorial. The great eternal truths and
principles of life antedate all religions. This wonderful, magical power can proclaim
liberty to the fear-ridden mind, and liberate you completely from the limitations of poverty,
failure, misery, lack and frustration. Infinite riches are all round you if you will open your
mental eyes and behold the treasure house of infinity within you. There is goldmine with
in you from which you can extract everything you need to live life gloriously, joyously and
abundantly. A magnetized piece of steel will lift about twelve times its own weight, and if
you demagnetise this same piece of steel, it will not even lift a feather. Similarly, there
are two types of persons. There is magnetized person who is full of confidence and
faith. He knows that he is born to win and to succeed. Then, there is the type of person
who is demagnetised; he is full of fears and doubts. Opportunities come, and he says, “I
might fail; I might lose my money; people will laugh at me”. This type of person will not
get very far in life. So, the question arises, how to become a magnetized person? The
answer is extraordinarily simple. This secret is the marvellous, miracle-working power
found in your own subconscious mind, the last-place that most people would seek it.
One can bring into life more power, more wealth, more health, more happiness, and
more joy by learning to contact and release the hidden power of one’s subconscious
mind. You need not acquire this power; you already possess it. You need to learn how
to use it; so that you can apply it in all departments of your life.
The infinite intelligence within your subconscious mind can reveal to you
everything you need to know at every moment of time and point of space provided you
are open minded and receptive. You can receive new thoughts and ideas enabling you
to bring forth new inventions, make new discoveries, or write books and plays. Through
the wisdom of your sub conscious mind you can attract the ideal companion, as well as
the right business associate or partner.
All your experiences, events, conditions and acts are the reactions of your
subconscious mind to your thoughts. Remember, it is not the thing believed in, but the
belief in your own mind which bring about the result. Cease believing in the false beliefs,
opinions, superstitions and fear of mankind.
You have only one mind, but your mind possesses two distinctive characteristics.
The two functions of your mind are essentially unlike. Each is endowed with separate
and distinct attributes and powers. The nomenclature generally used is : The objective
and subjective mind, the conscious and sub conscious mind, the waking and sleeping
mind, the surface self and the deep self, the voluntary mind and the involuntary mind and
many other terms.
The treasure house is within you. The great secret possessed by the great men
of all ages was their ability to contact and release the powers of their subconscious
mind. Sub conscious mind has the answer to all the problems. If you suggest to your
subconscious prior to sleep, “ I want to get up at 6 A.M.”, it will awaken you at the exact
time. It is the builder of your body and can heal you. Lull yourself to sleep every night
with the idea of perfect health, and your subconscious, being your faithful servant,
will obey you. You are like a captain navigating a ship. He must give the right orders
and likewise, you must give the right orders (thought & images) to your subconscious
mind which controls and governs all your experiences. The law of life is the law of belief.
A belief is a thought in your mind. Do not believe in things to harm or hurt you. Believe
in the power of your subconscious to heal, inspire, strengthen, and prosper you. Change
your thoughts, and you change your destiny.
Your subconscious mind is all wise and knows the answers to all questions. It
doesn’t argue with you or talk back to you. For example, when you say, “I cannot do
this”. “I am too old now”. “I cannot meet this obligation”. “I was born on the wrong side of
the track”. “I do not know the right politician”, you are impregnating your subconscious
with these negative thoughts, and it responds accordingly. You are blocking your own
good, thereby bringing lack, limitation, and frustration into your life. You have the power
to choose. Choose health and happiness. You can choose to be friendly, or you can
choose to be unfriendly . Choose to be cooperative, joyous, friendly, lovable and the
whole world will respond. You are the captain of your soul (subconscious mind) and the
master of your fate. Remember, you have the capacity to choose. Choose life! Choose
love! Choose health! Choose happiness!…… whatever your conscious mind assumes
and believes to be true, your subconscious mind will accept and bring to pass. Believe in
good fortune, divine guidance, right action and all the blessing of life.
Whatever thoughts, beliefs, opinions, theories, or dogmas you write, engrave or
impress on your sub conscious mind, you shall experience them as the objective
manifestation of circumstances, conditions and events. What you write on the inside, you
will experience on the outside. Your thought is received by your brain, which is the organ
of your conscious reasoning mind. When your conscious or objective mind, accepts the
thought completely, it is sent to the “solar plexus”, called the brain of your mind, where it
becomes flesh and is made manifest in your experience.
Your desire is your prayers. Picture the fulfilment of your desire now and feel its
reality, and you will experience the joy of the answered prayer. Feel the joy and
restfulness in foreseeing the certain accomplishment of your desire. Any mental picture,
which you have in your mind, is the substitute of things hoped for and the evidence of
things not seen. A mental picture is worth a thousand words. What you decree and feel
as true will come to pass. Decree harmony, health, peace and abundance.
A wonderful way to get a response from your subconscious mind is through
disciplined or scientific imagination. The Bible also says, whatsoever ye shall ask in
prayer, believing, ye shall receive. To believe is to accept something as true, or to live in
the state of being it. As you sustain this mood, you shall experience the joy of the
answered prayer! The three steps to success in prayer are:
1. Take a look at the problem;
2. Turn to the solution or way out known only to the subconscious mind;
3. Rest in a sense of deep conviction that it is done.
The conscious mind is submerged to a great extent when in a sleepy state. The reason
for this is that the highest degree of outcropping of the sub conscious occurs prior to
sleep and just after we awaken. When you imagine the reality of the fulfilled desire and
feel the thrill of accomplishment, your subconscious brings about the realisation of your
desire. A great many people solve all their dilemmas and problems by the play of their
controlled, directed and disciplined imagination, knowing that whatever they imagine and
feel as true will and must come to pass. So, the best time to impregnate your
subconscious is prior to sleep. It is your right to be rich. You are here to lead the
abundant life and be happy, radiant and free. So, you should, therefore, have all the
money you need to lead a full, happy and prosperous life. Money is a symbol of
exchange. When your blood is circulating freely in your body, you are healthy. When
money is circulating freely in your life, you are economically healthy. So, decide to be
wealthy, the easy way with the infallible aid of your subconscious mind. Wealth is a
subconscious conviction. Build into your mentality the idea of wealth. Repeat the word
‘wealth’, to yourself slowly and quietly for about five minutes prior to sleep and your
subconscious will bring wealth to pass in your experience. The feeling of wealth
produces wealth. Your conscious and sub conscious mind must agree. Your
subconscious accepts what you really feel to be true. You can overcome any mental
conflict regarding wealth by affirming frequently, “By day and by night, I am being
prospered in all my interest”. Envy and jealousy are stumbling blocks to the flow of
wealth. Rejoice in the prosperity of others.
Success means successful living. When you are peaceful, happy, joyous, and
doing what you love to do, you are successful. A successful man possesses great
psychological and spiritual understanding. If you are seeking promotion in your work,
imagine your employer, supervisor or loved one congratulating you on your promotion.
Make the picture vivid and real. Hear the voice, see the gestures and feel the reality of it
all. Continue to do this frequently, and through frequent occupancy of your mind, you will
experience the joy of the answered prayer. Your subconscious mind is a storehouse of
memory. For a perfect memory, affirm frequently: “The infinite intelligence of my
subconscious mind reveal to me everything I need to know at all times, everywhere”.
The idea of success contains all the elements of success. Repeat the work, “success”, to
yourself frequently with faith and conviction, and you will be under a subconscious
compulsion to succeed.
Ignorance of mental and spiritual laws is the cause of all martial unhappiness. By
praying scientifically together, you stay together. Mentally picture your wife as she ought
to be, joyous, happy, healthy and beautiful. See your husband as he ought to be, strong,
powerful, loving, harmonious and kind. Maintain this mental picture, and you will
experience the marriage made in heaven which is harmony and peace.
There is tremendous power within you. Happiness will come to you when you
acquire a sublime confidence in this power. You must choose happiness. Happiness is
a habit. It is a good habit to ponder often on…whatsoever things are just, whatsoever
things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if
there be any virtue and if there be any praise, think on these things. When you open
your eyes in the morning, say to yourself, I choose happiness today. I choose success
today. I choose right action today. I choose love and good will for all today. I choose
peace today. Pour life, love and interest into this affirmation, and you have chosen
happiness. You must sincerely desire to be happy. Nothing is accomplished without
desire. Desire is a wish with wings of imagination and faith. Imagine the fulfilment of
your desire, and feel its reality and it will come to pass. Happiness comes in answered
prayer.
*************

HOW TO CONTROL MIND AND BE STRESS-FREE

 HOW TO CONTROL MIND AND BE STRESS-FREE

"No man's life is free from struggles and stresses, not even of the happiest, but
everyone may build up his own happiness by making himself independent of outward
conditions," the great thinker said so about stress.
What is stress, Technically whenever we perceive any physical or psychological threat
or challenge, we are under the grip of stress. However, from a practical or lay
person's point of view, whenever our mind feels uneasy, disturbed,agitated, tense,
heavy or strained,we are said to be under stress. On the other hand, when our mind is
feeling light, easy, cheerful, calm and quiet, we are said to be in a relaxed state,
opposite to stress. it is interesting to know that our each mental activity is associated
with a physiological response from the body generated through the action of our
autonomous nervous system. To understand it further, whenever we experience
stress, a stress mechanism is activated which is also called `fight or flight' response
or alarm response'. It is as if a red alert is declared in the body to meet the impending
challenge or emergency. In this condition, the sympathetic component of autonomous
nervous system is aroused through an impulse leading to the following body responses.
◾ Pituitary gland releases the harmone ACTH which triggers the adrenal glands.
◾ Adrenal glands produce another harmone cortisol which acts on the liver.
◾ Cortisol converts glycogen stored in the liver into blood sugar to provide instant
energy.
◾ Breathing becomes faster to provide more oxygen to the body.
◾ Stress chemicals such as adrenalin and non-adrenalin are released directly into
the blood stream to produce a surge of energy in the body.
◾ Heartbeat is increased to increase blood circulation.
◾ Blood vessels are dilated and blood pressure is increased.
◾ Sweating increases, skin resistance decreases.
◾ Muscle tightness and tension are increased to enable them to ready for action.
◾ The process of digestion is shut down as blood is diverted away from stomach
towards skelton musceles.
◾ Mouth dries up, because the salivary glands dry.
◾ The rectum and bladder muscles relax.
◾ Shaking of the limbs, cracking in voice.
◾ Bood is diverted away from the skin, Peripheral blood vessels are constricted
giving a feeling of coldness in hands etc.
◾ Immense system becomes weak.
All the above changes in body chemistry occurs basically to provide extra energy to the
body to meet the impending challenge. On the other hand when we are peaceful,
relaxed and not aroused, the other branches of autonomous nervous system,
namely, para sympathetic nervous system takes over.
Although stress creates sympathetic arousal, every sympathetic arousal is not
stress. For example when one wants to run for the improvement of one's health, ones
sympathetic nervous system is aroused to give extra energy for running but you are
nevertheless, not under stress.
When Does Stress Result In Disease ?
Sympathetic arousal which occurs under stress, draws on the body's available
resources in order to provide extra energy to meet the challenge, this results in
continuous depletion of body's resources, eventually leading to exhaustion,
diseases, break down and some time even the death. It is said 80% of diseases
are due to stress. They are either originated or aggravated by stress and are called
psychosomatic diseases viz Asthma, Backpain, High B.P., Diabetes, various mental
disorders including fits etc.
There are outward signs by which we can guess or judge that a person is in stress for
example.
◾ Biting Nails
◾ Clenching fists
◾ Clenching jaw
◾ Finger tapping on Chair/table
◾ Grinding teeth while sleeping
◾ Hunching shoulders
◾ Wrinkles on forehead and tense forehead muscle.
◾ Frequent sighing or yawning
◾ Tapping feet on the floor
◾ Shaking while sitting on the chair.
◾ Shallow breathing or upper chest breathing
◾ Tightness in muscles of various parts of body
◾ Tightness of stomach
◾ Loss of appetite
One may exhibit some or many of these symptoms depending upon his stress prone
habits to which he is hooked to.
Dissolution of stress
Obviously the way to dissolve stress which has accumulated through the constant
arousal of sympathetic nervous system, is to counter this effect by consciously increasing
the parasympathetic response the techniques which helps in achieving this are called
conscious relaxation techniques and their main faces is to return the body chemistry to
normal. There are :
◾ Meditation
◾ Stretching exercises
◾ Aerobic exercises
◾ Massage
◾ Accupressure
◾ Relaxing Effect of water & other Nature Care Methods
◾ Breathing
◾ Laughter
◾ Diet, Nutrition & elimination of Toxins
◾ Dancing and shaking of the body
◾ Rocking & Swinging
◾ Music
◾ Soothing Touch of `Nature'
There all the techniques are primarily curative, but the author beautifully says &
explains that if one is able to control his mind, it prevents `STRESS', he says, "Once you
control your mind, happiness and peace comes as a natural consequence". Almost
all our agonies and pains are due to our not having proper control over our mind. The
servant (mind) has become the master and the master has become the servant. We
have to restore our master status and place the servant in its proper position if we
want to be really, happy and stress free.
What is mind ? Mind is that faculty by virtue of which we are able to be conscious and
aware of ourselves. Consciousness and awareness of self and others are the basic
characteristics of mind. Mind is different from brain. The brain is a physical organ
like any other organ of the body while mind is a non-physical entity. Thus the brain
acts as a link between the mind and the body. Some characteristics of mind are
◾ Mind has no weight or measurement
◾ Mind is Eternal & Immortal
◾ Mind is Indivisible in Nature
◾ Mind can exist Independent of the Body
◾ Mind and body influences each other
◾ Mind control Methodologies
Metaphorically, it is said that you can stop the wind from blowing, you cam stop the
river from flowing, but you can't control mind. Control of mind is certainly the most
difficult thing in the world, but it is possible by constant practice and adopting proper
techniques. They are :
◾ Yoga sanas and exercises
◾ Pranayama
◾ Kriyas (Purificatory techniques)
◾ Sitting postures
◾ Diet - Satwik, Rajasik & Tamasik
◾ Fasting
◾ Celibacy
◾ Trataka
◾ Silence
◾ Spiritual Methods
◾ Meditation (Rayayaga)
◾ Remembrance of God (Bhakti Yoga)
◾ Unselfish Action (Karma Yoga)
◾ Knowledge of self supreme self (God) an world(Gyan Yoga)
The author succinctly explains the above method and one can stand like a rock amidst
severest opposition and obstacles if one is able to control mind.

How to Understand Human Nature

 How to Understand Human Nature

It is a pioneering work by the illustrious author. This celebrated work has been translated
in to five languages. It gives fourteen axioms of Human Nature and is a practical book
on Psychology. Human Nature is not a satisfactory name to describe the sort of thing
that a human being is. But it is the best name we have. It is better than Mind or Soul or
Personality or Ego or Will. It means the whole person - brain and body & feelings and
will. It includes every thing - good, bad and indifferent. Hither to we have studied
Human Nature is sections. The merchant studies man as a buyer and seller. The
doctor studies him as a mechanism or a process. The clergyman studies him as a
believer. The manufacturer studies him as a produce and so forth. But no one studies
him as a whole. No one takes a bird's eye view of him and puts down carefully, the
exact sort of thing he is. We have studied horse nature and dog’s nature, rose’s
nature and Iron nature. We have counted and weighed stars. We have charted
continents and oceans, but we have not yet studied ourselves and all in all the supreme
phenomenon of this earth. Today we don't have any scientific instruments for the study
of human thoughts and feelings but someday we may map the mind and heart of man, so
that the mysteries of personality may be made clear. But all that we can do at present is
to outline what the problem is to clear away the rubbish of traditional opinion and to
sketch as truly as we can the basic facts that cannot be denied. The Human Nature is
examined in 14 axioms as under:-
i) It is human nature to want. Every person is a bundle of wants. No one is complete
and has enough. Everybody wants. Each one feel hunger several times a day, every
infant begins life with a cry for food, it wants and this is the
beginning of the human life and the first want of the human being and as he meets his
first want, the other wants e.g cloth, shelter comes to surface. Our whole existence is
mainly a matter of wants satiated or thwarted. The savage
on the banks of the Congo wants a necklace of beads. The maiden wants a
husband. Everybody wants Practically all business is based on the supply of wants. All
advertisement is the creation of new wants. All factories and shape are run to supply
the wants of mankind. Human Nature is a conscious substance that is filled with desire.
Its eternal cry is------------------"I wish I had some thing else”. So every body wants ! and it
is one one of those obvious truths which most people have ignored. It is the first Great
fact which confronts us when we begin to study the elements of Human Nature.
2) Our so-called brains are not ruled by the logic and reason and mathematics. We
don't naturally seek for facts rather average human brain dislikes, despises and rejects,
it is a fact-Hundreds-thousands of times, when some rash discoverer has found a new
fact, and held it up with impulsive joy to show the people, the people rushed upon
him and trampled him and his fact to death. Human Nature is seething fiery mass of
Feelings, covered by a thin crust of Custom and Law. If you with to erect a structure that
will be high and strong, you must lay the foundations deep in the ancient feelings of the
human heart. You cannot defy sentiments, you cannot fights feeling with chemistry.
Many a times we have seen the output increased and the costs reduced by a single
mass meeting at which workers and Directors mingled in a friendly way. As we have
learned there is nothing that counts for more in war than morale of the army - the spirit
the feeling. So it is in Industry. No matter whether it is a house or factory, a college or a
trade union, it is largely ruled by its feelings. No man can understand the place he is
living in, nor the people he is living with, nor his own nature, until he appreciates the
terrific power of this mysterious
planetary force called feeling.
3) Fear is perhaps the most powerful of motives. It is as old as life itself. It is always
and everywhere one of the main causes of human action. The first law of nature, we
know is self preservation but some strange instinct makes us afraid of. The tiny lamb is
afraid of the cow. The young bird is afraid of the boy. The Fear is every-where and
eternal. Fear drives its victims in London just as commonly as it does in the mud
villages of Congo. There are man varieties of Fear. A person in remote forest is afraid of
tigers, lions & snakes. The Londoner is afraid of bank-ruptcy and scandal and cancer
and burglars. The parliamentarians are fearful of public opinion. This too is a fact that no
man is a complete coward. If he were his life would be unbearable. And neither is any
man completely free from fears. Everyman has his own assortment of fears. But there
is in every child and in every grown person a latent courage that can be developed.
There is a lion and a mouse in every individual and it is best to put the lion in control. It is
one of the secrets of success - one of the secrets of Leadership, to master your own
fears. If a man is at heart a coward - if he has not made himself "The captain of his
soul", he is sure at some critical moment in his career to surrender or run away.
4) The baby mimics the mother. Everyone knows that and that is one of the first
intelligent things that every baby does, but it is also true that mother mimics the baby.
So does the father. So to the brothers and sisters and grand parents, It is the human
nature to mimic - to imitate - to do what others do. If other people yawn, so do you. If
they laugh so do you. If they are excited or sad or angry, so
are you. So make peace with this power of limitation. Do not ignore it. Use it. No man
is as original as he thinks he is and it would be disastrous for him if he were. He is the
creature of his generation and can never shake himself free from it.
5) Everybody is different in this universe. Physically, everyman carried his identification
Disc on his thumb. No two thumb-prints are alike. Mentally also there are many
difference and these are more difficult to discover. Men differ a little in their bodies, more
in their minds and most of all in their feelings. In a factory, there are twenty machines all
alike. They are being operated by twenty men, all different. The supervisor must
know these human differences. He must not treat his workers as though they were
machines and the success of every supervisor would depend in knowing this aspect of
human nature.
6) Man has some `beliefs'. Why it is so? Because it is so much easier to believe than
to find out. Until very recently, the world was packed with ghost and demons and
witches and fairies. But in today’s world our powerful beliefs are not religious nor
mustical nor metaphysical. They are social and industrial and political. The beliefs that
rule us that shape our lives - are the beliefs of the home, the shop, the factory and the
market-place. Superstition has not been destroyed, rather it has taken new forms.
Human nature is being redefined, but it is not so vastly different from the Human
Nature of the fourteen century. The outworn belief of the past are called.
Superstition and the active Beliefs of today are called public opinion and at that
dread name we all bow the knee. So, if we wish to be successful in this world of
difficulties and delusions, we must doubt all Beliefs. We must gather the facts. We
must keep opinion in its place. We must trust the truth.
7) Everybody thinks ! This is a centrifugal function - thinking. It is the exact opposite
of limitation. It is the development of the self. The more you think the less you
imitate. The more you think, the more different you become to other people. Imitation
is a social quality. Thought is not. Thought is for the Thinker. Thought isolates a man
from his fellows. And thought is the greatest of all Prime Movers. it governs
Governments. It rules rulers. It is the king of kings and Lord of Lords. it pulls down
and build up. It is power and more than power. It is ultimately Goodness and Truth and
ripeness of the human race.
8) The law of habit is a centripetal quality of Human Nature. It is akin to the quality of
imitation. Habit means that we imitate ourselves. We do a thing is the same way we did
it before. We do a thing in the same way we did it before we do it more and more
mechanically, until it becomes automatic and ultimately unconscious. Habit and
change are the two opposite qualities of Human Nature. The one leads to fixation and
the other leads to exploration. The great leaders of this generation will be those men
who can help us to change our Habits wherever they are restricting our development.
9) Change is centrifugal quality of Human Nature. It is a kin to the quality of
thinking. It is different from thinking for this reason - that it means action. Change is
neither optional nor occasional. It is inevitable and universal. Every human being can
improve. No human being has ever been found who was not improvable. No one
has reached his limit. No one is petrified into changelessness.
10) Praise is a necessity to all human beings. It is non-existent in plants and
minerals. It is a mental necessity of the higher living creatures, where there is no
praise there is morbidity, sullenness, dejection, shamelessness. laziness, inertia
and crime. No man is all good or all bad. If you praise him, be specific. If you
blame him be specific. A man will take the severest Blame without bitterness if
you point out his merits as well as his defects. Both are indispensable to
human development - Praise and Blame.
11) Most animals and all human beings respect Leadership. The oretical democrat in
which all are equal has never existed and never can. it is one of the silliest
delusion in the world. Every mob even develops its leaders. Wherever there
are two men in any sort of cooperation, one of them is a Leader. No one can
avail leadership. Wherever there is group of men they crystallize around the one
who is most masterful, resourceful and courageous. So Leadership! you must have
it in every nation - every shop - every mill - every factory. No system will take its
place, Man want to be loyal to a man. They will never do their best for a Board or a
committee. Everyman must lead his inferiors and follow his betters.
12) There are two distinct varieties of Human Nature - masculine and faminine.
There are no neuters, Men and women are different . They are different mentally as
well as physically. Man is not superior. Neither is woman. Man takes life as an
adventure and a sport why ? because he
creates life by his greatest pleasure. And woman takes life as a task because she
creates life by her greatest pain. So practically in all trades and professions it is
necessary to remember that there are two very different sorts of people -
Male & Female. A good sale person design his strategy only that way because he
understand the basic that every body is sexed.
13) It is an undeniable fact that every human mind is two fold. A small part at it is
conscious; a large part of it is unconscious. The two are like a combined work shop and
warehouse. The work shop is well lighted but the warehouse
is in darkness and all manner of things are stored in the warehouse which the
workman has quite forgotten. And the vital fact to bear in mind, on this subject, is
that consciousness is delusive. It is never complete. You are never wholly conscious of
all your contents.
14) Everybody has ideals, this is the quality of human nature which can't be
ignored. It pushes the race forward and pulls it back. Our ideals are, in a way,
the opiates of the mind. They are mental intoxicants. The stimulate and
depress. The saves from the harshness and crudity of the actual world and
makes life far more endurable for us than it would be otherwise. Find the ideals
that suit you. That is one of the secret of fame and happiness And in general
we should beware of the ideals that are either too new of too old. Every new
truth begins as a heresy and ends as a superstition. It is practical only when it
is in its prime.
15) These fourteen Axioms divides themselves equally as centralist and
centripetal. The centralist qualities make a person social but the centrifugal
qualities are those which individualize us. Each set at qualities need to be
balanced. If a man has central qualities only, he is more raw material, himself
undeveloped without any personality. And if he is centrifugal only, he is a
crank, an outlaw, a genius or a lunatic. And a normal human being is one who
strikes a balances, equilibrium.
******************

HOW TO MANAGE YOURSELF

 HOW TO MANAGE YOURSELF

1. Motivating Yourself :
If you can understand how to get motivated, you can use those good feelings to help
live your life as you wish :
◾ Try to keep assessing situations, to make sure your behaviour is appropriate
◾ Try to be reasonable and realistic
◾ Try to talk to people in their own terms
◾ Be aware that other people's motivations are not always the same as your own.
2. Praising & Criticising
Most of us like to be praised and hate to be criticised.
◾ Give criticism and compliments promptly - both are reduced in their impact if they
take place too long after the event.
◾ Criticise properly bad criticism leads to arguments and emotional responses
◾ Do not personalise either when giving or when receiving criticism
◾ Be gracious about giving and receiving compliments.
◾ Choose your reaction to criticism - do not get caught up in reacting instantly, think
and choose how you want to react.
3. Handling thoughts and feelings
◾ Separate how you feel from what you think. Events do not cause feelings, they
can be thought which in turn cause feelings.
◾ Don't practice negative feelings - it can make you ill and cause more problem than
expressing them.
◾ Practice negative feelings assertion to tell people how you feel by using your words
and not your behaviour.
◾ Avoid dwelling on what happened.
4. Understanding behaviour and assertiveness
This book is about what you can do to make things happen. What you can not do is
change other people.
◾ Understand what assertiveness is and do not confuse it with aggression.
◾ Respect both your own rights and those of others
◾ Practice assertive behaviour, which may impact on your emotions, making you
feel more assertive as a result.
◾ Respond, do not react. Do not be afraid of time. You are entitled to time to think
about things before responding.
5. Handling aggression
◾ Aggression is not a pleasant behaviour
◾ It is any behaviour with a view point of `I am better than' or 'You are less than'
◾ Be aware that aggression may make you feel good in the short term but is never
good for you in the long term.
6. Dealing with passivity
◾ Remember that passive person feels `less than' others. Encourage them to
develop confidence.
§ Be aware that passivity only brings a temporary relief from an unpleasant
situation. The long term effects are still unpleasant.
◾ Always be assertive and do not be tempted to get aggressive or frustrated with
passive people.
7. Speaking without words
◾ Learn to identify the body language signs of aggressive and passive behaviour.
◾ Try to remember that these signs tend to make us react. They are the manner
rather than content.
◾ Try to choose your responses based on the contents of the message but allowing
for the manner.
8. Listening
◾ Listen actively
◾ Avoid things that prevent you listening properly and try to improve your listening
◾ Ask questions properly to ensure you have understood.
9. Negotiating and Handling Change
§ Check your own stand before negotiating. You will communicate
better if you know what you are trying to achieve.
§ Look for areas of common ground to build on. This makes reaching an
agreement much more likely.
§ Try to reach an agreement that is mutually acceptable.
10. Staying Confident
Confidence is a feeling of being capable to cope.
◾ Choose when to deal with an issue.
◾ When dealing with a problem, remember it is always your problem. You can not
change others. So you need to look at yourself and see how you can cope with
others.
If you think about the principles, techniques and information detailed above, you
should be well on the way to being able to manage your own emotions, reactions and
behaviour.

Caiib ABM recollected questions 2019

Re-collected questions posted by our members Caiib ABM recollected questions 2019

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1. Case Study on Demand Supply curves with graph

2. Match the following about Horn effect, leniency error, central tendency error etc

a. The halo effect — a tendency to allow one trait or characteristic of an employee to influence the assessment. The halo is to rate an employee consistently high or low.

b. The leniency or strictness tendency of the superior interferes with the appraisal and accordingly the assessment gets influenced. The superior is unable to come out of these tendencies.

c. The central tendency problem refers to assigning average ratings to all the employees without properly evaluating each aspect of appraisal carefully and fearlessly.

d. Similar error is the tendency of comparing the employee with oneself on various traits and parameters. Those who show the similar characteristics are normally rated high.

3. Simple Question on Y = a +bx

4. Halo effect means positive attitude rating

5. Inflation change calculation

6. Leniency error

7. Type of inflation

8. Bond problem

9. Ratio analysis

10. Linear program 5 marks

11. Probability 5 marks - Z values given

12. Sampling related 5 marks

13. Money Supply/ Demand curve related 5 marks

14. Narrow Money, Broad Money related case study

15. Credit Monitoring questions

16. Debtors turnover ration

17. STOCK TURNOVER RATIO

18. CURRENT RATIO

19. QUICK RATIO

20. FV formula

21. Calculating LC 5 mark case study

22. LEI - The Legal Entity Identifier (LEI) code is conceived as a key measure to improve the quality and accuracy of financial data systems for better risk management post the Global Financial Crisis. LEI is a 20-digit unique code to identify parties to financial transactions worldwide.

23. HRIS

24. Role erosion and role ambiguity

25. Net fiscal deficit

26. Green GDP

27. Real gross income

28. Standard estimate error

29. Regression/Coefficient

30. Interpretation of confidence interval

31. Simplex method

32. What is called broad money

33. In which phase price of commodity is lowest? Boom/Recession/Depression/Recovery

34. Question on cluster sampling

35. GDP deflator

36. Who said what definition of economics

37. Working capital

38. Business cycle

39. Linear programming, HR theories, sampling

40. What is 3Vs

41. Sample proportion calculate

42. Marshall definition

43. Credit delivery

44. Case study on money measurements

45. Motivation theories with their founders

46. Covariance was given and SD was given....we had to find correlation

47. Johari window 1qs

48. SMA1

49. Zero coupon bond

50. Mixed economy

51. Performance appraisal systems

52. NPV

53. Microeconomics

54. Compensation

55. National domestic product

56. Left brain

57. B Type personality

58. COGS = Opening Stock + Purchases during the period − Closing Stock

59. Around 10 questions on Standard Deviation

60. Bell curve

61. Interpretation of confidence interval

Match the following was atleast 5

Numerical are easy

Many case study or questions from HR module

CCP exam recollected questions

CCP EXAM 23-02-2020

1.All most 10 questions from ratios and fund flow and cash flows.( queations  on stock and debtors turnover and their impacts)

2. 5 Questions on working capital assessment by different methods.

3. 5 Questions on lc calculatiin and definitions of lcs.

4.5 Questions set on PERIORITY SECTOR LENDING CERTIFICAE.
5.5 Questions on Msmed act.

6. 4 questions break even analysis.

7.Around 7 questions on payback method and irr

8. One question on formula of ANBC

9.Two questions from company act.(commemcement of business certificate not required now) etc.

10.There were  2 or 3 quetions on provision( provision for mse I remembered. Provisining coverage ratio also asked.

11. Kimberly method related to which.

12.Cardinal principal of lending.

BEP 5 Marks.
WC assessment,
NPV, IRR concept.
LC/BG assessment case study.
PSLC.
Priority sector classification.
LTV, Provisioning norms.
B/S analysis, DER.
ISCR calculation.

Theoretical questions are conceptual, problems were easy, read handbook on credit management thoroughly.